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2007-05-28 -Short Attention Span Theater-

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Posted by Bobby 2007-05-28 06:55|| || Front Page|| [11127 views ] Top

#1 Men don't shop for food. They don't gather food. They hunt. If the object of your hunt doesn't kill or maim you in the process, you either eat it there or drag it home for later use. How complicated can this be?

Posted by Procopius2k 2007-05-28 07:22|| 2007-05-28 07:22|| Front Page Top

#2 "The other night, my wife wanted to make encaladas, but we were out of refried beans, so she sent me to Giant Eagle. I walked in, and . . . my God! The produce aisle! The potatoes; all those eyes watching me! It was too much--I was overwhelmed!

[collapses in sobbing heap]

"I'm sorry. I tried to be a man, but I'm not strong enough. Please forgive me."

Posted by Mike 2007-05-28 07:55|| 2007-05-28 07:55|| Front Page Top

#3 That's ok. I'm overwhelmed by hardware stores, and by WalMart. And yet those businesses somehow not only survive, but make a profit.

Posted by trailing wife 2007-05-28 08:16|| 2007-05-28 08:16|| Front Page Top

#4 And then there's the whole paper-or-plastic bag thing. I order both 'cause I am a manly man.

Posted by regular joe 2007-05-28 08:28|| 2007-05-28 08:28|| Front Page Top

#5 forego buying rather than risk purchasing a substitute that their significant other would make them take back

I hear you there.

I think there might be a fundamental difference between how men and women shop. Men tend to go in, get what they want, pay up and get the heck out. While women on the other hand go in and shop. Stroll up and down each and every isle and linger.
At least that has been my observation.

Posted by CrazyFool 2007-05-28 08:50|| 2007-05-28 08:50|| Front Page Top

#6 boy.... weak news day, huh, Yahoo?

As a single Dad, I've never had much trouble finding food, meat, even Tampons for the daughter, and I didn't need help. Go figure. I guess it's because they group similar items together (rather than randomly scattered), and put signs above the aisles ...for us dumb guys

Posted by Frank G">Frank G 2007-05-28 09:01|| 2007-05-28 09:01|| Front Page Top

#7 Oh please.

Overwhelmed?! That's a girly word. Real men are never overwhelmed. By anything. Ever. We may choose not to play the silly game, but we are not overwhelmed.

I've been doing the grocery shopping for years and consider myself an expert. However, the article makes some valid points specifically -sales are being lost as men are not accommodated. I have a few suggestions:

1) Train your staff on customer service. It may seem I enjoy verbally beating the hell out of your checkout girl Buffy (I do!) when she and Skippy are yappy away about how wasted they were last night when she should be scanning my items and looking me in the eye. Beat it pimpleface. Go get it hard somewhere else 'cause I'm spending $200 bucks here and I want the order to be correct. Oh, I embarrassed you Buff? Well, let me tell you something sister, this is called 'work' for a reason. Socialize when you're off the clock. Still pissed at me? Hold on a sec - the service desk is only 5 steps away. Oh Ms. Manager, Buff here . . . .

2) Organize your shelf space into logical units. NOT what is frozen, what is dry packed, etc. You know, spaghetti, sauce, parmesian cheese, crushed red pepper flakes, etc. all together. Or pre-made pie crusts located close to pie fillings - NOT in the frozen food case. Pretzels absolutely must be where? That's correct class, by the beer. Sheese!

3) Again, train your staff. When stocking shelves, DO NOT park your loading carts side by side and block the &%#$ing aisle. I WILL move your boxes to get them out of my way and I really don't care where they end up. Got it?

Credit where it's due - I haven't noticed any carts with the one wobbly wheel since I hauled my tools in, flipped a cart over and commenced to work on it on a Saturday morning. You should have seen the look on your face when the law got there and said "Hey Gort, how's it going?" Priceless. Ignore me at your own peril.

Oh yeah, one last thing - this isn't the store's fault but could we do something about the two old ladies walking arm in arm, looking at everything, buying nothing but performing an excellent example of the Romulan Blocking Maneuver? Man that annoys me.

