(2006-09-23) — United Nations authorities are probing a possible link between reports that al Qaeda leader Usama Bin Laden died recently and the peculiar sulfur smell which Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez said he detected while speaking to the U.N. General Assembly this week.

Mr. Chavez attributed the aroma to the recent appearance at the podium of “the devil,” a term of endearment for U.S. President George Bush, but chemical experts at the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) said it now seems more likely that “someone split Hell wide open recently, permitting the noxious fumes to escape.”

A French publication, L’Est Republicain, today quoted a leaked secret service memo dated September 21 which indicated that Saudi sources believe Mr. Bin Laden died in Pakistan on August 23 of typhoid fever.

An unnamed journalism expert said the fact that the Bin Laden death report was leaked should provide sufficient evidence of its reliability, but the involvement of France and Saudi Arabia makes it “a slam dunk.”

As the rumor that Usama Bin Laden is dead spread worldwide, the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) began gearing up to provide massive disaster relief in the so-called ‘blue states’ where FEMA expects members of the Democrat party will be hardest hit.