Article

2019-09-21 -Lurid Crime Tales-

SUV barrels through shopping mall in Chicago suburb, driver arrested

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Posted by Skidmark 2019-09-21 04:47|| || Front Page|| [5 views ] Top

#1 This is about the Ivana Trump clothing line isn't it?

Posted by Procopius2k 2019-09-21 07:32|| 2019-09-21 07:32|| Front Page Top

#2 He said that as he took a picture, "All of a sudden the tact team came in with assault rifles and yelling, `Get out, get out, get out of the mall."

Geeze, it's getting so you can even drive through the mall without the cops worrying about a mass murder.

Posted by Bobby 2019-09-21 08:02|| 2019-09-21 08:02|| Front Page Top

#3 You shoulda seen Shep Smith covering this like it was the second 9/11. He was talking live to a guy who works in the mall and the guy says we're okay we're inside the mall. Shep had to tell his onsite source the SUV was inside the mall too. It's was hoot!

Posted by jpal 2019-09-21 09:04|| 2019-09-21 09:04|| Front Page Top

#4 He had a half pack of smokes, full tank of gas and sunglasses. Time to go on a mission for God.

Posted by AlmostAnonymous5839 2019-09-21 11:08|| 2019-09-21 11:08|| Front Page Top

#5 Once again my Comedic Theory of History is vindicated. The basic concept is that the most outrageous comedies of past years' become Solemn Standard Operating Procedure as time passes.

Consider Groucho's opening song in Duck Soup, 'No one's allowed to smoke, or tell a dirty joke, and whistling is prohibited...' Actually whistling is obsolete, but 2 out of 3 remain valid.

Consider Blazing Saddles wherein the new sheriff takes himself hostage. Known better in modern times as the low speed OJ chase when one of the largest metro areas on earth was brought to a stand still for, well, let's just say far less comic effect.

Of course 'Animal House' gave us abundant fodder for modern life. Probably the most common is the now famous 'Animal House Defense', a nearly incomprehensible line of reasoning that accuses the accusers and refuses to stand idly by while they conduct themselves in that fashion.

Now we have achieved a Blues Brothers re-enactor. Splendid. Of course whatever else may be known about his case he absolutely MUST be taken seriously. Old comedies may be the only reliable sage and source for what lies ahead.

Posted by Cesare 2019-09-21 11:42|| 2019-09-21 11:42|| Front Page Top

#6 They were on a mission from God.

Posted by jpal 2019-09-21 20:10|| 2019-09-21 20:10|| Front Page Top

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