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2008-05-07 -Short Attention Span Theater-
Sweden: Matilda, 4, bitten by beaver - vows vengeance
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Posted by mrp 2008-05-07 07:32|| || Front Page|| [11132 views ]  Top

#1 Dam that beaver!
Posted by Mike 2008-05-07 09:45||   2008-05-07 09:45|| Front Page Top

#2 Biting beavers...every mans nightmare!
Posted by Beldar Sneanter7589 2008-05-07 10:36||   2008-05-07 10:36|| Front Page Top

#3 Somehow thinking of a fatwah against beavers makes me giggle.
Posted by DarthVader">DarthVader  2008-05-07 10:53||   2008-05-07 10:53|| Front Page Top

#4 What kind of dumbass father stands 30 feet back to film his infant daughter molesting a wild animal?
Posted by Scooter McGruder 2008-05-07 12:07||   2008-05-07 12:07|| Front Page Top

#5 "My sister was bitten by a moose beaver once..."

Naw. just doesn't sing.

Mike
Posted by Mike Kozlowski 2008-05-07 12:57||   2008-05-07 12:57|| Front Page Top

#6 Moral To the Story: Only Pet Friendly BEAVERS!
Posted by RD">RD  2008-05-07 13:11||   2008-05-07 13:11|| Front Page Top

#7 They spotted the beaver at the side of the road and the girl decided it would be fun to pet the animal, newspaper Östersunds-Posten reports.

But the beaver had other ideas and quickly lunged at the girl. The attack was filmed by the girl's father, Marcus Handler, who was standing ten metres away.

"What I was seeing through the camera seemed unreal. I just screamed 'no, no' and rushed towards Matilda. Then the beaver started attacking me instead but I managed to jump out of the way and grab hold of Matilda," he told the Östersunds-Posten newspaper.

With his daughter bleeding profusely from one of her wrists and one of her thighs, Handler flagged down a passing car and had the girl taken to a nearby clinic for treatment.




The beaver can stand on its hind legs and balance with its flat tail to chew wood and gnaw bark. It holds the wood with its upper teeth and chews the wood with its lower teeth.

While most mammals use calcium to coat their teeth, beavers use iron. Iron makes beavers' teeth not only orange-colored, but also exceptionally strong. Hence, beavers have no problem using their teeth to cut down trees.

The Beaver's teeth do grow all the life of the beaver because gnawing wood wears the teeth down.
Posted by RD">RD  2008-05-07 13:22||   2008-05-07 13:22|| Front Page Top

#8 OK I just gotta ask, "How do you tell if that particular Beaver is friendly"?
And yes I got the double meaning there.
Posted by Redneck Jim">Redneck Jim  2008-05-07 13:22||   2008-05-07 13:22|| Front Page Top

#9 Bitten by a radioactive Beaver, Matilda aquired the super powers of a Beaver. As Beaver Girl, Matilda fights crime by .... chewing trees ... and building dams ... and slapping evildoers with her tail.
Posted by Formerly Dan 2008-05-07 13:48||   2008-05-07 13:48|| Front Page Top

#10 That's what I get for reading these late: all the good snarks are taken.

But hidden in this story just has to be a contry western song; I went into the bush to pet the beaver and she bit me......
Posted by USN, Ret. 2008-05-07 14:46||   2008-05-07 14:46|| Front Page Top

#11 So....if Al Gore is made of wood....and Beaver Girl is nearby, does she slap him with her tail or chew his legs off?

Inquiring minds need brain bleaching and therapy.
Posted by Silentbrick">Silentbrick  2008-05-07 15:42||   2008-05-07 15:42|| Front Page Top

#12 Therefore Al Gore's a witch!
Posted by Bright Pebbles 2008-05-07 16:40||   2008-05-07 16:40|| Front Page Top

#13 Matilda said she would "sword it with a sword".

The name Matilda means "strength in battle" from Germanic maht "might, strength" and hild "battle".

That beaver better take care not to meet Matilda again.
Posted by Gladys 2008-05-07 17:00||   2008-05-07 17:00|| Front Page Top

#14 Jeff Foxworthy told a story he swears is true abot a woman telling him her brother-in-law had a nipple bitten off by a beaver.
Posted by Deacon Blues">Deacon Blues  2008-05-07 17:18||   2008-05-07 17:18|| Front Page Top

#15 BEAVER > "Has to roll his own cigarettes, has 100 kids, and Wife has no nylons"???

D *** NG, twas the HEDGEHOG in LOONEY TOONS.
Posted by JosephMendiola 2008-05-07 19:08||   2008-05-07 19:08|| Front Page Top

23:58 JosephMendiola
23:52 JosephMendiola
23:28 USN,Ret.
23:27 Jan
23:25 Shieldwolf
23:21 USN,Ret.
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23:14 JosephMendiola
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