Article

2021-05-12 -Short Attention Span Theater-

Keystone XL Pipeline To Be Repurposed To Transport Chick-Fil-A Sauce

[Babylon Bee] ALBERTA—In response to a national sauce shortage brought on by supply chain issues, Chick-Fil-A has purchased the Keystone XL Pipeline and will repurpose it to carry millions of gallons of glorious Chick-Fil-A sauce to desperate Americans.

"This was a no-brainer," said CEO Dan Cathy. "Americans consume 32 billion gallons of Chick-Fil-A sauce every day. This pipeline was just sitting there collecting dust, and we've given it a second chance at life!"

Environmentalists planned to protest the pipeline and its potential impact on wildlife, but then Dan Cathy gave them a bite of delicious chicken dipped in golden sauce and they instantly became evangelical conservative capitalists.

The new pipeline project is expected to create 25,000 new jobs and deplete the world's reserves of natural smoke flavor, caramel color, and xanthan gum.

Posted by Besoeker 2021-05-12 10:47|| || Front Page|| [11 views ] Top

#1 I still feel there is a definite role for the highly successful Dominion computer systems and software in all of this.

Posted by Besoeker 2021-05-12 10:51|| 2021-05-12 10:51|| Front Page Top

#2 But...but...I though Chick-fil-A was politically incorrect too.

Posted by Abu Uluque 2021-05-12 12:00|| 2021-05-12 12:00|| Front Page Top

#3 yeah, we saw how the boycott on Chik fi a went.

Posted by Chris 2021-05-12 12:29|| 2021-05-12 12:29|| Front Page Top

#4 What about shoe polish?

Posted by swksvolFF 2021-05-12 14:03|| 2021-05-12 14:03|| Front Page Top

#5 Would be funny except for the fact that food shortages are on the left's to-do list also.

Posted by M. Murcek 2021-05-12 14:07|| 2021-05-12 14:07|| Front Page Top

#6 "Here are 5 tasty recipe for locusts after we ban pesticides."

"Oatmealworm breakfast? I think I'll Yes Please!"

"My new candle scent smells like my kitchen after baking crickets!"

Posted by swksvolFF 2021-05-12 14:15|| 2021-05-12 14:15|| Front Page Top

#7 This pipeline can't come online fast enough. Via InstaPundit: Chick-fil-A sets sauce limit as industry-wide shortage hits chain

Posted by Omaiter Sinatra6457 2021-05-12 19:00|| 2021-05-12 19:00|| Front Page Top

#8 If this happened at Popeye's, there would be blood in the parking lot.

Snark O'The Day

Posted by Omaiter Sinatra6457 2021-05-12 19:02|| 2021-05-12 19:02|| Front Page Top

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