Article

2020-01-11 -Lurid Crime Tales-

Tragic: Footage Of Epstein Suicide Found Hanging In Cell

[Babylon Bee] NEW YORK‐In a tragic occurrence, the footage of Epstein's suicide attempt was found hanging in its cell Friday in an apparent suicide.

The footage reportedly strung itself up with a strip of cloth, hanged itself from the ceiling, and then shot itself three times in the back of the cassette. Shocked security guards found the footage strung up, saying they would have kept an eye on it but were distracted by large bags of cash handed to them by a mysterious cloaked man.

"You hate to see this kind of thing, but sometimes, footage just doesn't have the will to live any longer," said Metropolitan Correctional Center Chief of Security Paul Bugs, after pulling up in his new Bentley. "That's the way life goes."

Footage of the footage hanging itself has also been found dead, apparently running itself over with a steamroller and then burning itself alive.

Posted by Besoeker 2020-01-11 01:21|| || Front Page|| [11131 views ] Top

#1 LOL

Posted by DooDahMan 2020-01-11 09:17|| 2020-01-11 09:17|| Front Page Top

#2 Man, the Bee is in "take no prisoners" mode lately.

Posted by SteveS 2020-01-11 19:28|| 2020-01-11 19:28|| Front Page Top

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