Article

2020-10-15 Government

ACB Calmly Answers Questions While Typing Up Appellate Court Decision And Cooking Dinner For 9

[Babylon Bee] WASHINGTON, D.C.—It was quite a spectacle at the Senate hearing for Amy Coney Barrett's nomination to the Supreme Court this morning, as Judge Barrett calmly answered the committee's questions while cooking dinner for her family of nine with her right hand and typing up an appellate court decision with her left hand.

"That's a great question, Senator, thank you for asking," she responded to one line of questioning as she chopped up onions to put them in her stew. "Sorry if I'm crying during my response -- it's just the onions." She eloquently answered the inquiry while moving on to skinning the potatoes, simultaneously typing up a 50-page decision for the Seventh Court of Appeals with her other hand.

At publishing time, Judge Barrett had gotten out her knitting.

RBG must be spinning at warp speed somewhere on Arlington about now.

Posted by Besoeker 2020-10-15 00:00|| || Front Page|| [11142 views ] Top

#1 RBG was heard to say, "Yes, I wanted a woman to replace me, just not a real woman."

Posted by AlmostAnonymous5839 2020-10-15 02:16|| 2020-10-15 02:16|| Front Page Top

#2 Hard heart at the weighing of merit:
"I wonder just who might inherit--"
'All rise!" A red toque.
The accused makes a joke:
"So, it's you, Amy 'Nuremberg' Barrett!"
"Approach the bench, b----!"
"Only if i can punch ya!"
[much kickboxing ensues, ending when RBG brains ACB with smuggled bike lock]

Posted by Hupolunter Turkeyneck1559 2020-10-15 18:45|| 2020-10-15 18:45|| Front Page Top

00:56 Rex Mundi
00:26 Oregon Dave