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2008-02-01 -Lurid Crime Tales-
Zombie attacks might increase due to global warming, study shows
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Posted by Atomic Conspiracy 2008-02-01 05:53|| || Front Page|| [11129 views ]  Top

#1 Expect hordes of them to show up to vote in the Democratic primaries.

Be prepared-Zombie warning poster
Poster: Coping with zombie attack
Zombie Emergency Defense Station.

Posted by Atomic Conspiracy 2008-02-01 06:12||   2008-02-01 06:12|| Front Page Top

#2 The pair calculated a 32.782412% increase in zombie attacks if CO2 increased

Lotta researchers would round that off to 33%. The fact that they didn't here shows me these guys are serious, responsible, researchers. Any doubt of the methodology is gone, and I, for one, welcome our new Zombie overlords
Posted by Frank G">Frank G  2008-02-01 07:50||   2008-02-01 07:50|| Front Page Top

#3 Damn - I guess White Zombie isn't reuniting after all...
Posted by Raj 2008-02-01 08:28||   2008-02-01 08:28|| Front Page Top

#4 How could cold weather freeze their brains? I thought zombies didn't have brains - that's what they're trying to steal from the living. Some zombie experts...
Posted by Spot">Spot  2008-02-01 09:33||   2008-02-01 09:33|| Front Page Top

#5 Study Reveals Pittsburgh Unprepared For Full-Scale Zombie Attack
Posted by anonymous5089 2008-02-01 10:06||   2008-02-01 10:06|| Front Page Top

#6 On the other hand it is well known that vampires are less active when weather is warm.
Posted by JFM">JFM  2008-02-01 10:12||   2008-02-01 10:12|| Front Page Top

#7 Global Warming causes liberals? Oh now I get it.
Posted by Icerigger 2008-02-01 11:36|| coonlakebeach.com]">[coonlakebeach.com]  2008-02-01 11:36|| Front Page Top

#8 Two words. Al Gore. I hereby declare this study as gospel!
Posted by tu3031 2008-02-01 11:40||   2008-02-01 11:40|| Front Page Top

#9 Actually we have a huge zombie problem on Coon Lake Beach.

Despite our best efforts Al Gore has never responed to our pleas for help.
Posted by Icerigger 2008-02-01 13:04|| coonlakebeach.com]">[coonlakebeach.com]  2008-02-01 13:04|| Front Page Top

#10 The theory this study is based upon is that zombies are not warm blooded and the colder weather causes issues with their mobility. Blood pools in the feet without a heart pumping it around and if that blood were to freeze, well you might not be able to walk around much with frozen stumps for feet.
Posted by rjschwarz 2008-02-01 17:34||   2008-02-01 17:34|| Front Page Top

#11 Umbrella Corporation (UMBC) futures positive after zombie study.
Posted by flash91 2008-02-01 18:49||   2008-02-01 18:49|| Front Page Top

#12 BIBLE TEACHING > And the dead shall come out of their graves...

IOW, GLOBAL WARMING/COOLING = THE SUN/SOLAR RADIATION-ENERGY = SUN RE-/SUPER-RADIATING THE DEAD???

GASP, HORROR, SHOCK, I say > dare DAY AFTER TOMORROW de facto lied to us when it said "SOLAR OUTPUT IS NORMAL"???
Posted by JosephMendiola 2008-02-01 20:17||   2008-02-01 20:17|| Front Page Top

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