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2018-10-21 Home Front: Politix

Hillary Clinton Releases DNA Test Results Proving She's Only Half Lizard Person

[Babylon Bee] WASHINGTON, D.C.‐Shortly after Elizabeth Warren released a DNA test that may or may not show that she is 1/1024th Native American, failed presidential candidate and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton showed the results of a recent DNA test that conclusively proved she is only 50% Reptilian.

The test, conducted by a renowned DNA expert, showed that only 50% of her blood comes from reptilian humanoids from space bent on destroying humanity. Many Washington insiders had claimed she was 100% reptile, but these claims are now known to be a hoax.

"I'm happy to announce that I'm only half reptile," she said on an interview Sunday evening. "I hope my critics will think twice before calling me a space reptile now, since that's only half true. I'm only part lizard person, thank you very much."

But she was quick to point out that whether or not she's an earth-conquering reptile is irrelevant, quipping, "What difference, at this point, does it make?"

At publishing time, Clinton had admitted the remainder of her DNA was that of a Cylon.

Posted by Besoeker 2018-10-21 01:42|| || Front Page|| [9 views ] Top

#1 Fake news. She's 100%.

Posted by gorb 2018-10-21 03:13|| 2018-10-21 03:13|| Front Page Top

#2 "I'm happy to announce that I'm only half ~~reptile~~ satan"

Posted by Woodrow 2018-10-21 05:09|| 2018-10-21 05:09|| Front Page Top

#3 in the mid 80s TV show V, the lizard women were really, really good looking when they were impersonating humans

Jane Badler and June Chadwick were gorgeous and when they tangled, wow

I loved this show particularly because it turned some templates upside down. The baddies were beautiful and nicely dressed; the goodies were ordinary looking and poorly dressed. Also the military commanders who always sought a military solution were women and the diplomatic leaders who always sought a sophisticated espionage or non military solution were always men.

Posted by lord garth 2018-10-21 07:58|| 2018-10-21 07:58|| Front Page Top

#4 I would have thought she wasn't a DNA based lifeform, so a DNA test on her would show nothing at all. 2 actual recent DNA tests I have been involved in showed just that - no DNA in saliva available to be tested. Both tests were repeated with same results.

Posted by Anguper Hupomosing9418 2018-10-21 10:32|| 2018-10-21 10:32|| Front Page Top

#5 ..and here I thought it was half hyena.

Posted by Procopius2k 2018-10-21 11:59|| 2018-10-21 11:59|| Front Page Top

#6 To be more specific: Hila(ry) Monster.

Posted by Kojo Oppressor of the Heathen Rus8056 2018-10-21 14:29|| 2018-10-21 14:29|| Front Page Top

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