Article

2022-04-25 Caucasus/Russia/Central Asia

Biden warns Russia if they do not stop he will deploy Admiral

[Babylon Bee] WASHINGTON, D.C.—With Russia poised to tear through Eastern Europe with terrifying military power, Biden warned Putin that if he doesn't stop advancing his army, he will be forced to deploy his deadly trans admiral.

"You think I'm joking, Vlad! I ain't messin' around here! You don't want me to use this!" said Biden to Putin in a Zoom call, motioning to a portrait of transgender admiral and Assistant HHS Secretary Admiral Rachel Levine. "This is the deadliest weapon the United States has ever produced, and I won't hesitate to use it on you! Watch out!"

Diversity and inclusion experts speculate the firepower in just one trans admiral is capable of leveling 3 Russian cities to the ground using the incredible destructive power of intersectional identity politics. Foreign policy experts believe Russia is outmatched by America's stunning diversity and inclusion capabilities and will soon be forced to surrender.

Sources say Ukrainian citizens will certainly sleep better tonight knowing the power of diversity is on their side.

Posted by Besoeker 2022-04-25 07:14|| || Front Page|| [11126 views ] Top

#1 Brutal

Posted by Sock Puppet of Doom 2022-04-25 08:47|| 2022-04-25 08:47|| Front Page Top

#2 Ouch! The satire, it burns!

Posted by magpie 2022-04-25 10:00|| 2022-04-25 10:00|| Front Page Top

#3 i still think voltron could kick the transformers asses!

Posted by Chereng Angaique4639 2022-04-25 10:20|| 2022-04-25 10:20|| Front Page Top

#4 capable of leveling 3 Russian cities to the ground

Levine, when the balls fell.

Posted by swksvolFF 2022-04-25 10:42|| 2022-04-25 10:42|| Front Page Top

#5 I thought Admiral might be the name of a new German Shepherd.

Posted by Super Hose 2022-04-25 13:05|| 2022-04-25 13:05|| Front Page Top

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