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2022-06-16 -Short Attention Span Theater-
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Woman strapped to gurney fires gun in Conroe, Texas, ER
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 [NYPOST] A woman strapped to a gurney on her way to a mental health checkup at a Texas hospital was able to take out a stashed gun and open fire inside an emergency room, police said.
At least there was somebody close by to attend to the wounded,
The suspect, identified as 65-year-old Glendar Johnson-Jackson, was brought to HCA Healthcare Conroe on Tuesday for a mental health evaluation after allegedly causing a disturbance at a local business, news station ABC 13 reported.
"Hmmm... What's your assessment, Doctor Bones?"
"She's a lunatic, Doctor Casey."
She was strapped to a stretcher in the hallway, with her arms and legs secured, when police said she somehow got hold of a small-caliber gun from a waistband-style holster concealed under her dress.
"Lookout! She's got a small-caliber gun!"
Police said Jackson-Johnson squeezed off two rounds before an EMS worker wrestled the gun out of her hands.
[CONK!] (Sound of O2 bottle hitting crazy woman skull)
"Gimme dat gun!"
Conroe Police Chief Jeff Christy commended the paramedic’s "heroic" actions, which he said "likely saved innocent lives."
"I figgered she needed some O2 therapy."
"She'll be better for it, once she comes to."
Johnson-Jackson now faces charges of felony deadly conduct and a misdemeanor count of unlawful carry of a weapon in a prohibited place, according to Montgomery County jail records.
And she has a splitting headache.
She was medically cleared to be booked into the county jail, where she remained Wednesday.
"Into da paddy wagon wit' yez, missy."
The hospital later released a statement addressing the shooting incident.
"Don't shoot up our emergency room."
"HCA Houston Healthcare Conroe is aware of an incident that occurred in our emergency department earlier today," it read in part. "There were no injuries sustained. We are committed to high-quality care and maintaining patient and colleague safety."
"So don't bring no guns."
The Harris County Sheriff’s Office has launched an internal investigation to determine how Jackson-Johnson was allowed to be brought into the hospital with a gun hidden on her person after being detained by deputies.
Umm... It was hidden? EMS personnel aren't allowed to frisk patients. 
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Posted by Fred 2022-06-16 00:00||
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Posted by Cesare 2022-06-16 07:09||
2022-06-16 07:09||
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Posted by Super Hose 2022-06-16 11:59||
2022-06-16 11:59||
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[NYPOST] A woman strapped to a gurney on her way to a mental health checkup at a Texas hospital was able to take out a stashed gun and open fire inside an emergency room, police said.