Article

2020-03-21 -Signs, Portents, and the Weather-

Spring Breakers Arrange Scattered Corpses To Spell Out YOLO

[Babylon Bee] MIAMI, FL‐It's spring break and, despite the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic, America's young and sexy beachgoers have some rays to catch. It's going to take a lot more than a deadly pandemic to stop these party animals from getting wet and wild in their natural habitat. While Spring breakers on the Florida coast are dying of the spreading COVID-19 virus, one thing lives on: their right to party. Recent aerial photographs reveal that the recently deceased funsters have been arranged on the beach to spell #YOLO ‐ a popular acronym that stands for the inspirational axiom "You Only Live Once".

"I will literally party until I bleed out of every orifice and pass on enough viral death fog to wipe out a small country," said one man wearing one of those hats with two beer cans on top that have little hoses leading to his face. The beer-headed man's attitude seemed to match many on the beach who expressed no concern for their own deaths or the many deaths to come because of large public gatherings such as this one.

Partyers on the beach already have a drinking game planned for if police invade and force them all to disperse. "Every time they say hands up, take a shot of tequila," said one of the beach-anarchist ringleaders. " We're gonna get so trashed. S'gonna be awesome."

Posted by Besoeker 2020-03-21 10:29|| || Front Page|| [11134 views ] Top

#1 Sheriff Chitwood in Volusia County is passing more info to the public re Chinavirus cases here than the county council wants. He's elected rather than appointed so he doesn't entirely answer to them.

Posted by M. Murcek 2020-03-21 10:42|| 2020-03-21 10:42|| Front Page Top

#2 So, this might be me in the near future. Had the virus. Got over it. Assuming that recovery confers some level of immunity, I've going to have a free pass just as this thing really gets going. Not sure what that means yet. Should get interesting.

Posted by Iblis 2020-03-21 11:42|| 2020-03-21 11:42|| Front Page Top

#3 Had to check if it was Bee -- because Spring Break drunken students.

Posted by magpie 2020-03-21 11:51|| 2020-03-21 11:51|| Front Page Top

#4 This is clearly a public health hazard. Authorities should have cordoned off the crowds and put them in fenced compounds with tents and basic sanitation until the epidemic passes. With an R₀ of 2.5 they could infect the eastern seaboard and the country riki tick (or exponentially for you mathematical types).

Posted by Alaska Paul 2020-03-21 12:26|| 2020-03-21 12:26|| Front Page Top

#5 Will make for some nice memes when folks compare the greatest generation fighting WW2 and the millennials partying without regard for the safety of the elderly.

Posted by ruprecht 2020-03-21 13:30|| 2020-03-21 13:30|| Front Page Top

#6 the greatest generation fighting WW2 and the millennials partying without regard for the safety of the elderly.

Or the grunt in Iraq & Afghanistan right now.

Posted by g(r)omgoru 2020-03-21 13:34|| 2020-03-21 13:34|| Front Page Top

#7 Declare the whole area quarantined and don't let them return home until the end of whole thing. Let them continue to party in quarantine camps.

Posted by ruprecht 2020-03-21 14:23|| 2020-03-21 14:23|| Front Page Top

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