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2020-10-12 Home Front: Politix
How I plan to survive utter despair if Trump steals the election
[NYDAILYNEWS] In my household, the nightly self-administered dose of anxiety commences at dinnertime when my wife switches on MSNBC. As the president blunders through a press briefing leaving behind a trail of disinformation, my spouse invariably delivers an impassioned stream of expletives at the screen. Then we listen to the pundits, who have lately spent a worrisome amount of time commenting on the many devious ways in which our commander-in-chief could lose the election but remain president anyway.

Frankly, I simply cannot deal with this possibility. I’m already on anxiety meds and there’s probably no medication in existence that can take the edge off the demise of democracy in America.

How does one cope with this level of stress? I’ve read a few articles written by therapists and charlatans that offer advice on maintaining sanity under difficult conditions. Some of these include finding your inner child and living one day at time.

Continued from Page 6



Seriously? Does this prescription work for anybody? You wouldn’t want to meet my inner child. According to my parents, my childhood was characterized by tantrums and a disturbing lack of enthusiasm for potty training. Living one day at a time? Good idea. I think I’ll live one day at a time, but that day will be a Thursday in October 2025. I have no idea what will happen on that day, but it couldn’t be much worse than this one.

I don’t know if I possess the mental stability to even watch the election returns (sorry, Steve Kornacki), but here’s what I plan to do if Trump somehow manages to hijack the election.

First, I’ll put all news programs on parental control, delete my YouTube app and deactivate my Facebook page.

At night, after taking melatonin, I’ll retire at 10:00 p.m. every night and wake up at 10:00 a.m. That’ll kill half the day.

I’ll read The New York Times

...which still proudly displays Walter Duranty's Pulitzer prize...

, but not the current issue. I’ll Google The New York Times archives for say, Jan. 20, 1961, the day JFK was inaugurated. That was a good day.

That done, I will stream only those shows that will make me believe that nothing catastrophic actually happened on Nov. 3, 2020.

Samples:

"THE WEST WING"
I’ve already binge-watched this superb classic three times since Donald Trump
...The tack in the backside of the Democratic Party...
’s inauguration, but I can certainly keep doing it. Hell, there are 156 episodes. I’ll pretend that I’m living in a world where the brilliant, compassionate, morally upright Josiah Bartlett is my president. I’ll walk down the office corridors tossing off bitingly clever sarcastic remarks with Josh Lyman, C.J. Cregg and Sam Seaborn.

"MADAM SECRETARY"
Like "The West Wing," reruns of this show allow me to hang out with an honest, capable secretary of state who works for a capable president and solves ultra-complex international crises within 45 minutes with pleasant, light, heartwarming humor and totally unbelievable alacrity.

"THE WATERGATE HEARINGS"
There’s nothing more uplifting than the Watergate Hearings. It’s indescribably soothing to watch a Congress with a healthy degree of integrity and decency, not to mention the iconic scene featuring a defeated Nixon departing the White House, waving and smiling with fake joviality at the top of the helicopter’s stairs. You just know he’s going to start crying like a maimed bully once the chopper is airborne. I’ll follow that up with a chaser, "All the President’s Men."

FOOTAGE OF BARACK AND MICHELLE OBAMA
Just about anything here will be heartwarmingly nostalgic. Remember Obama’s perfectly-delivered stand-up routines at the White House Correspondents' Dinners, his hilarious drive around the White House with Jerry Seinfeld and all those touching shots of him goofing around on the floor of the Oval with little kids? This stuff can last for days and it never gets dull. I usually need a box of Kleenex.

"MR. SMITH GOES TO WASHINGTON"
Most people won’t even find this movie credible today. A courageous senator willing to openly defy his own party for the good of his country? Seriously? LOL. Jimmy Stewart filibusters in the old-time sense of the practice but it doesn’t remind you at all of the time Ted Cruz;
...US Senator from Texas. Republican contender for president in 2016, his stiff and abrasive manner earned him the title most hated man in the Senate. After a close win over Beto O'Rourke, who tried to out-Latino him, he grew a beard and let his biting wit shine through. Cruz's comments have been known to leave life-threatening wounds at better than forty feet...
did it. I’ve already watched it twice since Trump’s first six months in office. My goal will be to memorize Jefferson Smith’s entire speech.

