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2006-07-24 -Short Attention Span Theater-

David Letterman's Top Ten Signs There's Trouble At The New York Times

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Posted by Mike 2006-07-24 10:53|| || Front Page|| [3 views since 2007-05-07] Top

#1 11. Pinchy must sell big house in the Hamptons. Reduced to renting.

Posted by tu3031 2006-07-24 12:30|| 2006-07-24 12:30|| Front Page Top

#2 11. Army Spc. John Doe's family honored with Key to the City after giving his life for Americas Freedom is draped across the front page.

Posted by Uncle Sam 2006-07-24 15:06|| 2006-07-24 15:06|| Front Page Top

#3 Oprah is gay?

Posted by anonymous5089 2006-07-24 15:11|| 2006-07-24 15:11|| Front Page Top

#4 Ted Kennedy , the man who drowned my daughter and let her die. Posted on the first page.

Posted by Chappaquiddick Volunteer Fire Station 2006-07-24 15:17|| 2006-07-24 15:17|| Front Page Top

#5 World News posted

Determined Villagers, Coalition Funds Build School
Coalition Forces Asadabad Provincial Reconstruction Team and Qamchai
villagers celebrate the grand opening of the first school in their region
By U.S. Army Capt. Juanita Chang
Combined Task Force Thunder
KUNAR PROVINCE, Afghanistan, Jan. 18, 2005 Insurmountable terrain and high river waters did not thwart the determined residents of a village here from building a first-rate school for area children.

Thanks to the funding of the Coalition Forces Asadabad Provincial Reconstruction Team and the determination of the local residents, Qamchai village celebrated the grand opening of the first school in their region on Jan. 17.

We had to use donkeys to carry each of the bricks up the mountain, said Engineer Hafizullah, responsible for the construction of the project.

When the river rose we even had to construct boats to carry the bricks and cement across, he said.

Both school buildings have eight classrooms capable of holding 20 children each, allowing a total of 320 children to attend school at one time. The plan is to allow boys and girls to attend the school at different times or on different days.
The future leaders of Kunar and Afghanistan will come from these classrooms, U.S. Army Capt. John Wilt

Take care of this school and dont let anyone destroy it, Hafizullah pleaded to the village residents in attendance.

The local police chief also made a speech beseeching the residents of the valley to protect the school and others who bring education to the region.

The new principal for the school said local villagers were so determined to bring education to the area that everyone pitched in according to their ability.

This school is not only for religious studies but also for education for this world, the principal said. Religious studies are for the next world, but education is for our life in this world, he said.

This school is the first public facility to be built in this region and the residents expressed their gratitude to the coalition forces by presenting all the attending members with gifts of traditional Afghan rugs or clothing.

U.S. Army Col. Gary Cheek, commander of Combined Task Force Thunder, crosses the river on the way back from attending the grand opening of the Qamchai school in Kunar Province, Afghanistan, Jan. 17, 2005. Each brick and the cement to build the school had to be carried across the river and up a treacherous mountain on donkeys. U.S. Army photo by Capt. Juanita Chang
Local Afghan boys sing songs celebrating the grand opening of the Qamchai school in Kunar Province, Afghanistan, Jan. 17, 2005. U.S. Army photo by Capt. Juanita Chang
The future leaders of Kunar and Afghanistan will come from these classrooms, said Capt. John Wilt, the team leader for Civil Affairs Team-A from the Asadabad Provincial Reconstruction Team.

Posted by The real world 2006-07-24 15:22|| 2006-07-24 15:22|| Front Page Top

#6 Would you be surprised, if they print the truth's such as these. The end is surely near.

Posted by Larry King 2006-07-24 15:34|| 2006-07-24 15:34|| Front Page Top

#7 10. Extensive coverage of recent fighting between the Israelis and the lesbians
9. Pages 2 through 20 are corrections of previous edition
8. Every sentence begins "So, like"

7. TV listings only for broadcast networks, like it was in the 1960s.

6. Weather forecast reads "It's Bush's Fault!"

5. Multiple references to "President Gore"
4. Obituary includes list of people they wish were dead

3. Headlines have nothing to do with stories

2. Restaurant critic attacked Kosher food as "evil"

1. Reporting that Homosexuals aren't gay, that most of them are frequently depressed

Posted by Anonymoose 2006-07-24 16:34|| 2006-07-24 16:34|| Front Page Top

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