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2019-11-02 -Lurid Crime Tales-

Bill Clinton: Epstein's Cause Of Death Depends On What Your Definition Of 'Suicide' Is

[Babylon Bee] PHILADELPHIA, PA‐Speaking to a packed 30-seat arena, Bill Clinton remarked on Jeffrey Epstein's recent passing, saying that Epstein's cause of death "really depends on what your definition of 'suicide' is."

"Did Epstein commit suicide?" asked an attendee at the event.

A wide-eyed Clinton shrugged his shoulders. "I mean, it really depends on what your definition of suicide is, heh."

An awkward silence ensued. Bill turned to look at Hillary for support, but she just glared at him and ran her finger across her throat, a metaphor that means "death."

He went on, "Heh, I mean, well, we've got to define terms here, alright? If you mean, 'Did he hang himself without any outside assistance?' then I'd say that does not fall under the definition of what may or may not have occurred."

Hillary held up a pair of finger guns to her husband's head in a threatening fashion, another metaphor that means "death."
A repeat of their "marriage vows"
Bill gulped. "But, well, heh, if you mean did he hang himself and then shoot himself three times in the back of the head just to be sure? Then yeah, I'd say he committed suicide."

Posted by Frank G 2019-11-02 00:00|| || Front Page|| [20 views ] Top

#1 Apparently he (Bill) choked Monica a number of times.

Posted by Skidmark 2019-11-02 00:49|| 2019-11-02 00:49|| Front Page Top

#2 That photo reminds me of Granny from The Beverly Hillbillies

"Jethro!! You been cattin' again, son? I'ma gonna tan your hide, boy!"

Posted by Lex 2019-11-02 00:54|| 2019-11-02 00:54|| Front Page Top

#3 Speaking to a packed 30-seat arena

Fantastic intro.

Posted by swksvolFF 2019-11-02 10:30|| 2019-11-02 10:30|| Front Page Top

#4 Part of the BabbleOn Bee article is true and the rest is satire. HRC was recently asked by an audience member if she killed Epstein.

Posted by JohnQC 2019-11-02 10:53|| 2019-11-02 10:53|| Front Page Top

#5 I thought the question asked was HOW did she kill him...

Posted by Glenmore 2019-11-02 19:17|| 2019-11-02 19:17|| Front Page Top

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