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2020-06-04 Home Front: Politix

In Bold Anti-Trump Statement, Pelosi Rips Up Bible

[Babylon Bee] WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a bold, powerful statement to oppose Trump, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi solemnly tore up the Bible after Trump was seen holding one up in front of a church.

At a press conference, the Speaker of the House held up a Bible and then ripped it in two, declaring that she was against anything Trump was associated with.

"If Trump is for the Bible, then I am against it," she said as she struggled to rip the Bible in half. Finally, aides came to intervene, pre-ripping the spine of the Bible so it would be easier for her to tear. "All the books of the Bible are bad: Genesis, Joseph, the one with the big fish, even Hezekiah. We must stand against Trump's bigotry by ripping up anything he claims to be for."

"Yass, queen! Slay!" shouted her fans at the press conference as she finally managed to rip the Bible up. "You're my president!"

In a genius move, Trump then held up a Koran in front of a mosque, forcing Pelosi to tear up a Koran and alienate the left.

Posted by Besoeker 2020-06-04 04:58|| || Front Page|| [11137 views ] Top

#1 Bee

Posted by g(r)omgoru 2020-06-04 05:03|| 2020-06-04 05:03|| Front Page Top

#2 "Alienate" Dubya as well....

Posted by Clem 2020-06-04 05:08|| 2020-06-04 05:08|| Front Page Top

#3 God is watching. And if you think you should beware the wrath of a patient man...

Posted by M. Murcek 2020-06-04 07:48|| 2020-06-04 07:48|| Front Page Top

#4 Careful with the Koran snark, Babylonians. Might cause the excitable ones to confuse you with Charlie Hebdo.

Posted by Lex 2020-06-04 09:47|| 2020-06-04 09:47|| Front Page Top

#5 Did she pre-rip each page?

Posted by gorb 2020-06-04 10:21|| 2020-06-04 10:21|| Front Page Top

#6 I think Dubya's church is the one where they eat crayons.

Posted by M. Murcek 2020-06-04 11:20|| 2020-06-04 11:20|| Front Page Top

#7 Burning Bibles in order to suppress their message can be official US government policy.

Not the Bee!

Posted by Elmerert Hupens2660 2020-06-04 12:43|| 2020-06-04 12:43|| Front Page Top

#8 She thought it was a phone book!

Posted by Skidmark 2020-06-04 17:32|| 2020-06-04 17:32|| Front Page Top

#9 When I read that title, I thought "Sounds possible, sounds even probable". Then I was Bee-stung.

Posted by Whiskey Mike 2020-06-04 17:53|| 2020-06-04 17:53|| Front Page Top

#10 HT: Q

Posted by Anomalous Sources 2020-06-04 18:08|| 2020-06-04 18:08|| Front Page Top

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