Article

2006-03-23 Science & Technology

From a source that I've generally found to be better than CBS.

Weekly World News is one of my favorites ...

America's military arsenal includes a deadly new weapon: Submarine-like craft that travel underground instead of underwater! Dubbed Subterranean Underground Vehicles, or SUVs, 14 of the top-secret vessels are already roving far beneath the sands of Iran, poised to launch a surprise attack if it becomes necessary to overthrow the rogue regime.

"They're mega-gasguzzlers until the new Hybrid models come out, but that's no problem since they clandestinely tap into Iran's oil wells," said a reliable Pentagon source. "SUVs are already in place near Iraq's most strategically important cities -- including Tehran, Hamadan, Bakhtaran and Mashad. The White House is hoping diplomacy will persuade Iran to abandon its nuclear program. But if President Bush gives the word, elite troops aboard those craft could emerge and easily overrun Iran's unprepared defensive forces."

Each SUV's nose is equipped with powerful drills capable of boring through solid granite and the craft's six giant, retractable digging claws allow it to tunnel like a mole. Under farmland, the vehicles can travel 20 miles a day. "Under sand, they're faster -- capable of slithering up to 45 m.p.h.," the insider said. The source refused to provide details of the highly classified technology. But he warned: "If Iranian officials don't play ball with Uncle Sam they'll face dire consequences."
Did you think this article was about CHevy Suburbans?

Posted by Jackal 2006-03-23 00:00|| || Front Page|| [11139 views since 2007-05-07] Top

#1 IOW, mobile robotic Borers/Pile Drivers that explode.

Posted by JosephMendiola 2006-03-23 00:14|| 2006-03-23 00:14|| Front Page Top

#2 This article is not as 'out there' as it might appear. Well, OK, parts of it are. But the idea of a weapon that bores into the ground is sound and certainly technically feasible, at least in sand and loose soils.

Mines (in the original sense of the word) for a very long time were the most effective weapon against defensive structures and arguably still are. An autonomous device that bores into the ground beneath structures before detonating has doubtless been experimented with and even made to work.

Posted by phil_b">phil_b 2006-03-23 00:33|| http://autonomousoperation.blogspot.com/]">[http://autonomousoperation.blogspot.com/] 2006-03-23 00:33|| Front Page Top

#3 Land sharks.

Posted by ed 2006-03-23 01:04|| 2006-03-23 01:04|| Front Page Top

#4 SUVs thaings

have these out in the back yard, called Greater Pacifica Bull Gophers.

Posted by RD 2006-03-23 01:11|| 2006-03-23 01:11|| Front Page Top

#5 But the idea of a weapon that bores into the ground is sound and certainly technically feasible, at least in sand and loose soils.

I seem to recall Britain researching such a vehicle during WWI, with the idea that it could tunnel (or maybe just dig a trench) over to the enemy's trenchline.

Posted by Robert Crawford">Robert Crawford 2006-03-23 07:33|| http://www.kloognome.com/]">[http://www.kloognome.com/] 2006-03-23 07:33|| Front Page Top

#6 Sounds like The Mole aka Thunderbird 6.

Posted by Steve">Steve 2006-03-23 08:16|| 2006-03-23 08:16|| Front Page Top

#7 Yep, and it's still there under France.
The clay was plastic enough to ooze in around the borer and trap it, written off as a failure and left as it could not be recovered.

Posted by Redneck Jim 2006-03-23 08:26|| 2006-03-23 08:26|| Front Page Top

#8 Taste our pain bitches

Posted by bgrebel9 2006-03-23 08:54|| 2006-03-23 08:54|| Front Page Top

#9 Manufactured at a secret Alabama assemply plant believed to be owned by Home Depot, two eight hour production shifts of Evangelical Christians and seasonally employed Amish man the assembly lines. Production is well ahead of schedule. Field testing in both Cuba and Venezuela is on-going.

Posted by Besoeker 2006-03-23 09:13|| 2006-03-23 09:13|| Front Page Top

#10 Subterranean Underground - WTF
How about Redundantly Named Vehicles?

Posted by Spot">Spot 2006-03-23 09:41|| 2006-03-23 09:41|| Front Page Top

#11 Tremors!!

Posted by bk 2006-03-23 10:41|| 2006-03-23 10:41|| Front Page Top

#12 Nah, they're reverse-engineered from captured ChiCom equipment in the late Sixties.

Posted by Mitch H.">Mitch H. 2006-03-23 13:00|| http://blogfonte.blogspot.com/]">[http://blogfonte.blogspot.com/] 2006-03-23 13:00|| Front Page Top

#13 Great line from the review of your linked movie, Mitch H.:

If the effects stink they are fragrant compared to the plot.

Almost as good as Joe Bob's:

No plot to get in the way of the action.

Posted by Zenster 2006-03-23 15:17|| 2006-03-23 15:17|| Front Page Top

09:43 Mullah Richard
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