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2024-08-27 Caucasus/Russia/Central Asia
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Mother-in-law danced, husband prayed. Wedding in Dagestan exposed social rift
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Direct Translation via Google Translate. Edited.
by Maria Orlova
[REGNUM] A wedding in the Dagestani village of Nizhneye Kazanishche. The newlyweds are about to go outside, but suddenly the young wife's mother starts circling around her daughter, calling her to dance. The music thunders, and the aunts' round dance carries the young woman along. The husband is shocked by what is happening: he tries to stop the dancing, and when he fails, he rips the wires of the music equipment out of the sockets.
The video from the wedding in Nizhny Kazanishche appeared the day before in Dagestani Telegram channels, and then in VKontakte communities. In the public group “Voice of Dagestan”, the video collected more than a thousand likes and almost two thousand comments in a couple of days. In addition to expressing support for the groom — “handsome!”, “that’s how it should be!” — and mass condemnation of the bride’s mother, commentators discussed how the young people found each other and decided to get married with such different families?
"Where was the groom looking when he was wooing a girl from a non-observant family? He saw what kind of parents and relatives the girl had. And what were the girl's parents and the girl herself thinking when she married a guy who observed religion?" - one of the most "liked" comments under the video.
In response, one user suggested that the families might not have come to a compromise on how the wedding would go. And if they did, the "social" mother-in-law only formally agreed to be left alone, and then at the celebration she did things her way. "You need to initially take someone from your circle as a partner," the author of the comment concludes.
The male commentator immediately explained that in modern Dagestan, "the imam concludes the marriage before the banquet halls, the young couple are already husband and wife. The husband has all rights to his wife as soon as he takes her to his home from her parents' house." In general, "according to religion," music and dancing are prohibited at weddings.
In any case, a compromise could have been found, one of the commentators is sure, describing his own story from two years ago. Then, according to the man, "they gave away a niece in marriage to a groom of a different nationality."
“Seeing the groom with a beard, I made a remark: “Wearing a beard is not prohibited, I cannot forbid it, but the size of the beard is not a criterion for assessing a person’s faith in the Almighty, it should be in the soul of every person.”
Then I informed the guests that from our side there would be a full wedding, the bride's exit from the house would definitely be with music. The groom's side agreed with us. Moreover, at their request, the wedding was held together, in one hall," the man wrote.
Another story was shared by a girl “whose parents were communists and her husband was religious.”
"When he came to my parents' house, my father immediately made it clear that the wedding would be with music and alcohol - at most, he would not put alcohol on his table - out of respect, that he was against the hijab, and a few other things. My husband agreed. We got married, after some time I covered myself. And my husband conveyed the religion to my parents so beautifully that they began to study it themselves," the girl wrote.
According to another version, the conflict at the wedding could have been programmed from the start - if both the bride and the groom had “non-observant” families.
"Most people in Dagestan have secular families since the communist era, but the youth are more religious. That is, the adults have agreed on something, but the young people have not," wrote one user.
However, the reason for the dispute may be much more prosaic: the bride’s mother could simply be trying to recoup the costs of the celebration.
"We had a case. The groom's parents, without the newlyweds, had a secular wedding the next day to cover their expenses. Perhaps the mother decided to do this at the expense of her daughter's dance," wrote a resident of Dagestan.
There is a tradition at weddings: guests can dance with the bride, after giving her a banknote. In this way, a decent amount can be collected.
At the same time, as explained in the comments, usually the groom's side bears most of the costs of organizing the wedding. And this time, the "musicians and other fun" were obviously ordered by the wife's family.
In any case, as one commentator wrote aphoristically, for the young family “the honeymoon was icy.”
In turn, a resident of Makhachkala offered a recipe for how to prevent similar situations in the future. According to her, conflicts will stop "when both the bride's side and the groom's side understand one simple truth: their children are building their own family. Parents need to understand long ago that they should not interfere in the relationship of two people who are getting married. There will be less pulling back and forth, there will be fewer divorces and broken lives."
