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2019-10-10 Home Front: Culture Wars
NBA Now Requiring All Players To Stand For Chinese National Anthem
[Babylon Bee] NEW YORK, NY‐In an effort to salvage its relationship with China, the NBA is now requiring all players to stand for the Chinese national anthem at the beginning of every game.

The official song of the People's Republic of China, "March of the Volunteers," will be played at the start of all professional basketball games, whether at home or abroad. All players, fans, coaches, and employees will be required to stand and solemnly sing lyrics including the following:

Millions of but one heart we run towards the Communist tomorrow!
Build our homeland, guard our homeland, and fight gallantly.
March on! March on! March on!
We, for tens of thousands of generations to come,
Hold high the Flag of Mao Zedong, march on!


"We hope this gesture of goodwill will show China that we love them and there is no need for our multi-billion-dollar deal to fall through," said NBA Commissioner Adam Silver. "March on, Mao!" Silver then performed a soft jazz rendition of the tune and bowed low to the ground to show President Xi Jinping that he is very sorry.

Anyone who doesn't comply will be shot, a beloved Chinese custom that should further smooth things over with the authoritarian regime.
Posted by Besoeker 2019-10-10 08:04|| || Front Page|| [11133 views ]  Top
 File under: Commies 

#1 Babylon Bee ... for now
Posted by Warthog 2019-10-10 09:22||   2019-10-10 09:22|| Front Page Top

#2 Who cares? Now if it was the hockey league ...
Posted by g(r)omgoru 2019-10-10 09:31||   2019-10-10 09:31|| Front Page Top

#3 Muslim NBA players to be sent to reeducation camps.
Posted by Chemp Elmart8332 2019-10-10 09:59||   2019-10-10 09:59|| Front Page Top

#4 Bee is brutal.
Posted by swksvolFF 2019-10-10 10:42||   2019-10-10 10:42|| Front Page Top

#5 This was hilarious. I wish the woke could be made to read it.
Posted by Dron66046 2019-10-10 10:49||   2019-10-10 10:49|| Front Page Top

#6 Ha! Caught you this time, you wily rascals.
Posted by JohnQC 2019-10-10 10:59||   2019-10-10 10:59|| Front Page Top

#7 Classic!
But we can expect Life to imitate Bee very soon
Posted by Lex 2019-10-10 11:24||   2019-10-10 11:24|| Front Page Top

#8 The latest news from BeeSPN
Posted by SteveS 2019-10-10 12:03||   2019-10-10 12:03|| Front Page Top

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