Will this take the edge off? I don’t know, but at least I’ll get 12 hours of sleep.

Posted by Fred 2020-10-12 00:00|| || Front Page|| [17 views ]  Top

#1 Being a Democrat means never having to say you lost an election fair and square.
Posted by Raj 2020-10-12 00:55||   2020-10-12 00:55|| Front Page Top

#2 This is really doing the Bee's work for it.
Posted by Bright Pebbles 2020-10-12 05:00||   2020-10-12 05:00|| Front Page Top

#3 A history of tantrums and an inability to accept reality. Sounds about right.
Posted by Cesare 2020-10-12 07:30||   2020-10-12 07:30|| Front Page Top

#4 "According to my parents, my childhood was characterized by tantrums"

and absolutely nothing has changed
Posted by Bob Grorong1136 2020-10-12 07:44||   2020-10-12 07:44|| Front Page Top

#5 I’ll pretend that I’m living in a world where the brilliant, compassionate, morally upright Josiah Bartlett is my president.

If that's not emblematic of the liberal mindset, then I don't know what is. Freakin' pansy - when our side lost to the jug-eared socialist on two occasions, I bitched about it and then did the following - I got on with my life. It's simultaneously irritating and funny as shit to hear about whining pieces of crap like this 'man' speculate about an event that will happen hasn't even happened yet, after listening to the FAILED 2016 Dem nominee make excuses and place blame on her loss on anything and everything under the sun every single fucking god damned week in public forums and not one single time hearing anything remotely like a truthful reckoning with the fact that she got schlonged.

What a bunch of infantile adults - I hope they lose forty states and the next time I read about this guy in the NYDN, it just might involve the Brooklyn Bridge somehow, to put himself out of his misery.
Posted by Raj 2020-10-12 08:27||   2020-10-12 08:27|| Front Page Top

#6 Raj - A Beautiful RANT!
Posted by 3dc 2020-10-12 08:46||   2020-10-12 08:46|| Front Page Top

#7 ..when my wife switches on MSNBC

Reaper indoctrination. Take. Back. Earth.
Posted by Procopius2k 2020-10-12 09:04||   2020-10-12 09:04|| Front Page Top

#8 I question the writer's lede assumptions. Who says he HAS to survive?
Posted by Mercutio 2020-10-12 09:07||   2020-10-12 09:07|| Front Page Top

#9 I’ll pretend that I’m living in a world where the brilliant, compassionate, morally upright Josiah Bartlett is my president.

Lefties tend to forget Martin Sheen also played Greg Stillson...
Posted by M. Murcek 2020-10-12 09:37||   2020-10-12 09:37|| Front Page Top

#10 In my household, the nightly self-administered dose of anxiety commences at dinnertime when my wife switches on MSNBC.In my household, the nightly self-administered dose of anxiety commences at dinnertime when my wife switches on MSNBC.

The first big mistake; watching the faux news; it leads to a bad case of TDS.
Posted by JonhQC 2020-10-12 11:08||   2020-10-12 11:08|| Front Page Top

#11 Further Adventurers of The New York Modern Man.
Posted by swksvolFF 2020-10-12 11:14||   2020-10-12 11:14|| Front Page Top

#12 Give in to dispair... or not.
Either way, Shut Up.
Posted by ed in texas 2020-10-12 12:03||   2020-10-12 12:03|| Front Page Top

#13 "leaving behind a trail of disinformation"
It never occurs to them that perhaps the disinformation is coming from MSNBC's reporting on the President and not with the President himself.
Posted by rjschwarz 2020-10-12 17:51||   2020-10-12 17:51|| Front Page Top

#14 He should just give in and self darwinate in an approved green fashion. Jump into a mulcher so you can be recycled into plant food. It's for the children.

/sarc in case anyone gets twitchy
Posted by Silentbrick 2020-10-12 17:59||   2020-10-12 17:59|| Front Page Top

#15 Trump is not going to "steal" the election. It's going to be a landslide.
Posted by JohnQC 2020-10-12 18:01||   2020-10-12 18:01|| Front Page Top

#16 It almost sounds like he can't take his wife's bullshit.
Posted by swksvolFF 2020-10-12 23:36||   2020-10-12 23:36|| Front Page Top

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