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2021-05-05 -Short Attention Span Theater-

'I Have Changed My Mind And Do Not Want A Divorce From This Amazing Handsome Man,' Says Glossy-Eyed Melinda Gates After Receiving Vaccine

[Babylon Bee] MEDINA, WA—In a shocking turn of events, Melinda Gates has changed her mind about divorcing Bill Gates only minutes after receiving the COVID vaccine.

"I have changed my mind and do not want a divorce from this amazing and handsome man," said Melinda with a glazed look in her eye. "Bill is perfect in every way. I cannot live without him. Also, Windows is the best operating system and Internet Explorer is the best way to surf the world wide web."

According to sources, her divorce lawyer quickly jumped in to change her mind, reminding her that Bill was a major nerd in high school and that she would get at least half of his mind-controlled zombie army in the divorce.

"I do not care," she said. "I live only to serve my wonderful husband, Bill." She then changed into a 50's housewife dress and began cooking him breakfast.

Bill Gates could not be reached for comment, but his spokesperson released a statement, saying: "Windows is the best operating system and Internet Explorer is the best way to surf the world wide web. All hail Bill."

Posted by Besoeker 2021-05-05 04:12|| || Front Page|| [15 views ] Top

#1 ...the Stepford variant shot?

Posted by Procopius2k 2021-05-05 06:16|| 2021-05-05 06:16|| Front Page Top

#2 Who knew the Nerd King was a playa?
Bill Gates took getaways with his ex-girlfriend after marriage to Melinda

Posted by Sneart Thromonter8301 2021-05-05 06:41|| 2021-05-05 06:41|| Front Page Top

#3 Who knew the Nerd King was a playa?

Well, he does have "Fuck Me" money.

Posted by DarthVader 2021-05-05 08:09|| 2021-05-05 08:09|| Front Page Top

#4 For what it is worth there are rumors going around that Gates went to Epstein Island, or that he is in the flight logs. What I've learned about Epstein is he liked to hob-knob with the celebs and elites enjoying them suckuping up to him hoping for big donations to their causes which makes it difficult to know if being in the flight log means anything or not.

Posted by rjschwarz 2021-05-05 18:19|| 2021-05-05 18:19|| Front Page Top

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