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2020-08-26 Home Front: Politix

CNN Reports Trump Instructed Americans To Inject Plasma From Old TVs To Fight Coronavirus

[Babylon Bee] ATLANTA, GA—After Trump announced a potential breakthrough in the fight against coronavirus involving convalescent plasma, CNN reported that Trump instructed his followers to inject the plasma from plasma televisions in order to get rid of the virus.

"Trump literally told his sycophantic followers to buy a plasma television, get a syringe out, and inject the plasma stuff right into their bloodstreams," Brian Stelter hollered on his Sunday program. "He also seemed to suggest you could just snort the stuff or put it in a bong and smoke it. This is extremely dangerous. We must repeat for our extremely intelligent CNN viewer(s): do not inject plasma. Do not eat plasma. Do not consume an entire television."

At publishing time, at least one Florida man had died from injecting plasma from an old TV.

Posted by Besoeker 2020-08-26 00:00|| || Front Page|| [7 views ] Top

#1 Damn - down $1 in early voting...

Posted by Raj 2020-08-26 00:52|| 2020-08-26 00:52|| Front Page Top

#2 At publishing time, at least one Florida man had died from injecting plasma from an old TV.

Turns out his wife did it trying to poison him.

Posted by gorb 2020-08-26 00:57|| 2020-08-26 00:57|| Front Page Top

#3 Babylon Bee, for sure, but with the level of fact checking these days... Hmmm?

Posted by magpie 2020-08-26 10:23|| 2020-08-26 10:23|| Front Page Top

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