Article

2010-10-25 Britain

Ozzy Osbourne the Caveman: Rockers DNA linked to stone age

BAT-munching rocker Ozzy Osbourne is officially a caveman. Scientists who mapped his genes found he was linked to the Neanderthals and has a body programmed for booze.

The Black Sabbath singer is one of the first people in the world to have tests to unravel his DNA. They also revealed he was related to Romans who died in Pompeii when the volcano Vesuvius erupted almost 2,000 years ago.

Ozzy, 61, was told he was part- Neanderthal just months after experts first proved the primitive race had bred with humans.

He said: "That won't come as much of a surprise to the missus, or various police departments around the world. This is big news for blokes everywhere, if the Neanderthals could get laid, there's hope for us all."

He also joked about sharing DNA with the Vesuvius victims. "If any of the Roman Osbournes drank nearly as much as I used to, they wouldn't have even felt the lava. They could have just walked it off."

The results showed Ozzy was 6.13 times more likely than the average person to get hooked on booze and 1.31 times more prone to cocaine addiction. Doctors found a twist in a gene that means he can soak up more alcohol than most.

But the former addict joked: "I used to drink four bottles of Cognac a day. "I'm not sure I need a Harvard scientist to get to the bottom of that mystery."

Posted by tipper 2010-10-25 02:03|| || Front Page|| [11134 views ] Top

#1 Question is, is he or the caveman more coherent?

Drinking to excess, so easy a caveman could do it?

Posted by OldSpook 2010-10-25 08:17|| 2010-10-25 08:17|| Front Page Top

#2 Drinking to excess, so easy a caveman could do it?

Beer is a very efficient way to absorb a large amount of calories, and the Neanderthals apparently required more than twice the caloric intake of Homo sapiens sapiens. Under the circumstances, it would be useful that it took quite a lot of alcohol to become drunk. Someone like me would have starved in the midst of plenty, as I lay in an alcohol-induced coma while the rest of the tribe continued ingesting their alcoholic fuel.

Posted by trailing wife 2010-10-25 08:39|| 2010-10-25 08:39|| Front Page Top

#3 The man was also is what many would call a swinger.
He would then be a chimp off the old block or he may let the chimps fall where they lay. He certainly has a chimp on his shoulder.

Posted by Dale 2010-10-25 09:02|| 2010-10-25 09:02|| Front Page Top

#4 There are stories of various species of monkeys and apes seeking out the possibility to get drunk. Perhaps it's not just in Mr. Osbourne's genes.

Posted by trailing wife 2010-10-25 10:56|| 2010-10-25 10:56|| Front Page Top

#5 ...if the Neanderthals could get laid, there's hope for us all.

That's my Ozzy.

Posted by DarthVader 2010-10-25 11:30|| 2010-10-25 11:30|| Front Page Top

#6 This is news?

Posted by Mike 2010-10-25 15:42|| 2010-10-25 15:42|| Front Page Top

#7 YAY, ALL MUST KNEEL BEFORE THE GREAT GOD OF OZZ!

OZ-Z-Z-Z-I-E [ior Ron Jeremy].....WE'RE NOT WORTHY, WE'RE NOT WORTHY!

That is all.

Posted by JosephMendiola 2010-10-25 19:02|| 2010-10-25 19:02|| Front Page Top

09:11 Mercutio
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08:24 Matt
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07:31 Procopius2k
07:30 NN2N1
07:22 NN2N1
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07:14 Richard Aubrey
07:10 NN2N1
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07:03 NN2N1
06:58 NN2N1
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05:28 Whiskey Mike
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