Article

2019-01-24 Home Front: Culture Wars

Local Mother Immediately Regrets Asking For Parenting Advice On Facebook

Satire warning
[Babylon Bee] TALLAHASSEE, FL‐Local mother Tiffany Johnson confirmed Wednesday that she immediately regretted asking for parenting advice on Facebook after her newborn baby developed a cough.

The woman requesting advice for treating a sick infant was immediately inundated with MLM sales pitches, passive-aggressive comments, and rants about "big pharma."

"What was I thinking?" she muttered to herself as a friend from church posted a lengthy rant on "gut toxicity." "I've made a huge mistake."

Johnson scrolled through the 57 comments that had been posted so far, wondering why she had ever assumed that the internet would be a good place to seek out information. From judgmental comments suggesting she wasn't a good mother for not using the exact same method that someone else said worked for them to off-topic diatribes about pesticides in our food supply, every comment confirmed that Johnson had done the exact wrong thing by going to Facebook for advice.

"You know what? Next time I'm just gonna call the doctor," she muttered, shaking her head.

At publishing time, the mother had posted that she didn't need any more input, prompting her friends and family to suggest seventeen more surefire remedies to help her daughter.

Posted by Besoeker 2019-01-24 08:06|| || Front Page|| [6 views ] Top

#1 Not really satire. I have read many real FB posts along these very lines. FB is the incarnation of the old joke about a billion monkeys using a billion typewriters to somehow duplicate the works of Shakespeare.

Posted by Anguper Hupomosing9418 2019-01-24 11:43|| 2019-01-24 11:43|| Front Page Top

#2 I was afraid that this was going to be a real story about a woman who asked for parenting help and then had her child seized by CPS because she "couldn't cope".

Posted by Rambler in Virginia 2019-01-24 12:49|| 2019-01-24 12:49|| Front Page Top

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