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2022-11-20 -Land of the Free
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The CIA Has a Podcast, Revealing Personnel to Be Even More Self-Important, Mediocre Than We Knew
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| A taste. Much more pointing and laughing at the link. I keep hoping that all this is just a really, really clever cover for incredible depths of competence and effectiveness against America’s enemies. |
[Breitbart] The CIA has launched a podcast called The Langley Files, and it’s even more boring and cringe than we could have imagined — but it also inadvertently reveals a level of mediocrity in the agency commonly suspected but rarely seen.
To spare the American public, Breitbart News has accepted the undertaking of listening to the four episodes released so far and can report that they broadcast an agency in embarrassing decline.
The show is hosted by “Dee” and “Walter” — last names presumably omitted for maximum super secret, super cool spy effect — who don’t disclose their role at the agency, but are probably millennial comms staff.
“At CIA, there are truths we can share and stories we can tell — stories of duty and dedication, stories of ingenuity and mission, stories beyond those of Hollywood scripts and shadowed whispers,” Dee says, as the first, “unclassified” episode opens. “Today, we’re taking a step out from behind those shadows, sharing what we can, and offering a glimpse into the world of the Central Intelligence Agency.”
Walter then introduces his first guest, CIA Director Bill Burns, who opens by acknowledging that “trust in institutions is in short supply,” and then proceeds for the following 15 minutes to patronize listeners with thinly-disguised propaganda and cloying personal anecdotes.
Burns — who by all appearances looks like the quintessential D.C. bureaucrat — helpfully informs us that he doesn’t “exactly fit the image” of James Bond and Jason Bourne, saying that he actually drives a “2013 Subaru Outback” and struggles to work his Roku.
Burns then goes on to tout the agency’s work helping Ukraine and the strike against Ayman al Zawahiri last summer — but stops just short of mentioning some of his agency’s other greatest hits, like the intelligence snafu leading to the droning of an innocent man and his children in Kabul just following the spectacular intelligence failure that was the Afghanistan withdrawal in the summer of 2021. The withdrawal debacle does come up later in the episode, but Burns awkwardly glazes over any responsibility his agency might have had, grouping himself with those who sacrificed their lives in the conflict, saying, “we” did “our duty” and “honored our profound obligation.” 
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Posted by Skidmark 2022-11-20 00:00||
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File under: Tin Hat Dictators, Presidents for Life, & Kleptocrats
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2022-11-20 07:11||
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2022-11-20 11:42||
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2022-11-20 12:58||
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