Posted by GORT 2007-05-28 09:21|| 2007-05-28 09:21|| Front Page Top

#8 I am annoyed by the silly law that requires an older person to come over to scan my beer.
Either hire older workers or buy politicians that will change that stupid law.

Posted by 3dc 2007-05-28 09:32|| 2007-05-28 09:32|| Front Page Top

#9 From TFA: retailers are still not doing much to make the trip any more enticing, retail con or am used tosultants and industry experts said

How's about: you shop or you starve.

But seriously, I shop at one store without regard to price because it has everything I need. I don't get overwhelmed in a new store; I get irritated that the store I usually shop at didn't have the item I wanted, and I invite my irratability along for the trip to the new store. He seems to enjoy it.

Posted by badanov 2007-05-28 09:35|| http://www.freefirezone.org]">[http://www.freefirezone.org] 2007-05-28 09:35|| Front Page Top

#10 As is almost always the case when a women writes about mans behavior, she's wrong. Note to all female journalists: When writing about male behavior, talk to one first.

Its not that its difficult to find items. Its that the grocery store is full of items that we don't know what to do with. When women are an item, they know. What they can make with it, and if they think they might want to make said item, they pick up the requisite ingredients. Whereas when men go shopping, we haven't a clue what these items can be used for, so we never even give them a look.

That and I suspect a mans tendency is to impulse shop is probably mostly limited to snack items and females would be more likely to impulse buy a an entire meal or dessert ingredients etc.

Posted by Mike N. 2007-05-28 09:58|| 2007-05-28 09:58|| Front Page Top

#11 #5 CFL "Men tend to go in, get what they want, pay up and get the heck out. While women on the other hand go in and shop."

Not this woman, in a grocery store or elsewhere.* I go, get what I want, and get the hell out of there.

*I will browse in bookstores, but I don't consider that shopping - that's hunting and gatherin for the mind and soul. ;-p

Posted by Barbara Skolaut">Barbara Skolaut 2007-05-28 10:00|| http://ariellestjohndesigns.com/]">[http://ariellestjohndesigns.com/] 2007-05-28 10:00|| Front Page Top

#12 gathering

Why, yes, I am Southern - why do you ask?

Posted by Barbara Skolaut">Barbara Skolaut 2007-05-28 10:02|| http://ariellestjohndesigns.com/]">[http://ariellestjohndesigns.com/] 2007-05-28 10:02|| Front Page Top

#13 What's the big deal? Spaghetti, meat, chili, chips, salsa, and beer. A few veggies here and there that'll mostly go into the spaghetti sauce or the chili or as a side with the meat. Oh, and maybe some more meat to go on the grill (gotta' grab a bag of charcoal too) and some barbecue sauce, taco fixin's (especially the spices and peppers), and other such stuff.

Overwhelmed? Hardly. What's that about my cholesterol? It's fine, don't worry and it's my business anyway - unless I drop dead of a stroke or heart attack in one of the store's aisles and then I won't really care anyway, right?

Barb - you're southern? No, really?

:-)

Does chicken count as a meat? Doesn't matter as long as it grills up, fries, or broils nicely.

Posted by FOTSGreg">FOTSGreg 2007-05-28 10:50|| www.fire-on-the-suns.com]">[www.fire-on-the-suns.com] 2007-05-28 10:50|| Front Page Top

#14 No, I never go in those places. I need something that respects my hunter/warrior heritage, and down-plays all of that girlish browsing.

For a start, the whole idea of checkouts is ass-backwards. You should pay as you go in. Instead of regimented shelves (dangerous defiles in my mind), you should stride into a space that is more open, where no-one would dare get in your way.

To one side would be corrals, filled with a variety of critters. You would butcher your own, using store supplied knives, axes and the like, and take whatever cuts you want. There would be friendly competition with the other guys for the choicer animals. Sorta like Lord of the Flies, but with better weapons. Offcuts would be left to the less discerning shoppers.

On the other side would be a variery of bushes and trees that would supply all of your non-meat requirements. You know, spaghetti trees, pizza bushes and the like.

So, once you have what you want, you head for the exit. On the way out, beers are awarded, based on how well you have demonstrated your hunting style, with extra points for rebel yells, and deductions for injuries.