The incident in the Dagestani village really illustrates the split in local society, 60-year-old Dagestani Rizvan A., chairman of a collective farm in the Tver region, told Regnum. The man visits his homeland every year and sees how the mood in the region changes.
According to Rizvan, the young wife found herself between two fires: on the one hand, the duty of a Dagestani girl is to honor her parents and obey her mother, on the other hand, to obey her husband.
"We, the older generation, grew up in the Soviet Union. It is customary for us to work hard and have a good rest. How can we not drink excellent Dagestani cognac at a wedding, how can we not dance? I don't understand!
And some of the youth in Makhachkala are now completely different. They are interested in mosques, gyms and barbershops. They want to live like the sheikhs in Saudi Arabia, so they try to become more righteous than Mohammed himself. Our girls have never worn niqabs, the Dagestani women's dress is very beautiful. And now women wrap themselves in black, like in Iran," says the interlocutor of IA Regnum.
He is sure that this is a conflict not only between generations, but also between Soviet modernism and religious archaism.
Dagestan is a boiling cauldron of nations. Only officially, 14 nationalities live side by side here, speaking different languages, but connected by a common history and centuries-old neighborhood.
A Dagestani wedding is one of the main events in the life of a new family. Several hundred guests are usually invited to the celebration. But if earlier a wedding in Dagestan was a celebration of good neighborliness, now different worldviews can clash, which will not only spoil the holiday, but also threaten to create a much wider conflict than a quarrel between two families.
In Dagestan today, there are two types of weddings. The first is the "regular" one, where they dance to loud music and drink to the health of the newlyweds. The second is a Muslim wedding, where alcohol is strictly prohibited, and the ceremony is accompanied by the quiet singing of nasheeds - traditional singers who sing without the accompaniment of musical instruments. Dancing is not prohibited in Islam, but it is believed that men and women should dance separately from each other, in different rooms.
"Most of the peoples of Dagestan profess Islam. But historically, Dagestani Islam absorbed the traditions of the mountain peoples, it was very different from the harsh Islam of the Arabian Desert.
95% of the population of Dagestan are Sunni Muslims, 5% are Shiites. In short, Shiites, who believe in the infallibility of Muslim teachers-imams, are the main current of Islam in Iran. And in more moderate Muslim countries, Sunnis predominate, believing that vital issues should be decided by the Muslim community,” religious scholar Farit Batyrgareev tells IA Regnum.
Recently, he continues, Wahhabism has been considered a separate branch - a movement whose followers believe that Islam must be cleansed of all innovations that appeared after the Prophet Muhammad and his descendants. At the same time, the radicalization of Islam in the post-Soviet space coincided with the global trend.
"Most likely, the growth of Islamist sentiments among Dagestani youth is based on the demand for social justice, so clearly expressed in the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad. Faced with corruption, bureaucracy and other vices of the secular regional system, young people are leaving for mosques," Batyrgareev said.
But radicalism and misunderstood principles of Islam manifest themselves in horrific excesses. In June, terrorists in Dagestan attacked synagogues and a church, where Russian Orthodox priest Nikolai Kotelnikov was brutally murdered. The attackers included the son and nephew of the former head of the Sergokalinsky district, Magomed Omarov.
At the end of October 2023, about 1,200 people rioted at Makhachkala's Uytash airport, breaking into the building and then onto the airfield. The radical youth were waiting for a plane from Tel Aviv to arrive.
On August 23, the Armavir City Court issued the first verdict to the participants in the pogrom: five defendants in the criminal case were sentenced to prison terms of six to nine years. However, they did not admit their guilt.
The main problem is that radical Islamists are ready to do anything. Not so much because of their hatred of Russia, but because of their rejection of the entire modern world as such. In addition, the seething energy of radicals can be used for their own purposes by Russia's enemies, trying to split society and incite interethnic strife.
And the young family from Nizhny Kazanishche can only wish that everything works out for them. If the young people love each other, they will understand and forgive their other half. And if not, maybe it’s good that everything ended, essentially, before it began?
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Posted by badanov 2024-08-27 00:00||
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