Article

2023-01-12 Government Corruption

Military To End Vax Mandate Now That All The Conservatives Have Been Weeded Out

[BEE] U.S. — Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin has officially reversed the COVID vaccine requirement for the military, as it is no longer needed now that all the Conservatives have been weeded out.

"This vaccine was a great success in helping us eliminate anyone who valued freedom, thought critically, or voted Republican," said Austin. "Now that those pesky conservatives have been forcibly removed from our military, we can finally move forward in our sacred mission of promoting diversity, equity, and inclusion around the world! Also, bombing kids in Yemen. Can't forget that."

Authorities at the Pentagon are now confident they have a completely obedient, sufficiently woke fighting force capable of any mission, as long as the mission doesn't include prolonged, strenuous activity which seems to be causing people's hearts to explode for some reason. "Our military has never been stronger!" said Austin as he left for his weekly blood clot-removal procedure at the hospital.

At publishing time, the Navy had also started playing Elton John 24/7 on bases and ships to weed out the rest of the straight males.

Posted by Besoeker 2023-01-12 08:27|| || Front Page|| [11134 views ] Top

#1 Scathing when the Bee is Not Satire.

Posted by mossomo 2023-01-12 12:50|| 2023-01-12 12:50|| Front Page Top

#2 Ouch.

Posted by swksvolFF 2023-01-12 15:00|| 2023-01-12 15:00|| Front Page Top

#3 Deadline Passes For Pfizer To Submit Results Of Post-Vaccination Heart Inflammation Study To US Regulators

Posted by Skidmark 2023-01-12 15:17|| 2023-01-12 15:17|| Front Page Top

#4 Think I saw Biden re-extended The Covid Emergency, which I'm sure suspends any such deadlines or otherwise bad news.

Posted by swksvolFF 2023-01-12 15:37|| 2023-01-12 15:37|| Front Page Top

Posted by Skidmark 2023-01-12 16:07|| 2023-01-12 16:07|| Front Page Top

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