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2023-04-15 -Great Cultural Revolution

[TWITCHY] As the CEO of a company founded in America’s heartland more than 165 years ago, I am responsible for ensuring every consumer feels proud of the beer we brew.
I didn't found it, but I woulda if I'd been around. But I wasn't. That's why I didn't.
We’re honored to be part of the fabric of this country. Anheuser-Busch employs more than 18,000 people and our independent distributors employ an additional 47,000 valued colleagues. We have thousands of partners, millions of fans and a proud history supporting our communities, military, first responders, sports fans and hard-working Americans everywhere.
We like it that we make a lotta money so our kids can go to schools like Harvard and that sort of thing. Lotsa people have jobs with AB and it'd be a shame if they lost them. Lotsa people depend on us.
We never intended to be part of a discussion that divides people. We are in the business of bringing people together over a beer.
We didn't know it was loaded. We're trying not to bleed out here... Ma?...It's getting darker! Izzat you, Ma?
My time serving this country taught me the importance of accountability and the values upon which America was founded: freedom, hard work and respect for one another. As CEO of Anheuser-Busch, I am focused on building and protecting our remarkable history and heritage.
I wuz in the Marines, y'know. If it's raining shit don't forget yer umbrellla...
I care deeply about this country, this company, our brands and our partners.
I spend much of my time traveling across America, listening to and learning from our customers, distributors and others.
I care deeply about my job and keeping my family fed. I spend much of my time traveling across America in a carriage pulled by eight Clydesdale, wearing clothing so fine it can't even be seen by dullards.
Moving forward, I will continue to work tirelessly to bring great beers to consumers across our nation.
Wanna buy some beer? We're having a sale.
Brendan Whitworth
She hasn't left yet, but we've hired somebody to walk in front of her ringing a bell and hollering "Unclean! Unclean!"
CEO, Anheuser-Busch
Mulvaney popped a tampon when he heard it. If he hadn't fallen on a pile of money he'd have broken his neck!

Posted by Fred 2023-04-15 1:22:39 PM|| || Front Page|| [22 views ] Top

#1 This is not your demographic, AB, and once your customers move on to another product many of them will never be back.

Posted by Angstrom 2023-04-15 15:23|| 2023-04-15 15:23|| Front Page Top

#2 Those are the words you say when your severance package just got much nearer and smaller.

Posted by Super Hose 2023-04-15 18:46|| 2023-04-15 18:46|| Front Page Top

#3 Carefully monitored by counsel to avoid any hint of culpability for the coming shareholder lawsuit. He said nothing smoothly because even though you company lost billions in net worth, you are terrified of angering queer men in dresses stamping their feet and calling you names. Somehow Semper Fi turned into simper DIE!

Posted by NoMoreBS 2023-04-15 19:35|| 2023-04-15 19:35|| Front Page Top

#4 Sort of like looking at a freeway crash. Haven't bought anything from them for ... 40 years now. Not gonna start now. Shiner Bock for me.

Posted by ed in texas 2023-04-15 19:53|| 2023-04-15 19:53|| Front Page Top

#5 The real question is not the several billion dollars of losses since this thing blew up, but any net change in the financial picture of the entire company. According to Wikipedia, these are Anheuser-Busch’s brands:

Major Brands
Budweiser and Bud Light, including variations
Michelob and variations
Rolling Rock
Busch
Shock Top
Natural
Johnny Appleseed hard cider
Land Shark Lager

Acquired Craft Beer Breweries
Goose Island
Blue Point
10 Barrel
Elysian
Golden Road
Four Peaks
Breckenridge
Karbach
Wicked Weed

Malt Liquors
King Cobra
Hurrican
Spykes

Then there are the specialty beers and AB’s minority investments in independent breweries.

Also, how long any change might last. The entire managerial class is convinced that conservative consumers will not long remember their desire to punish for this insult, but will soon drift back to old purchasing habits.

Posted by trailing wife 2023-04-15 20:44|| 2023-04-15 20:44|| Front Page Top

#6 talk about FREE advertising...

Posted by 746 2023-04-15 22:14|| 2023-04-15 22:14|| Front Page Top

#7 Of the no such thing as bad publicity type. ;-)

Posted by trailing wife 2023-04-15 22:35|| 2023-04-15 22:35|| Front Page Top

#8 Pouring Bud Light down the sewer still counts as a sale.

Posted by Helmuth, Speaking for Sholugum4538 2023-04-15 22:41|| 2023-04-15 22:41|| Front Page Top

#9 Shiner Bock

My go to as well!

Posted by Angstrom 2023-04-15 23:41|| 2023-04-15 23:41|| Front Page Top

20:45 DooDahMan
20:42 swksvolFF
20:14 NoMoreBS
19:59 Aca Joe
19:47 Frank G
19:40 Frank G
19:10 SteveS
18:43 DooDahMan
18:42 DooDahMan
18:39 DooDahMan
18:18 Mullah Richard
18:12 Bobby
17:24 NN2N1
17:24 Classer
17:21 USN, Ret.
17:15 swksvolFF
17:13 HAL
17:08 Canuckistan sniper
16:56 swksvolFF
16:36 Besoeker
16:31 Deacon+Blues
16:30 Gleremble+Bucket3559
16:27 Deacon+Blues
16:16 Super Hose