Article

2019-10-15 -Short Attention Span Theater-

'Progressive Utopia Of California Becomes First State To Eliminate Electricity Entirely

[Babylon Bee] SACRAMENTO, CA‐California is being heralded as a progressive utopia after eliminating electricity entirely.

Working by candelight at his desk, Governor Gavin Newsom signed a new law that bans electricity, propelling the state into a progressive futuristic paradise. Newsom said he got the idea while experiencing the latest round of rolling blackouts in the state. He decided to make the blackouts the law of the land.

"Other, backward states still use carbon-heavy electricity, gas for heating and cooking, and wasteful air conditioning," he said proudly as people applauded around him. "But not on my watch. California has progressed beyond these archaic concepts."

The law also bans vehicles, forcing pedestrians to use innovative new horseless carriages.

Next on the legislative docket? The elimination of water-wasting toilets, to be replaced by just going on the sidewalk. A pilot program in San Francisco has been very successful, according to the homeless population there.

Posted by Besoeker 2019-10-15 02:49|| || Front Page|| [13 views ] Top

#1 Haha. If the Left had any brains at all, they'd take it as a lessons learned opportunity on what to do, although a lot of political domains in Florida and the Gulf Coast have had experience with the non-manmade consequences. Imagine this happening during the civil war they are so hard in seeking. Whatcha going to do when this becomes common in your big blue counties?

Posted by Procopius2k 2019-10-15 07:50|| 2019-10-15 07:50|| Front Page Top

#2 As they move closer to mother nature new living accommodations are on the horizon. Caves of one size or another. Overcoming the issues of spiders, snakes and the most grievous issue for women, no toilet seats. Ah yes, for men a hunting we will go. High ho the Derry o away I must go.

Posted by Dale 2019-10-15 08:37|| 2019-10-15 08:37|| Front Page Top

#3 Satire or truth?

Posted by JohnQC 2019-10-15 08:54|| 2019-10-15 08:54|| Front Page Top

#4 It’s the unification theory where truth and satire merge into one big pile of you-know-what.

Posted by Alaska Paul 2019-10-15 09:06|| 2019-10-15 09:06|| Front Page Top

#5 JohnQC, ask Scopes or Snopes or whatever they're called.

Posted by AlmostAnonymous5839 2019-10-15 10:28|| 2019-10-15 10:28|| Front Page Top

#6 Yes, we'll all be eating nuts and berries. We might try hunting but are we gonna eat the meat raw or can we make a fire by rubbing two sticks together for cooking? Won't the smoke emit carbon? Maybe we'll all have to go vegan.

Posted by Abu Uluque 2019-10-15 10:54|| 2019-10-15 10:54|| Front Page Top

#7 I'm afraid Mrs. Uluque will be very unhappy without ice cream.

Posted by Abu Uluque 2019-10-15 11:15|| 2019-10-15 11:15|| Front Page Top

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