Article

2004-05-10 Home Front: WoT

Judge orders military to keep Akbar awake

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Posted by TS(vice girl) 2004-05-10 5:23:58 PM|| || Front Page|| [11134 views since 2007-05-07] Top

#1 I've got a suggestion - it involves voltage and Ohm's law

Posted by Frank G 2004-05-10 6:32:47 PM|| 2004-05-10 6:32:47 PM|| Front Page Top

#2 ? Watt's pot never boils?

Posted by Shipman 2004-05-10 6:47:34 PM|| 2004-05-10 6:47:34 PM|| Front Page Top

sleep disorder that causes him to wake up frequently at night

Were this true - which I doubt - it could be easily fixed.

More likely it's a dodge thought up in cahoots with the lawyer to try to get him some sympathy.

I hope they fix it so he gets plenty of sleep - permanently. And an unmarked grave.

Posted by Barbara Skolaut 2004-05-10 6:56:37 PM|| 2004-05-10 6:56:37 PM|| Front Page Top

#4 Stand him at attention, 45 minutes at a time and fifteen minutes at ease. It's legal, and I guarantee that he will think twice about falling asleep when he realizes he's going to hit the floor.

Mike

Posted by Mike Kozlowski 2004-05-10 7:15:03 PM|| 2004-05-10 7:15:03 PM|| Front Page Top

#5 Frank G - Sizzling Brilliant!

Posted by BigEd 2004-05-10 7:41:48 PM|| 2004-05-10 7:41:48 PM|| Front Page Top

#6 So, Frank, what is the threshold voltage on Akbar before it becomes a culturally insensitive value?

Posted by Alaska Paul 2004-05-10 7:52:50 PM|| 2004-05-10 7:52:50 PM|| Front Page Top

#7 Paul, now that is a HOT topic!

Posted by BigEd 2004-05-10 8:05:34 PM|| 2004-05-10 8:05:34 PM|| Front Page Top

#8 More likely it's a dodge thought up in cahoots with the lawyer to try to get him some sympathy.

Even odds they'll claim he was "asleep" at the time of the attack.

Posted by Robert Crawford 2004-05-10 8:13:12 PM|| [http://www.kloognome.com/] 2004-05-10 8:13:12 PM|| Front Page Top

#9 Truncheons? I'm old school like that.

Posted by Raj 2004-05-10 8:17:16 PM|| [http://angrycyclist.blogspot.com] 2004-05-10 8:17:16 PM|| Front Page Top

#10 simmer is at 120V and 10 amps....he'll love that new permanent hairdo

Posted by Frank G 2004-05-10 9:05:30 PM|| 2004-05-10 9:05:30 PM|| Front Page Top

#11 I've got a lot of perfectly good fire ants that are going to waste. Couple hundred in his shorts ought to do it.

Posted by Steve 2004-05-10 9:13:11 PM|| 2004-05-10 9:13:11 PM|| Front Page Top

#12 I'm hoping he keeps waking up at night because he is having horrific dreams of what hell is going to be like.

Posted by TS(vice girl) 2004-05-10 9:35:35 PM|| 2004-05-10 9:35:35 PM|| Front Page Top

#13 #12 - Naahhh, he thinks he's going to heaven for killing infidels.

Is he in for a fat surprise!

Posted by Barbara Skolaut 2004-05-10 11:06:30 PM|| 2004-05-10 11:06:30 PM|| Front Page Top

#14 Nope, he probably has obstructive sleep apnea. It's a common medical condition. I treat patients with it all the time (pulmonary physicians see these patients as part of the specialty).

The problem is that when he falls asleep, the muscles that normally brace the pharynx open fail to do so, so the tongue falls back and obstructs his tracha. He wakes up, breathes, falls asleep, obstructs, wakes up ... etc. This can happen 10 to 60 times an hour.

Imagine how you feel the next day. Yep, you fall asleep. This happens every night for years and years. Long-term effects (not that he'll live that long) include obesity, right-sided congestive heart failure, pulmonary hypertension and death due to heart failure.

Treatment is with a CPAP (continuous positive airway pressure) mask at night to splint the airway open with air pressure. Damned uncomfortable for some, but about 2/3 of the patients will get used to it. When it works, it's 100% effective in treating the disorder.

Now to keep it on him at night if he becomes difficult, I'm told a few yards of duct-tape works nicely.

Posted by Steve White 2004-05-10 11:39:02 PM|| 2004-05-10 11:39:02 PM|| Front Page Top

#15 They've probably got him doped up on valium so that he doesn't shout out something stupid like, Allah, the God of Peace, wants you all dead.

Posted by B 2004-05-11 1:09:14 AM|| 2004-05-11 1:09:14 AM|| Front Page Top

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