Article

2022-03-30 -Great Cultural Revolution

Chris Rock Smooths Things Over With Will Smith By Sleeping With His Wife

[Babylon Bee] In a show of penitence for the insensitive joke told during the Oscars, Chris Rock offered to smooth things over with Will Smith by sleeping with his wife.

"My client feels incredible remorse for the violently inconsiderate jab aimed at Jada Pinkett Smith’s debilitating medical condition," said Rock’s publicist, "As such, Chris generously proposes making amends by making love."

Friends of the Smiths expressed surprise that Will’s initial reaction was to reject the comedian’s coital olive branch, knowing the cuckold really had no say in the matter. However, after learning he was at risk of losing his precious Oscar award, Smith expressed full support for the peace offering, again mistakenly assuming his decision would in any way influence his wife’s escapades.

Jada Pinkett Smith expressed overwhelming support for the comedian’s generous offer to reconcile and make things right and promised to pen him into her busy schedule of sleeping with other men

Posted by Frank G 2022-03-30 07:02|| || Front Page|| [11127 views ] Top

#1
[Will Smith storms into Babylon Bee office]

Posted by Dron66046 2022-03-30 07:07|| 2022-03-30 07:07|| Front Page Top

#2 The “slap” was fake.

Posted by Xyz 2022-03-30 07:37|| 2022-03-30 07:37|| Front Page Top

#3 They both need to be smacked.

Posted by JohnQC 2022-03-30 09:56|| 2022-03-30 09:56|| Front Page Top

#4 Slapstick: 1 a device made of two flat pieces of wood fastened at one end so as to make a loud noise when used by an actor to strike a person

2 a style of humour involving exaggerated physical activity that exceeds the boundaries of normal physical comedy. Slapstick may involve both intentional violence and violence by mishap, often resulting from inept use of props (cf. "slap stick", above)

Posted by Lonzo Gray6025 2022-03-30 10:15|| 2022-03-30 10:15|| Front Page Top

#5 Me, I want better quality of events at the Oscars.

I want Sean 'p' Diddy whatsit to gun down George Clooney accidentally while aiming sideways at Ice Cube. I want Wesley Snipes to rush at the Rock with a machete and get smacked into a coma. I want vin deisel to be attacked by Chris Tucker on PCP and Jordan Peele to be hit by a stray bullet meant for Tom Cruise. I want Priyanka Chopra's dress to be torn and her face clawed out by Tessa Thompson. Gimme an Oscar night to remember. Gimme the truth.

Posted by Dron66046 2022-03-30 10:55|| 2022-03-30 10:55|| Front Page Top

#6 Why can't Tom Cruise die?

Posted by Chris 2022-03-30 12:00|| 2022-03-30 12:00|| Front Page Top

#7 ^ There's always next year. 😁

Posted by Dron66046 2022-03-30 12:05|| 2022-03-30 12:05|| Front Page Top

#8 Just heard Bruce Willis has Aphasia and will retire from acting. Too bad, I always enjoyed his movies

Posted by Frank G 2022-03-30 12:47|| 2022-03-30 12:47|| Front Page Top

#9 ^ Me too. The Die Hards, Lucky Number Slevin, Fifth Element... even some of the later ones were good. Looper was great.

Posted by Dron66046 2022-03-30 13:04|| 2022-03-30 13:04|| Front Page Top

#10 Was Alec Baldwin invited to the Oscars this year? They were lucky that all they got was a slap this year.

Posted by ruprecht 2022-03-30 14:56|| 2022-03-30 14:56|| Front Page Top

#11 Smith should have been attested and drug tested. My guess is he was coked up like many of the other attendees.

Posted by Besoeker 2022-03-30 15:17|| 2022-03-30 15:17|| Front Page Top

#12 “ A 52yo male developed sudden-onset reading difficulty and aphasia 7d after the second dose of an mRNA-based SARS-CoV-2 vaccine”

Posted by Papa Cooky 2022-03-30 17:42|| 2022-03-30 17:42|| Front Page Top

#13 ^ EXCLUSIVE: Bruce Willis, 67, is seen using an earpiece prompter on American Siege movie set 'having suffered cognitive issues and problems with his lines since 2020': Die Hard star 'steps back from acting' after revealing aphasia brain disorder diagnosis

Posted by Skidmark 2022-03-30 20:40|| 2022-03-30 20:40|| Front Page Top

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