Yep, that is how real men should shop. Nice and quick. Get what you need and out of there.

Posted by Bunyip 2007-05-28 11:08|| 2007-05-28 11:08|| Front Page Top

#15 Ahem, this man had NO problem going to the store and shopping for food. I make a list, drive tot he store, gather the items, pay for them, return home, and put them away. Funny I have never ever not found something I was looking for, never wet myself during the pocess, and didn't fall to the floor in a fit because I thought I was "overwhelmed" by the experience.

Posted by Cyber Sarge 2007-05-28 12:21|| 2007-05-28 12:21|| Front Page Top

#16 Oh I get it now, of the Democratic contenders for the White House THEY are "completely overwhelmed" by a trip to the grocery store. I mean really can you picture Edwards or Obama with a shopping cart? No neither can I.

Posted by Cyber Sarge 2007-05-28 12:32|| 2007-05-28 12:32|| Front Page Top

#17 Grocery Store Shock and Awe to dems, I guess. Maybe the intimidated shoppers should have a separate 400 sq ft room with a few items on sale to build up their confidence to the BIG SPACE. You shop like you train. I guess.......

Posted by Alaska Paul">Alaska Paul 2007-05-28 13:18|| 2007-05-28 13:18|| Front Page Top

#18 What's hard about shopping for food? You review your current bench stock, make a list of those parts you are low on, go to the supply depot, compare prices for best value, review any new products against future mission requirements, fill your cart and take them to the computer scanner and present your card. Simple.

Now, buying my wife a gift, that's hard.

Posted by Steve">Steve 2007-05-28 13:21|| 2007-05-28 13:21|| Front Page Top

#19 just hunt for the food groups and ~~buy~~ catch them.

Posted by RD">RD 2007-05-28 14:57|| 2007-05-28 14:57|| Front Page Top

#20 There are so many choices at the ~~booze~~ necessity store. I could wander around in there forever. The rest of the stuff is easy.

Posted by Deacon Blues">Deacon Blues 2007-05-28 15:00|| 2007-05-28 15:00|| Front Page Top

#21 I was really overwhelmed when I went 'shopping' yesterday. Should I buy three pounds of baby back ribs, or should I buy four?

That has to be the dumbest article I've read all year...

Posted by Raj 2007-05-28 15:05|| 2007-05-28 15:05|| Front Page Top

#22 Overwhelmed at the grocery store? nah. Why? that's women's work. leave me in the autoparts store or any decent hardware store (real hardwood floors preferred) to fondle the grade 8 bolts and stainless steel cotter keys, and i'm good for the day, but don't ask me to be successful with a list more that one item long at the safeway.....

Posted by USN, ret. 2007-05-28 18:22|| 2007-05-28 18:22|| Front Page Top

#23 Not Goceries, but a comment on shopping in general...

Posted by Mullah Richard 2007-05-28 18:37|| 2007-05-28 18:37|| Front Page Top

#24 The only valid point this article makes concerns how the stores are losing money by not making an effort to target their male customers. It's slowly happening with salty snacks being placed near the beer and grill seasonings displayed at the meat counter, but there's still a long way to go.

As to the inference that men do not how to shop, that's horseradish. Just the other day I had to instruct some women about how to purchase corn on the cob. They were husking it in the store which starts the sugar to starch conversion process and initiates moisture loss on the spot. I also had to show them how to inspect ears before purchase, looking for small kernels in tight straight rows.

Few people I see, male or female shop intelligently. Not very many use coupons and frequently select brand name items whose cost is often double of others while not being much better in quality. I assiduously clip coupons and save on the order of $1,000 - $2,000 per year. Some examples:

A 4.58 pound Bone-In Pork Shoulder at 79¢ per pound. By carefully selecting mine, I managed to get all of 2-3 ounces of bone in my cut. That's a $12.78 piece of meat for all of $3.62.

30 oz. Best Foods / Hellman's Mayonnaise @ 2 for $5.00 with a 50¢ off coupon. That's $2.25 each for a $3.99 jar of mayo. More often I pay $1.99 per jar.

