|
2020-05-01 -Signs, Portents, and the Weather-
|
|
Food Supply Issues Means U.S. Can No Longer Sustain Entire Country Being Morbidly Obese
|
 [Babylon Bee] U.S.—As the shutdown of the entire country starts to affect the food supply chain, with meat processing plants and other businesses closing, there are now signs of a looming crisis. Researchers say that the U.S. may soon no longer have enough food to support the entire country's being morbidly obese.
"We’re already down to producing only enough food for five thousand calories per day per person," said nutrition expert Marc Ward. "If this trend continues, the country will simply not have enough food to sustain the extreme corpulence of every man, woman, and child. We can support everyone being a bit chubby, but that’s it."
Fear of this disaster has already caused the hoarding of Twinkies, Häagen-Dazs, and canned gravy. President Trump, though, is telling citizens not to worry. "No one is losing a single pound while I’m president," Trump promised. "If we have to, we’ll open up our National Nacho Cheese Sauce Reserve."
Still, Trump said that people may want to eat more cautiously until things are back to normal. "Like you might want to look at the recommended serving size on the back and actually only eat that amount," Trump said, holding up a bag of Cheetos. He then looked at the back. "Twenty-one pieces?! That’s not realistic. Okay, don’t eat more than three times the recommended serving size." 
|
Posted by Besoeker 2020-05-01 05:02||
||
Front Page|| [22 views ]
Top
|
|
Posted by g(r)omgoru 2020-05-01 05:13||
2020-05-01 05:13||
Front Page
Top
|
|
Posted by M. Murcek 2020-05-01 05:52||
2020-05-01 05:52||
Front Page
Top
|
|
Posted by Besoeker 2020-05-01 05:57||
2020-05-01 05:57||
Front Page
Top
|
|
Posted by Clem 2020-05-01 05:59||
2020-05-01 05:59||
Front Page
Top
|
|
Posted by Lex 2020-05-01 06:08||
2020-05-01 06:08||
Front Page
Top
|
|
Posted by M. Murcek 2020-05-01 06:09||
2020-05-01 06:09||
Front Page
Top
|
|
Posted by Woodrow 2020-05-01 07:31||
2020-05-01 07:31||
Front Page
Top
|
|
Posted by M. Murcek 2020-05-01 07:35||
2020-05-01 07:35||
Front Page
Top
|
|
Posted by Procopius2k 2020-05-01 07:37||
2020-05-01 07:37||
Front Page
Top
|
|
Posted by M. Murcek 2020-05-01 07:45||
2020-05-01 07:45||
Front Page
Top
|
|
Posted by Besoeker 2020-05-01 08:26||
2020-05-01 08:26||
Front Page
Top
|
|
Posted by AlanC 2020-05-01 08:30||
2020-05-01 08:30||
Front Page
Top
|
|
Posted by M. Murcek 2020-05-01 08:38||
2020-05-01 08:38||
Front Page
Top
|
|
Posted by ruprecht 2020-05-01 09:21||
2020-05-01 09:21||
Front Page
Top
|
|
Posted by Lex 2020-05-01 09:33||
2020-05-01 09:33||
Front Page
Top
|
|
Posted by M. Murcek 2020-05-01 09:36||
2020-05-01 09:36||
Front Page
Top
|
|
Posted by Whiskey Mike 2020-05-01 22:01||
2020-05-01 22:01||
Front Page
Top
|
|
09:49 Skidmark
09:49 NN2N1
09:43 Besoeker
09:42 Skidmark
09:35 Besoeker
09:34 Mercutio
09:31 Mercutio
09:29 M. Murcek
09:23 Besoeker
09:18 Warthog
09:09 Procopius2k
09:08 Super Hose
09:04 Rex Mundi
09:02 Super Hose
09:01 Skidmark
08:58 Skidmark
08:58 Super Hose
08:55 Super Hose
08:52 Super Hose
08:50 Super Hose
08:49 Super Hose
08:45 MikeKozlowski
08:44 MikeKozlowski
08:41 ed in texas
|
