Article

2006-02-05 India-Pakistan

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Posted by Fred 2006-02-05 00:00|| || Front Page|| [9 views since 2007-05-07] Top

#1 Ok, on behalf of the West, I will apologize for the offensive cartoons.

The following conditions need to be met first, however:

1) Formal apology for blowing up the statues of the Buddha in Afghanistan by the Taliban. You remember, the ones that were considered to be world treasures by the UN? Yeah, those ones.

Clarification as to what the Buddhists did to you guys in the first place to get you so inflamed with rage would also be appreciated, because quite frankly, for the rest of us, it's a big huge WTF?

2) Formal apology for believing that crap that Newsweek stated about us flushing the Koran down the toilet.

I expect dimwitted hacks to not realize how difficult it is to flush a large book, since heaven only knows when they last picked up one not written by another "intrepid journalist speaking truth to power". But since this book is, by your statements, the major tome of your religion and one you are intimately familiar with, couldn't you figure out that maybe there would have to be a loo of epic proportions to flush it?

I mean, c'mon, have you seen those "water saving toilets" we're cursed with here? The hidden Shiite imam will arrive at Tehran International Airport before we get through the beginning sura!

3) Formal statement that cartoons depicting the Israeli leader eating children, or movies depicting other Hebrews of stealing body parts or using blood to make matzoh are so 2003. A few cartoons showing Jews with baby ducks, kittens and adorable puppies would be nice, but I'm not hoping for a miracle.

4) Formal statement that what your co-religionists are doing in Darfur is a disgrace. No, I don't care if the 235,987th most learned imam says it's ok, either.

You have until I walk over to the CVS or the Walgreens to make up your minds. If such statements are not issued by the time I decide which one I'm going to (could take a moment, since I have to check the sales flyers first), this hormonally charged woman is going to buy a tin of Danish butter cookies. Or two.

For my ~~cravings~~ rage will not be appeased any other way. Remember when Fatima was pregnant and just had to have those donner kababs at 3 am and all the stalls were closed?

That's what you're dealing with here, pal.

Make the statements, or Copenhagen's getting my $5.

The choice is yours.

May peas be upon you, etc., etc., etc.

Posted by Desert Blondie 2006-02-05 07:37|| http://azjetsetchick.blogspot.com ]">[http://azjetsetchick.blogspot.com ] 2006-02-05 07:37|| Front Page Top

#2 Da-yum, DB!

Don't hold back - tell us what you really think. ;-p

Oh, yeah - and ditto for me, too.

Especially the butter cookies. :-D

Posted by Barbara Skolaut">Barbara Skolaut 2006-02-05 09:09|| http://ariellestjohndesigns.com/page/15bk1/Home_Page.html]">[http://ariellestjohndesigns.com/page/15bk1/Home_Page.html] 2006-02-05 09:09|| Front Page Top

#3 Very well said, Desert Blondie. I do wish I could write like that... oh, and should I take up knitting soft, little things? ;-)

Posted by trailing wife 2006-02-05 09:56|| 2006-02-05 09:56|| Front Page Top

#4 :) Danish Butter Cookies...

Posted by Jules 2006-02-05 10:18|| 2006-02-05 10:18|| Front Page Top

#5 Thanks, tw. Yes, but there's plenty of time for the knitting. Not till October. ;)

Posted by Desert Blondie 2006-02-05 10:30|| http://azjetsetchick.blogspot.com ]">[http://azjetsetchick.blogspot.com ] 2006-02-05 10:30|| Front Page Top

#6 Good enough, DB. Time for me to learn how to knit, then. ;-)

Posted by trailing wife 2006-02-05 11:21|| 2006-02-05 11:21|| Front Page Top

#7 October? !

Posted by Rantburg Interiors to Go 2006-02-05 12:00|| 2006-02-05 12:00|| Front Page Top

#8 For Desert B and the Tsar Yut... I just like it.

Posted by 6 2006-02-05 12:05|| 2006-02-05 12:05|| Front Page Top

#9 October?

Wow, DB...

Posted by Pappy 2006-02-05 12:22|| 2006-02-05 12:22|| Front Page Top

#10 Supposedly 1 October, the average age of the 'burg will dip a little.

And 6, that sure woke the Tsar up! Didn't know he could run that fast. Made a good dive to the computer to turn it off. Thanks for the laugh. ;)

Posted by Desert Blondie 2006-02-05 14:12|| http://azjetsetchick.blogspot.com ]">[http://azjetsetchick.blogspot.com ] 2006-02-05 14:12|| Front Page Top

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