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2019-05-25 -Short Attention Span Theater-

Ocasio-Cortez shares panicked reaction to DC tornado warning on Instagram

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Posted by Fred 2019-05-25 00:00|| || Front Page|| [6 views ] Top

#1 Or garbage disposals. Or working synapses. Or when people are already outside you get them inside not out. Sheesh! Wotta maroon!

Posted by AlmostAnonymous5839 2019-05-25 02:46|| 2019-05-25 02:46|| Front Page Top

#2 "Guys ! It's the planes flying around that are churning up the wind ! We have to ban air travel fast ! There can be no waiting."

Posted by Dron66046 2019-05-25 04:45|| 2019-05-25 04:45|| Front Page Top

#3 And the wind farms, sucking energy out of the climate-distribution system [wind]!!

Posted by Bobby 2019-05-25 08:39|| 2019-05-25 08:39|| Front Page Top

#4 "Oh no, there’s people stuck outside. We need to get them out,"

So they're outside. What would be "out" from there? Out of the atmosphere? Out of the solar system?

Posted by M. Murcek 2019-05-25 10:07|| 2019-05-25 10:07|| Front Page Top

#5 First of all, there "ARE" people outside, NOT, "there IS" people outside.

Secondly, anyone who has lived in the Midwest for any length of time knows how to act in a tornado. Perhaps AOC would like to live in, say, Kansas City for a while?

Posted by Tom 2019-05-25 11:12|| 2019-05-25 11:12|| Front Page Top

#6 Out here we just shoot at the tornado until it goes away.

And if it gets too close, we throw liquor bottles at it.

Did you know that if you take a empty 12 pack of cans, run some fishing string through them, and hang it from the mail box....when its blowing sideways, there is a tornado in the area? Y'all from the cities don't laugh, because sometimes they hide behind trees.

It didn't use to be this way. Used to be a tornado would land, walk a bit, and take off. Since climate change, tornadoes have become very aggressive, and like graboids, tend to charge portable structures like mobile homes. What we do is get together with our neighbors and we each place a mobile home in the same area to steer a tornado away from the crops. Obviously in a food desert like Jefferson City, there is not enough room to do this trick, mostly because of gentrification and colonialism; there is absolutely zero evidence of any tornadoes during the Cahokian culture until Christianity was introduced.

Now if for some reason you find yourself trying to get through Kansas as fast as you can, but run into a storm or take the 'wrong exit' and end up i a saloon, y'all want to try to blend in cause we can smell soap from across the street. Don't order a tornado shot; sambuca is something we only say round here when we bang against the trailer hitch. Order a turkey 101 with a hot sauce backer, curz lite chaser. Say it like that or you are a dead givaway for a loafer wearin' yawrker.

Posted by swksvolFF 2019-05-25 11:32|| 2019-05-25 11:32|| Front Page Top

#7 If she ever encountered a dust devil, she would probably pee in her panties (if New Yorkers wear panties).

Posted by Varmint Splat1454 2019-05-25 18:18|| 2019-05-25 18:18|| Front Page Top

#8 KS, there's a LOT of wisdom in that!

Posted by Skidmark 2019-05-25 21:48|| 2019-05-25 21:48|| Front Page Top

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