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2020-03-12 -Short Attention Span Theater-
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The human race is in grave danger of stupidity, not coronavirus
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I do so love crap from the British tabs... [DAILYSTAR.CO.UK] The human race is in grave danger. Thousands of people are showing severe symptoms already and there is no known cure.
It's today's plague!
No, not coronavirus
 ...the twenty first century equivalent of bubonic plague, only instead of killing off a third of the population of Europa it kills 3.4 percent of those who notice they have it. It seems to be fond of the elderly, especially Iranian politicians and holy men...
, but sheer bloody stupidity.
There is a lot of that around
Never have so many brain cells been sacrificed on the altar of toilet paper fever. Come on people, what is that about?
When you gotta wipe, you gotta wipe.
Why, when you’re warned you may get a (for most folk, mild) respiratory tract infection do you instantly think what you really need in your life is industrial supplies of bog roll?
I dunno. Last time I had flu-like symptoms, I also got th trotz.
On what planet does that even begin to make sense? (Okay, possibly Uranus).
Take him/her/it off to the punitentury!
It’s not as if our sexy new version of flu gives you a runny nose. It’s mainly a dry cough and fever.
No trotz?
The only reason you may need that much Andrex is because you’ve stockpiled baked beans and tinned prunes too. Which is probably highly likely.
Mmmm! Prunez!
A vaccine for Covid-19 is already being tested and, like every other flu before it, we will soon have this particular lurgy under control. But, alas, being a sheep-minded moron is terminal.
Vaccines won't do you any good if you already have it.
Those efficient German types actually have a word for panic buying – hamsterkauf.
We've all heard about Saint Vitus Hamstertänzen, which so devastated Europa only a few centuries ago. Tragic. Simply tragic.
It says what it does on the tin (probably tomatoes because they’re being stockpiled too). Hamsters hoard stuff in their cheeks. They also have very small brains. Go figure.
They require teeny-tiny rolls of bumf.
On International Women’s Day footage of females fighting over loo rolls in an Australian supermarket went viral.
Dear Gawd! Not wimminz too?
Each of them had trolleys full of the stuff. More than they’ll ever need in a month of Sundays,
C'mon! What do you know about their digestive habits?
let alone the one or two weeks we’re all supposed to be now sofa surfing in front of Netflix. Curiously not one of them had any food. Which means they’ll starve to death surrounded by a fortress of pulped trees and cardboard tubes.
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Posted by Fred 2020-03-12 00:00||
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Posted by Procopius2k 2020-03-12 07:34||
2020-03-12 07:34||
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