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2024-04-11 -Short Attention Span Theater-
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'Sheila Jackson Lee Named Head Of Harvard Astronomy Department
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[BEE] CAMBRIDGE, MA — In the wake of claiming the moon is made of gas and the sun is "almost" too hot to get close to, Texas Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee has been named the new head of Harvard University's Astronomy Department.
The Board of Overseers at the prestigious Ivy League institution was reportedly wowed by Jackson Lee's insights into the cosmos, with the school immediately seeking to get in touch with her about the department head position.
"Her knowledge blew us away," said Harvard Interim President Alan Garber. "When she said, 'The moon is made up of mostly gasses. That's why the question is why or how could we humans live on the moon' -- that's when we knew she was Harvard material."
While some have raised questions about Jackson Lee's qualifications to lead the school's Astronomy Department after her comments about the moon being comprised of gases, the board was willing to overlook any criticism. "It's not about qualifications here at Harvard," Garber said. "She hasn't been qualified to serve in Congress all these years, but she's done it. That says a lot about her ability to overcome adversity and general misunderstandings about basic elements. She literally watched a flag be planted on the moon, thinking it's being planted in gas - and yet, she got elected to Congress. What a leader!"
Jackson Lee's office said she would join the school's faculty within a few weeks and that due to normal legislative inaction, it would not interfere with her ability to continue serving in Congress.
At publishing time, Jackson Lee was planning her first lecture to educate students about the fact that asteroids are made of chocolate. 
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Posted by Besoeker 2024-04-11 07:54||
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