Article

2008-08-23 Syria-Lebanon-Iran

Archived material is restricted to Rantburg regulars and members. If you need access email fred.pruitt=at=gmail.com with your nick to be added to the members list. There is no charge to join Rantburg as a member.

Posted by Fred 2008-08-23 00:00|| || Front Page|| [6 views ] Top
File under: Govt of Iran

#1 "In a part one of the drills, a legion of the army was moved from a region to another in quickest possible manner," he expounded.

Posted by gorb 2008-08-23 02:12|| 2008-08-23 02:12|| Front Page Top

#2 I have secret intercepts of these exercises from satellites and black helicopters and NSA Tesla antennas mounted on invisible UFO based planes. Here is what I got leaked, eat your heart out NY Times!

//S E C R E T/HVCCO/REL NATO//
//030827:0917Z-UFO//
//FROM: FIELD STATION ZEBRA//
//TO: ALLCON//
//SRC: HALLIBURTON PHONETAP-O-MATIC//

//TRANSCRIPT BEGIN//

/0918Z/COL FARID/: Hey Mahmoud /OC: BELCH HERE/ I mean Colonel Rashid, I am shtarting to move to /OC: BELCH HERE/ Bandar Abbash with a motorised /OC: HICCUP HERE/ infantry battalion like US /OC: SAID YOO ESH/ marinesh.

/OC: SPEECH SLURRED. POSS REF BANDAR ABBAS, US MARINES/

/0919Z/COL RASHID/: Roger that Colonel Farid. I am pretending to assault with my 1000 man platoon of Basij across your front. Hey Abdul, remember that good deal we got with the Japanese last year? My Basij are not only armed with plastic keys to paradise, but they now have improved sharp knives to cut the infidel's throats thanks to Ginsu. Abdul? Hello? Did Abdul leave the conference call again?

/0921Z/OC: SILENCE/

/0922Z/UI VOICE POSS RASHID/:Yooohoo sleeping beauty wake up /OC:YELLING LAST TWO WORDS/

/0922Z/OC: POSS SNORING SNDS INTERRUPTED WITH STARTLE/

/0923Z/GEN ABDUL/: Yes, I am here.

/0925Z/OC: APPARENT MULTIPLE DICE ROLLING AND ABRUPT STOP WITH MUFFLED WORD. BELIEVE TO BE "FINALLY"/

/0925Z/GEN ABDUL/:Farid, your marines are all dead. Allah has provided the presi... /OC: TRAIL OFF AND CLEARS THROAT/ Colonel Rashid with a roll of 12 to hit and destroy each of the US marines and vehicles by our Stealth Iranian Holy forces with only 97 precent casualties to the Basij!

/0926Z/*MIXED VOICES*/: Allah Ahkbar! Allah Ahkbar! The infidel Americans will surely die when they invade. /OC: ALL YELLING/

/0927Z/OC UI VOICE POSS FARID CONT INCOHERENT FOR 3 ADDTL MINUTES/

/0930Z/GEN ABDUL/: Lets call it a day, its been a hectic hour, and its almost time for prayers. All should be back on this conference call tomorrow but later, say one-ish, since I know Colonel Rashid has a date, I mean late night working tonight. President Ahmadine..., I mean Colonel Rashid, tomorrow you can call me and then I will three-way in Colonel Farid for you. Also, Colonel, umm, Rashid, we need to use your copy of Panzerblitz for this - I lost some of the German counters out of my box today to the cat.

/OC: REF PANZERBLITZ (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PanzerBlitz)/

/0932Z/GEN ABDUL/:Finally, Colonel Farid, this time remember to hang up! The Mullahs are going to whip us for the phone bill as it is. Allah Ahkbar and long live the President!

/0932Z/COL RASHID/:Thanks - and long live our secret nuclear weapons! Abdul, remember to give Farid the latest pirated photoshop you have, we need some pictures of this for the western press.

/0932Z/GEN ABDUL/:Will Do, goodbye sir.

/0932Z/COL RASHID/: Toodles.

/0932Z/COL RASHID/DISCONNECTED
/0932Z/GEN HAFEZ/DISCONNECTED
/0933Z/COL FARID 5 MIN LIGHT SNORING MUMBLING. POSS WORDS "SHORTY" "MIDGET" "DINNER JACKET"/
/0938Z/SIGNAL LOST/
//TRANSCRIPT ENDS//
//OC: COL FARID POSS INEBRIATED BASED ON SPCH CHARS//
//1 OF 1//
//S E C R E T/HVCCO/REL NATO//

Posted by OldSpook 2008-08-23 02:30|| 2008-08-23 02:30|| Front Page Top

#3 I vote yay on adding this to the classics.

Posted by Mike N. 2008-08-23 04:19|| 2008-08-23 04:19|| Front Page Top

#4 o/Panzer~~Bush~~Blitz

Posted by .5MT 2008-08-23 07:24|| www.cybernations.net]">[www.cybernations.net] 2008-08-23 07:24|| Front Page Top

23:30 Jolutch Mussolini7800
23:20 Jolutch Mussolini7800
23:18 European Conservative
23:17 penguin
23:12 Sherry
23:00 European Conservative
22:57 ed
22:47 European Conservative
22:46 Jolutch Mussolini7800
22:46 ed
22:42 Jolutch Mussolini7800
22:34 European Conservative
22:33 ed
22:30 sane_european_old_white_guy
22:24 Frank G
22:22 Frank G
22:20 Jolutch Mussolini7800
22:15 sane_european_old_white_guy
22:15 European Conservative
22:11 ed
22:07 Frank G
22:05 Frank G
22:04 ed
22:01 KBK