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2019-10-29 Home Front: Culture Wars

CNN Uncovers Evidence Hero Dog Sniffed Dozens Of Butts Back In College

No worse than Joe Biden
[Babylon Bee] Everyone praised the classified "Hero Dog" for taking down ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi.

Everyone, that is, except CNN, who quickly searched through the dog's internet history and college yearbooks. Sure enough, CNN found a picture of the Hero Dog partying at obedience school. In the picture, the dog is seen sniffing a butt without consent.

"Oh yeah, good old [redacted]? He was nuts!" said one German Shepherd who attended Old Yaler Obedience School with the hero dog, according to a CNN report. "He was always sniffing any butt he could find. Cats, dogs, humans, you name it. He didn't have a preference. He identified as pansniffual."

Troubling reports from classmates indicate that the dog sniffed all these butts without consent. The dog wrote cryptic things in his college yearbook, apparently referring to different butt-sniffing maneuvers such as the Surprise Sniffarooski and the Canine's Triangle.

The dog has issued a statement: "I like butts. I've always liked butts. I still like butts, but I never sniff butts to the point of excess. Who's a good boy? I am."

Democrats immediately called for the dog to be court-martialed and for the death of Baghdadi to be overturned.

Posted by Frank G 2019-10-29 04:34|| || Front Page|| [11 views ] Top

#1 Hook her up with Rep. (D-CA) Katie Hill.

Posted by Pancho Flerens6518 2019-10-29 06:33|| 2019-10-29 06:33|| Front Page Top

#2 He taught Biden how to sniff?

Posted by Lex 2019-10-29 10:36|| 2019-10-29 10:36|| Front Page Top

#3 Democrats immediately called for the dog to be court-martialed and for the death of Baghdadi to be overturned.

Nice finish.

Posted by swksvolFF 2019-10-29 17:21|| 2019-10-29 17:21|| Front Page Top

#4 ^ I liked it

Posted by Frank G 2019-10-29 20:32|| 2019-10-29 20:32|| Front Page Top

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