Article

2022-05-20 Government Corruption

Fauci Recommends Stopping Spread Of Monkeypox By Covering Eyes, Ears, Mouth

[Bee] WASHINGTON, D.C.—The Monkeypox pandemic has finally breached the shores of the United States, with the CDC confirming a staggering 1 infections so far. In response, America's favorite, most trusted doctor, Dr. Anthony Fauci, issued a statement recommending people stop the spread of Monkeypox by covering their eyes, ears, and mouth.

Fauci accepted 137 TV interviews and a book deal after issuing the guidelines essentially recommending people look the other way rather than investigate the source of this new outbreak.

"As I, the Science, have always said, lockdowns don't work. What really works is turning a blind eye to where this outbreak nonsense may or may not have leaked from," said Dr. Fauci to a fawning NBC news anchor trying to get his autograph. "And I'd like to add that there is no evidence the Monkeypox outbreak is connected to the NIH-funded Institute of Monkeypox Studies next door to patient zero."

Not all health professionals agree with Dr. Fauci's health order. Dr. Corry Larreia, a world-renowned monkey virologist and respected expert in finding the source of Monkeypox outbreaks, said Dr. Fauci was wrong and the outbreak should be investigated in full.

At publishing time, Dr. Larreia had been disbarred, lost his virology license along with his official stethoscope, was banned from his local book club, snubbed by Apple's Siri, and lost both of his hands in a tragic wood chipper accident.

Posted by Frank G 2022-05-20 12:20|| || Front Page|| [16 views ] Top
File under: Tin Hat Dictators, Presidents for Life, & Kleptocrats

#1 Monkeypox: CDC investigating first US case of the year as growing clusters emerge globally outside Africa

Posted by Skidmark 2022-05-20 13:03|| 2022-05-20 13:03|| Front Page Top

#2 FDA approves smallpox drug also believed to be able to treat monkeypox - as global cases of the rare virus grow in the US and Europe

Posted by Skidmark 2022-05-20 13:17|| 2022-05-20 13:17|| Front Page Top

#3 Hey Tony, I got a WalMart bag you can use.

Posted by ed in texas 2022-05-20 13:37|| 2022-05-20 13:37|| Front Page Top

#4 Wal mart bags tend to have holes in the bottom, need something like a trash bag.

Posted by Chris 2022-05-20 14:19|| 2022-05-20 14:19|| Front Page Top

#5 Probably feel at home in a trash bag.

Posted by swksvolFF 2022-05-20 14:54|| 2022-05-20 14:54|| Front Page Top

#6 Nice dry cleaning bag, held on with a couple winds of duct tape around the neck.

Posted by M. Murcek 2022-05-20 14:57|| 2022-05-20 14:57|| Front Page Top

#7 Monkeypox patients could be infectious for up to FOUR WEEKS after symptoms appear, experts say, as eleven countries and Massachusetts report cases

Posted by Skidmark 2022-05-20 16:02|| 2022-05-20 16:02|| Front Page Top

#8

I nominate "Fauci" as a new Urban Dictionary word.
Used as "Joe just did a Fauci" or " Don't confuse Facts with Fauci."

Posted by NOBODY-SPECIAL 2022-05-20 19:43|| 2022-05-20 19:43|| Front Page Top

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