Article

2020-12-11 Science & Technology

Immediately After Moving To Texas, Elon Musk Announces Tesla AR-15

[Babylon Bee] AUSTIN, TX—After years of fighting lame California politicians who want to lock everyone in their homes so they can't go to space or build cool stuff, Tesla CEO Elon Musk announced he was moving to a land flowing with milk and honey called Texas. Almost immediately after the move, he announced a new product the whole world has been waiting for: the Tesla AR-15.

"Um... h-howdy, I think," said Elon, expertly taking on the local dialect. "Y'all want a Tesla AR-15? You got it, partner!"

The new firearm will look similar to a standard AR-15 but will in fact be a battery-powered railgun capable of firing 3 million rounds per minute. It will also feature a fingerprint sensor, Bluetooth capability, heat-seeking ammunition, and a chainsaw bayonet, to name a few.

"We really wanted to re-think self-defense," said Musk. "This new firearm will be the go-to rifle for our SpaceX volunteers when they encounter hostile aliens. It's also a celebration of the Second Amendment. If any federal authorities try to confiscate it, the rifle will automatically connect to the internet and file a lawsuit for you!"

The Federal Government has requested that Tesla at least remove the AI-powered "self-driving" feature on the firearm before selling it.

Posted by Besoeker 2020-12-11 00:00|| || Front Page|| [11 views ] Top

#1 OTOH, it will blow up the first few times you fire it.

Posted by Ulavirong Omeager2818 2020-12-11 01:03|| 2020-12-11 01:03|| Front Page Top

#2 Well at least it would have Bluetooth, so that's a plus.

Posted by Mullah Richard 2020-12-11 06:57|| 2020-12-11 06:57|| Front Page Top

#3 Sure hope the Projectile Guidance System is disabled so that it won't return to its launching point. That could impact (repeat) sales.

Posted by USN, Ret. 2020-12-11 09:07|| 2020-12-11 09:07|| Front Page Top

#4 I call BS on the AR-15 Size rail-gun.
The article reads like a joke waiting to played of commenters not reading to the end.

Besides no AR-15 size Rail-Gun could fire 3 million rounds a minute. It would have to be connected to a Mega-Watt Power Plant and have capacitor circuity that allows reloading, firing and recharging at 50,000+ rds a sec. Imagine the recoil at 50,000 rds a sec.

Now think of the Thermodynamics vs. Metallurgy issues alone. An the fact it would have to wrapped in a Helium cooled case and fed from a large cylinder tank.

Yes I looked into building a single shot model back in late 2000+ after seeing one in come movie. Yes I love to tinker, but I flush the idea after seeing the size, cost and issues.

EG.
AMAZING-1 WEB SITE

See the Youtube video link on the page.

Posted by NN2N1 2020-12-11 15:40|| 2020-12-11 15:40|| Front Page Top

#5 Put a dollar in the jar, NN2N1.

Posted by Ulavirong Omeager2818 2020-12-11 15:45|| 2020-12-11 15:45|| Front Page Top

#6 BEE - it's in the link

Posted by Frank G 2020-12-11 16:40|| 2020-12-11 16:40|| Front Page Top

#7 NN2N1's comment reads like the real thing but if it is tongue in cheek then, sir, my hat's off to you.

Posted by AlmostAnonymous5839 2020-12-11 17:59|| 2020-12-11 17:59|| Front Page Top

#8 ^ Either way, seems like the Bee owes him a buck or two.

Posted by Hupinelet B. Hayes3113 2020-12-11 20:28|| 2020-12-11 20:28|| Front Page Top

#9 Dont forget the worst part: It will be painted a scary black!!!

Posted by Galactic Coordinator B. Hayes3402 2020-12-11 23:25|| 2020-12-11 23:25|| Front Page Top

#10 ... And then Texas seceded.

'Melon Labia, you votecloning basticthes!'

Posted by Dron66046 2020-12-11 23:53|| 2020-12-11 23:53|| Front Page Top

06:21 Frank G
06:06 Frank G
05:43 NN2N1
05:41 Skidmark
05:40 NN2N1
05:39 Besoeker
05:35 Skidmark
05:31 Skidmark
05:26 Procopius2k
05:26 NN2N1
05:20 Besoeker
05:11 Grom the Reflective
05:10 Besoeker
05:10 Grom the Reflective
04:59 Grom the Reflective
04:57 Grom the Reflective
04:57 Grom the Reflective
04:54 Besoeker
04:34 Besoeker
04:30 Grom the Reflective
04:06 Grom the Reflective
04:05 Grom the Reflective
02:52 Grom the Reflective
02:31 DarthVader