Article

2006-11-27 -Short Attention Span Theater-

Britain's unluckiest man falls down manhole

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Posted by anonymous5089 2006-11-27 09:53|| || Front Page|| [11128 views since 2007-05-07] Top

#1 He's a fugitive from the law of averages.

Posted by Mike 2006-11-27 10:10|| 2006-11-27 10:10|| Front Page Top

#2 The modern Job.

Posted by .com 2006-11-27 10:24|| 2006-11-27 10:24|| Front Page Top

#3 Gary Larson has it all covered.

Posted by anonymous5089 2006-11-27 10:30|| 2006-11-27 10:30|| Front Page Top

#4 anonymous5089 - Job's friends relatives and neighbors really owe Larson's God!

Posted by 3dc 2006-11-27 10:47|| 2006-11-27 10:47|| Front Page Top

#5 Wasn't this guy our Idiot of the Day a while back?

Posted by Atomic Conspiracy 2006-11-27 11:13|| 2006-11-27 11:13|| Front Page Top

#6 He might have been -- see how unlucky he is?

Posted by Steve White">Steve White 2006-11-27 16:32|| 2006-11-27 16:32|| Front Page Top

#7 AC, some people do escape the law of averages. Of course, one may consider the positive side--the guy is stil alive. In that sense, the average is preserved. Some people do encounter accidents, even one, and they are fatal for them.

Point in case, me.

Age 18 months: Patrents took off for a vacation and placed me and my twin brother in a full care facility. For some reason, we were placed in a room that was not usually utilized and the nurse forgoten to make a note in a log. She did provide a care for 3 days, but then shifts switched and we were forgotten. For 7 days. When our parents came to pick us up, nobody had any idea where we were, but after frantic search, they found us. In time, a pdiatrician said, we were about a couple of hours from expiring. We had to start learning everything again. Free commie health care, nuff said.

Age 26 months: My mom thought that our room is awfully quiet. Midday. Emphasis on awfully. She went in and found my twin sitting on my neck. I suppose we were wrestling. I was blue. Fortunately not enough, I turned pink in no time.

Age 7: Very stupid, were exploring industrial electricity wiring and got zapped by 380V. Atta jolt! Did not tell anyone, were sooo embarassed!

Age 8: Were pushed by a peer, lost ballance and hit the edge of a step with the back of my skull. People sweared it was a very loud thud. Passed out, for no longer than a minute. X-ray revealed a crack. Healed fast. To this day, I have there Mt. Olympus, which is handy for holding a hat in windy weather. :-)

Age 9+: Were hit by a motorcycle. Passed out (nice NDE), but not serious--just sanded off tissue on my left knee to the knee cap and got some contusions here and there, well quite a bit. Were sewn together and in 3 weeks I was like a brand new.

Years passed by with minor accidents may be considered mere papercuts...

Age 17: Fell from a cherry tree. Thought my last hour is near, got the wind knocked out of me. But got only two fingers broken. That ended my planned carrier as a musician, though.

Age 21: Sinked a belt saw about an inch into my left hand's palm when working in an advertising shop cutting some cardboard decorations. My boss seeing it passed out. I didn't and walked to an emergency on my own, despite substantial bleeding. Sewn together, like brand new 4 weeks later. Had a loss of feeling in my pinky, but in time the nervature reconnected.

Thought that I got my quota of accidents exhausted and for long years, it looked like I'll live the rest of my life uneventfully without much of an excitement...

Age 41: Hit by a truck while walking across the street. Don't recall much of it, well, rather nothing at all. Woke up in hospital a couple of days later. Nothing broken, just sore all over.

Age 50+: Hit by a car while on a bicycle. The dude was speeding and I did not have a chance to redirect my path, it was as if he is going after me, you know, the bubba thingy--road kill, stupid jerk. Boy, did I wreck his windshield! Rolled off on the road. Had instances of incipient passing out but held myself in focus--did not want to risk passing out for good. Did want to just walk home (were hit just few yards from my driveway), but the legs did not seem to respond much. The paramedic that arrived at the scene convinced me to take me to a hospital. Nothing broken, just some cuts, abrasions (half of my mustache sanded off) and contusions. Couldn't walk for 8 weeks woth of damn, and legs did hurt once a while for about a year.

I decided that I indeed had enough and I don't need any of it anymore. Have some work cut out for me to get it all in ballance. ;-)

Posted by twobyfour 2006-11-27 17:01|| 2006-11-27 17:01|| Front Page Top

#8 Twobyfour, ouch. Sorry about your mustache, too.

Posted by anonymous5089 2006-11-27 17:09|| 2006-11-27 17:09|| Front Page Top

#9 Some typos crept in, but preview was not my friend. Is it working now and I just need to upgrade my browser to the latest version?

It was not broken for a long time, so I avoided fixing it... firefox 1.7.2.

Posted by twobyfour 2006-11-27 17:16|| 2006-11-27 17:16|| Front Page Top

#10 anonymous5089, no big, it grew back despite that the skin went with it, I just looked a bit odd for a month and half, but apparently, deep inside I knew what the body plan is. ;-)

Posted by twobyfour 2006-11-27 17:20|| 2006-11-27 17:20|| Front Page Top

#11 You need SAC 2x4. Situational Awareness Class. I've failed twice.

Posted by Shipman 2006-11-27 18:04|| 2006-11-27 18:04|| Front Page Top

#12 Quite the story, twobyfour.
I nominate both you and Mr. Lyne for the Joe Btfsplk Award.

Posted by xbalanke 2006-11-27 18:08|| 2006-11-27 18:08|| Front Page Top

#13 Shipman, maybe, although, I am sort of going in that direction on my own. Being more aware of my surroundings, that is. Oh yea, I skipped a bundle of 'em. But they were relatively minor accidents, albeit they would document your point exactly.

Xbalanke, I don't think I deserve the award. ;-)
I look at the list of accidents and all I see is that despite there is an unusual accumulation, one aspect is rather prominent-- obvious one since I type this message here. I am alive and all that comotion cost me 2 broken fingers. If you saw that windshield, you'd think no way I got out of it as I did. E.g. a survivor. Cats envy me. ;-)

Posted by twobyfour 2006-11-27 19:30|| 2006-11-27 19:30|| Front Page Top

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