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2023-08-19 -Obits-
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Man split in half after jumping 750 feet to his death from roof of ritzy Mandarin Hotel
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[NYPOST] A man jumped 750 feet to his death from the roof of a  five-star Manhattan hotel on Thursday night, according to police.
"Goodbye, cruel world! Concrete, here I come!"
Police believe the man leaped from the top of the ritzy Mandarin Oriental Hotel in Columbus Circle shortly after 9 p.m., police and sources said.
"Yeah. This is kinda like flying, ain't it?"
The unidentified man was pronounced dead at the scene.
"He's dead, Jim. That end of him is too."
The man, who does not appear to have been a guest at the hotel or living in its residences, is believed to have taken a service elevator to the roof, police sources said.
"Hummmm.... Lessee here... Probably this button... This thing goes up fast! Betcha I come down even faster!"
He hit the hotel’s glass awning on the way down, and his body split in half, sources said.
"Ow! (briefly)"
An arm was found across the street, where construction scaffolding was seen dripping with blood, they added.
"There's another one over there... And there..."
"Wait a minute! How many arms did this guy have?"
He hit a balcony on the way down, and his body split in half, sources said.
He was beside himself.
"Maude, did you just hear something on the balcony?"
"Yeah. I can't see what it was though. The glass is covered with blood."
Sources said the victim appeared to be wearing pajamas.
He wandered the streets of New York and walked into a ritzy hotel, took a service elevator to the roof and tried to fly home. Happens all the time, except for the part about splitting in half..
There were no other injuries and no criminality is suspected at this time, cops said.
Nobody was standing under him for his first flying lesson.
A standard Mandarin Oriental room with a Central Park view can fetch upward of $1,195.
Cheeze McKnuckles! I once stayed in a motel in Hope, Arkansas for a buck. Of course that was in 1966. They didn't offer fine dining or flying lessons.
The hotel lies on the top 19 floors of the 55-story Deutsche Bank Center tower, which is also home to some of Hollywood’s most elite celebrities.
None of whom can fly.
Actress Cynthia Nixon, model Gisele Bundchen and musician Jay-Z are just some of the A-listers who once owned residences in the tower, which lies on "Billionaire’s Row."
Wow. Shuckens. Golly gee. What's Gisele's comely butt have to do with amateur aviation?
It's a smash hit? 
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Posted by Fred 2023-08-19 00:00||
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