Article

2007-07-27 Caucasus/Russia/Central Asia

Kyrgyz authorities aspire to make the Issyk-Kul Film Festival a rival of the one in Cannes

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Posted by Fred 2007-07-27 00:00|| || Front Page|| [1 views ] Top

#1 Might wanna buy some vowels first...

Posted by tu3031 2007-07-27 10:34|| 2007-07-27 10:34|| Front Page Top

#2 How to make a successful film festival.

1) First year, invite a bunch of indy filmmakers, while loudly deriding commercial films and other film festivals as "sellouts". If any film critics show up, drown them in free liquor, drugs and hookers.

2) Give the awards to the most depressing and pretentious movies. Grand prize to some Hollywood director's low budget vanity film that stinks on ice and will not earn $100 of US box office.

3) Bribe a few celebrities to show up for red carpet shoots, and bribe them again to say snarky things about other celebrities they hate. Pay a few models to wear outfits that would get them arrested anywhere else on the planet.

4) Make a big deal about how impossible it is for anyone to meet the great leader, king or whoever, in his palace. Then invite two up-and-coming starlets in for a photo op, while making it a point to snub several of the over-the-hills actresses.

5) Let the police know that anything goes in the festival area. That the hoi polloi are to be kept out, and that the secret police be ready to get and leak juicy scandals with prior coordination with the celebrities agents, for the publicity.

6) The second year, the hell with indy films. Sell out as much as possible.

Posted by Anonymoose 2007-07-27 13:56|| 2007-07-27 13:56|| Front Page Top

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