Article

2007-02-26 -Lurid Crime Tales-

Iranian MPs enraged over test accused of mocking Muhammad

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Posted by Zenster 2007-02-26 18:30|| || Front Page|| [11142 views since 2007-05-07] Top

#1 1) Mohammed, Jesus and Abraham walk into a bar. Jesus orders a tequila sunrise, Abraham orders a gin and tonic. What does Mohammed do?

a) Order a pina colada.
b) Hit on the waitress.
c) Play darts and cheat.
d) Behead everyone and burn down the bar for serving alcohol.

2) Mohammed enters the women's restroom by mistake, and sees another man's wife without her veil. What does he do?

a) Kill her for tempting him.
b) Kill all the women in the restroom.
c) Kill all the women in the building.
d) Go to the men's room and masturbate furiously.
e) All of the above, but not in that order.

Posted by Anonymoose 2007-02-26 19:00|| 2007-02-26 19:00|| Front Page Top

#2 My take on this is that the teachers were not mocking the Prophet. Since the biography, the central theme of the test, had a strong focus on personal characteristics - including hygiene, physical appearance and eating habits of the Prophet, whoever wrote and administered the exam was most likely mocking Ayatollah Tabatabai and the idiot mullah(s) who designated his biography for testing knowledge. Riots in the streets of Karachi and Islamabad in 1-- 2-- 3--

Posted by GK 2007-02-26 19:22|| 2007-02-26 19:22|| Front Page Top

#3 Good lord. And in the Guardian, no less. Good catch, Zenster.

Posted by trailing wife 2007-02-26 19:26|| 2007-02-26 19:26|| Front Page Top

#4 I think the MPs don't realize that studying Mo's habits are vital to being a proper muslim. These questions are not even close to being the most yukky things discussed in the hadith.

To my recollection, there are several passages in the hadith about how Mo wiped your butt, whether you should use sand afterward, etc. There are several about which breast he fondled first for various wives at various times.

Posted by mhw 2007-02-26 20:31|| 2007-02-26 20:31|| Front Page Top

#5 Reads more like a Kiddie Primer - no wonder the MPs are po'ed.

Posted by JosephMendiola 2007-02-26 20:45|| 2007-02-26 20:45|| Front Page Top

#6 here's one yukky hadith (from faithfreedom)

Ibn Abbas, reported: The Prophet of Allaah (sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam) came out of the privy after relieving himself, and food was brought to him and he took it, and did not touch water. In another narration transmitted by Sa'id b. al-Huwairith it is like this: It was said to the Prophet of Allaah (sallAllaahu alayhi wa sallam) You have not performed ablution. He said: I do not intend to say prayer that I should perform ablution.

وَحَدَّثَنِي مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ عَمْرِو بْنِ عَبَّادِ بْنِ جَبَلَةَ، حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو عَاصِمٍ، عَنِ ابْنِ جُرَيْجٍ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنَا سَعِيدُ بْنُ حُوَيْرِثٍ، أَنَّهُ سَمِعَ ابْنَ عَبَّاسٍ، يَقُولُ إِنَّ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَضَى حَاجَتَهُ مِنَ الْخَلاَءِ فَقُرِّبَ إِلَيْهِ طَعَامٌ فَأَكَلَ وَلَمْ يَمَسَّ مَاءً ‏.‏ قَالَ وَزَادَنِي عَمْرُو بْنُ دِينَارٍ عَنْ سَعِيدِ بْنِ الْحُوَيْرِثِ أَنَّ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قِيلَ لَهُ إِنَّكَ لَمْ تَوَضَّأْ قَالَ ‏"‏ مَا أَرَدْتُ صَلاَةً فَأَتَوَضَّأَ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ وَزَعَمَ عَمْرٌو أَنَّهُ سَمِعَ مِنْ سَعِيدِ بْنِ الْحُوَيْرِثِ ‏.

here's another

Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allaah (way peace he upon him) said: When anyone performs ablution he must clean his nose and when anyone wipes himself with pebbles (after answering the call of nature) he must do that odd number of times.
حَدَّثَنَا يَحْيَى بْنُ يَحْيَى، قَالَ قَرَأْتُ عَلَى مَالِكٍ عَنِ ابْنِ شِهَابٍ، عَنْ أَبِي إِدْرِيسَ الْخَوْلاَنِيِّ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَا
لَ ‏"‏ مَنْ تَوَضَّأَ فَلْيَسْتَنْثِرْ وَمَنِ اسْتَجْمَرَ
فَلْيُوتِرْ ‏"‏ ‏

Posted by mhw 2007-02-26 21:06|| 2007-02-26 21:06|| Front Page Top

#7 One less offensive question, reproduced by local newspapers and websites, lists four choices when asking how Muhammad compared himself with the prophet Joseph. They are: "A) I am more beautiful than Joseph; B) Joseph is more beautiful than me; C) I am cuter than Joseph; D) Joseph is more beautiful than me but I am cuter than him."

So I take it Mo was a gay high school student?

Posted by tu3031 2007-02-26 22:38|| 2007-02-26 22:38|| Front Page Top

#8 Always good stuff, Zenster.

Posted by Phineter Thraviger 2007-02-26 22:58|| 2007-02-26 22:58|| Front Page Top

#9 I must say that's the nicest photo of Ahmadinejad I've seen.

Posted by Gladys 2007-02-26 23:12|| 2007-02-26 23:12|| Front Page Top

23:51 Zenster
23:25 gromgoru
23:22 gromgoru
23:21 trailing wife
23:12 Gladys
23:09 Ricky bin Ricardo (Abu Babaloo)
23:05 C-Low
23:05 whatadeal
22:58 Phineter Thraviger
22:56 USN, ret.
22:50 tu3031
22:48 DMFD
22:48 tu3031
22:45 DMFD
22:42 USN, ret.
22:40 DMFD
22:38 USN, ret.
22:38 tu3031
22:36 DMFD
22:32 badanov
22:31 USN, ret.
22:31 DMFD
22:14 twobyfour
22:02 Shipman