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2019-09-19 -Lurid Crime Tales-

Nation's Murderous Psychopaths Undecided On Whether They'll Follow New Gun Laws

[Babylon Bee] WASHINGTON, D.C.‐Democrats such as Beto O’Rourke have proposed a number of new gun laws, such as universal background checks, a ban on magazines that hold more than ten bullets, and possibly even a "mandatory buyback" of some weapons such as AR-15s. While these laws are likely to be a headache for law-abiding gun owners, the nation’s murderous psychopaths aren’t quite certain how the laws will affect them.

"The background check sounds concerning," explained deranged murderer Steve Mason, known as "Murdering Steve" to his friends. "I would definitely fail it since I’m a well-known psychopath. But I’ve never actually purchased a gun through a gun-dealer; I just steal all my murder weapons. And so far no one has proposed a background check on theft, so I think I’m good."

Jake Foster, who is planning a shooting spree, expressed similar concerns about the ban on "high-capacity" magazines. "Having to do a shooting spree and reloading after every tenth shot does sound irritating," said Foster. "Despite the law, I might just use a high-capacity magazine anyway. I guess the question is whether I’m willing to deal with a possible fine on top of the multiple counts of murder."

One law murderous psychopaths did seem excited about was the AR-15 buyback. "If they offer a lot of money for my AR-15, it could be pretty worthwhile," said nutjob Craig McGee. "Then I can use that money to buy more guns just as lethal... but through the black market, of course. Gotta avoid those background checks."

Posted by Besoeker 2019-09-19 02:11|| || Front Page|| [29 views ] Top

#1 Murderous psychopaths approaching a school,intent on committing mass murder: "Oh,wait! We can't go in there with our guns! It's a gun free zone! Let's go somewhere else, like a gun range or a police office!"
/sarcasm

Posted by Rambler in Virginia 2019-09-19 11:45|| 2019-09-19 11:45|| Front Page Top

#2 They also obviously don't stop to think how broken up Alyssa Milano will be if they shoot a bunch of kids.

Posted by M. Murcek 2019-09-19 14:39|| 2019-09-19 14:39|| Front Page Top

07:37 Deacon+Blues
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07:23 Grom the Reflective
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07:15 SteveS
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02:25 badanov
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