6.4 oz. Aquafresh Toothpaste @ $1.00 each instead of $2.79 apiece.

30 oz. tin of Rosarita Refried Beans @ $1.00 each instead of $2.49 apiece.

Seven tins of the beans, two jars of the mayo and four of the toothpaste equaled $16.98 for $39.39 worth of groceries. All of the items have prolonged shelf life and I saved over $20.00 on a $17.00 purchase. Store receipts typically indicate between 33% and 50% savings on nearly all of my shopping trips.

You can also realize tremedous savings at bakery outlet shops. I buy a +$3.00 24 oz. / 22 slice loaf of bread for $1.39. The higher quality means they use slightly more preservatives and one loaf lasts me an entire month without going bad. A $1.00 loaf from Foodmaxx or Target not only weighs less but is less than half the quality in terms of density of crumb and goes bad with in two weeks or less. I picked up a 16 oz. six pack of Coulumbo sourdough sandwich rolls that sells for over $3.00 for only $1.00. If I don't use them all and one or two go bad, I don't have to worry about discarding a whopping 33¢ worth of chow.

Preprocessed foods are the biggest burn of all. Not only do they cost well over double or triple of the raw ingredients, they are also frequently much higher in sodium, sugar and other artificial ingredients or extenders.

Now, you'll have to excuse me, I just butterflied off a nice chunk from my pork shoulder, hammered it onto a long strip, dusted it with a Chinese dry rub of 5 spice powder, white pepper plus powdered mustard, ginger, onion and garlic. I've rolled up some ngau-yook kaau (dim sum beef meatball mixture) inside, trussed it with twine and basted the entire thing with homemade char-siu Chinese BBQ sauce. It's heading for a low flame grill right now. This thing is either going to flop miserably of be one of my best receipes ever and I'm about to find out.

Posted by Zenster">Zenster 2007-05-28 21:08|| 2007-05-28 21:08|| Front Page Top

#25 MR, the female was apparently hungry.
I always feed my females before shopping. ;-)

Posted by twobyfour 2007-05-28 21:22|| 2007-05-28 21:22|| Front Page Top

#26 Grocery stores need to be made more appealing to guys. I suggest the following:

A guy turns the corner and enters the beverage isle. Sees a row of coolers filled with beer. A supermarket worker runs up to him hands him a martial arts weapon, bows and leaves.

Guy: WTF?
[Ninja drops down from the ceiling]
Ninja: Before you take that beer, you must fight me to the death!! Prepare yourself! Hyaaaaa!!!

Posted by DMFD 2007-05-28 22:46|| 2007-05-28 22:46|| Front Page Top

#27 #26 - and then the guy pulls out his ACP .45, blows away the ninja, gets the beer, stops off at the ammo aisle to pick up some more 45s, buys a cigar to celebrate, and goes home.
After all, this is the new convenience store, Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms.

Posted by Rambler">Rambler 2007-05-28 23:07|| 2007-05-28 23:07|| Front Page Top

#28 Ah, Zenster, one needs a certain kind of brain to do that -- the first part anyway. I married into a family of shoppers, but am totally incapable, despite trying really, really hard over the years, of doing so myself. I simply cannot keep comparison prices in my head. I've tried the coupon thingy, tried keeping lists of all the things I buy regularly and which shops have the best prices for them, tried making lists of sale items at all the nearby shops. This is as painful and unsuccessful as picking paint colours or wallpaper... and as likely to end with me in an ambulance with a stroke. *shrug*

Posted by trailing wife 2007-05-28 23:30|| 2007-05-28 23:30|| Front Page Top

23:53 Rex Mundi
23:42 Jackal
23:41 Jackal
23:30 trailing wife
23:12 anonymous2u
23:08 trailing wife
23:07 Rambler
23:07 Barbara Skolaut
23:06 Barbara Skolaut
23:03 trailing wife
22:46 DMFD
22:42 Barbara Skolaut
22:37 DMFD
22:33 Abu do you love
22:29 Abu do you love
22:29 Captain America
22:19 Jan from work
22:13 Mike N.
22:12 jds
22:10 DMFD
22:08 jds
22:06 Frank G
22:06 Old Patriot
21:55 Mike