Rantburg

Today's Front Page   View All of Thu 05/29/2025 View Wed 05/28/2025 View Tue 05/27/2025 View Mon 05/26/2025 View Sun 05/25/2025 View Sat 05/24/2025 View Fri 05/23/2025
2020-09-26 -Short Attention Span Theater-
Joel Osteen Invites Hunter Biden To Give Sermon On Living Your Best Life Now
[Babylon Bee] HOUSTON, TX—Joel Osteen invited Hunter Biden to speak at Lakewood Church this weekend and share the secrets to his abundant life. The wealthy son of the Democratic presidential candidate will speak to a packed audience about the blessings he has named and claimed over the years.

"My dear friend Hunter has been quite the inspiration to me," said Osteen. "In the years I have watched him, he's never been afraid to reach out and claim God's blessings for his life. He teaches us all how to look at our dreams boldly and say, 'That's mine!'"

Biden spoke to a crowd of reporters outside the church. "What's my secret? Um, I dunno. I think just being Joe Biden's son really helps. He's really good at bribing Ukrainian gas companies and stuff. And Russian oligarchs are super-rich. If you do favors for them they'll wire you millions. Oh yeah, and God helped. I just claimed what I wanted, you know?"

Unfortunately, Hunter's speech stalled towards the middle as he started to shake and sweat.

"You mind if I go backstage for a minute? I forgot something," he said nervously.

He walked backstage still wearing a lapel mic, and the audience heard two very loud snorting sounds over the loudspeaker, likely due to severe seasonal allergies.

Hunter returned to the stage looking much better and finished his inspirational speech. Afterward, he passed out signed copies of his book entitled The 12 Steps to Living Abundantly by Being Joe Biden's Son.
Posted by Besoeker 2020-09-26 08:08|| || Front Page|| [11137 views ]  Top

#1 The tutti di capo of con artists everywhere.
Posted by Raj 2020-09-26 08:49||   2020-09-26 08:49|| Front Page Top

#2 Whoah! Walked right into that.

*critical failure - $3 in the jar*
Posted by swksvolFF 2020-09-26 22:52||   2020-09-26 22:52|| Front Page Top

16:27 Gravilet Snanter4154
16:20 Chaise Speaking for Boskone7897
16:02 Skidmark
16:01 Skidmark
15:46 Skidmark
15:41 Skidmark
15:37 swksvolFF
15:36 Skidmark
15:34 Skidmark
15:27 Skidmark
14:48 NoMoreBS
14:31 NoMoreBS
14:16 NoMoreBS
14:15 NoMoreBS
14:04 swksvolFF
13:47 Regular joe
13:43 swksvolFF
13:38 swksvolFF
13:34 swksvolFF
13:31 Abu Uluque
13:25 Heribertus Vedente
13:24 mossomo
13:20 Abu Uluque
13:14 mossomo









Paypal:
Google
Search WWW Search rantburg.com