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2004-04-20 -Short Attention Span Theater-
Helpful Phrases for the American Tourist
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Posted by growler 2004-04-20 11:04:54 AM|| || Front Page|| [11127 views since 2007-05-07]  Top

#1 if go in philipines alway greet ladies by saying pek pek mobaho. that always get them smiling.
Posted by muck4doo 2004-04-20 11:07:10 AM|| [http://www.lettuceladies.com/meet.html]  2004-04-20 11:07:10 AM|| Front Page Top

#2 Drop the weapon and put your hands up.
Laissez tomber l'arme et mettez vos mains vers le haut.
Caiga la arma y ponga sus manos para arriba.
Lassen Sie die Waffe fallen und setzen Sie Ihre Hände oben.
Posted by Steve  2004-04-20 11:11:26 AM||   2004-04-20 11:11:26 AM|| Front Page Top

#3 Make sure my seat isn't next to any Frenchmen.
J'exige de ne pas être assis à côté d'un français.
No me siente al lado de ningún argentino, por favor.
Passen sie auf, dass ich nicht neben irgendwelchen Östereichern sitze.

Could I have some clean water?
Veuillez m'apporter de l'eau vraiment propre.
¿Podría darme un poco de su agua realmente potable?
Könnte ich etwas sauberes Wasser haben?

I don't know if this is a troll or if you're just stupid.
De deux choses l'une : ou tu fais de la provocation, ou tu es vraiment con.
¿Es ésta una provocación gratuita, o simplemente eres bestia?
Ich weiß nicht, ob das eine Provokation sein soll oder ob Du einfach nur dumm bist.

LMAO!
Posted by Chris W.  2004-04-20 11:14:59 AM||   2004-04-20 11:14:59 AM|| Front Page Top

#4 Some translmations are wrong.

"How much is that in real money?"
C'est combien en vrai argent.
¿Cuánto es en moneda de verdad?

"Your country has such lovely dirt"
¡Su país tiene una suciedad de lo más agradable!
Posted by JFM  2004-04-20 11:16:44 AM||   2004-04-20 11:16:44 AM|| Front Page Top

#5 Do you want to MAKE MONEY FAST?
Voulez-vous GAGNER BEAUCOUP D'ARGENT TRÈS VITE ?
¿Quiere usted HACER DINERO RAPIDAMENTE?
Willst Du SCHNELL GELD MACHEN?


I think I've received all these in spam, dammit
Posted by Frank G  2004-04-20 11:19:47 AM||   2004-04-20 11:19:47 AM|| Front Page Top

#6 Fixing another lot of translations.

"Drop your weapon and put your hands up"
(French) "Laissez tomber votre arme et levez les mains"
(Spanish) "Deje su arma y levante las manos"
(Zapatero's Spanish): Por favor no dispare y podr&´ joder a mi hija. Please don't shoot and you will fuck my daughter.
(Real Spanish) Bang, bang, bang

Could I have some clean water?
¿Puedo tener agua limpia?
Posted by JFM  2004-04-20 11:46:18 AM||   2004-04-20 11:46:18 AM|| Front Page Top

#7 Heehee -- the german translation of "I understand your language perfectly" is "I speak German like Italian football coaches".
Posted by Aris Katsaris  2004-04-20 12:02:04 PM||   2004-04-20 12:02:04 PM|| Front Page Top

#8 In honor of the recently released night-vision video from centcom:

Don't Look now, but there is an Apache helicopter behind you.

Pas le Regard maintenant, mais il y a un hélicoptère Apache derrière vous.
No Mire ahora, pero hay un helicóptero Apache detrás de usted.
Schauen Sie jetzt, nicht An aber es gibt einen Apache Hubschrauber hinter Ihnen.
Posted by Anonymous4052 2004-04-20 12:08:37 PM||   2004-04-20 12:08:37 PM|| Front Page Top

#9 The suggested phrases for "I admire you above all for your purity of spirit and your appreciation of the arts." are also winners.

But what's gâterie, JFM? Babelfish was silent on this question.

I was going to ask for assistance on the Spanish as well, but it suddenly dawned on me what "chupa" meant. Babelfish translates this phrase as, "If you want to absorb the whistle to me, I am not going to protest." Well, why would you?
Posted by Angie Schultz 2004-04-20 12:32:13 PM|| [http://darkblogules.blogspot.com]  2004-04-20 12:32:13 PM|| Front Page Top

#10 The one that always wins friends for you is
"I was here back in (year) when this was a nice country."
Posted by Old Patriot  2004-04-20 12:42:40 PM|| [http://users.codenet.net/mweather/default.htm]  2004-04-20 12:42:40 PM|| Front Page Top

#11 My old favorite is "How much is that in real money?"--- guaranteed to piss off everybody.
Posted by Sgt. Mom 2004-04-20 12:56:08 PM|| [www.sgtstryker.com]  2004-04-20 12:56:08 PM|| Front Page Top

#12 Yes, Sgt. Mom, you are right. Value Added Tax calculations in Europe are so messy.
Posted by Anonymous4052 2004-04-20 12:58:44 PM||   2004-04-20 12:58:44 PM|| Front Page Top

#13 Gee, my favorite's always been: "Why don't you people speak f*ckin' English?!!!"... Maybe Anonymous can give me some help here.
Posted by Jack Deth  2004-04-20 1:56:55 PM||   2004-04-20 1:56:55 PM|| Front Page Top

#14 What time is it? No... no... What TIME is it?!?

Point at your wrist while saying it. And increase the volume each time you ask.
Posted by eLarson 2004-04-20 2:26:24 PM||   2004-04-20 2:26:24 PM|| Front Page Top

#15 even better:
Where is the toilet? No... no... Where is it?!?

Point at your groin while saying it. And increase the volume each time you ask
Posted by Frank G  2004-04-20 2:37:34 PM||   2004-04-20 2:37:34 PM|| Front Page Top

#16 Angie

Gaterie comes from gaté (spoiled). In French gaté has both an unfavourable meaning (a spoiled brat, a spoiled apple) and another one when someone is very kind to you (example: a woman is offered frequently flowers by her lover/husband will tell: "Tu me gates" ie "You are spoiling me").

"Gaterie" (you usually "une petite gaterie", "a small thing who spoils you") is something who is very liked by the receiver but quite exceptional. However I haven't heard it used for gifts in years, I think its main use would be for situations like a frustrated president married to a beautiful but prudish blonde and asking an intern for something the blonde ever refused. No relation to actual facts of course. :-)
Posted by JFM  2004-04-20 3:11:20 PM||   2004-04-20 3:11:20 PM|| Front Page Top

#17 Jack Deth : spell out the f word in this link for help -

Translate

Posted by Anonymous4052 2004-04-20 3:24:18 PM||   2004-04-20 3:24:18 PM|| Front Page Top

#18 This goes in the Classics!
Posted by Korora  2004-04-20 3:59:40 PM|| [http://basementburrow.blogspot.com]  2004-04-20 3:59:40 PM|| Front Page Top

#19 And there's my personal favorite:

Is it a controlled substance here in your country?

Man, I hate to see those translating websites like in #17....It's making me obsolete
Posted by Kentucky Beef 2004-04-20 4:03:39 PM||   2004-04-20 4:03:39 PM|| Front Page Top

#20 See, there, guys. Bill Clinton has a use after all---he created a situation by which JFM could explain gâterie in a very delicate manner. Thanks, JFM!

I still think "absorb the whistle" is a lot funnier.
Posted by Angie Schultz 2004-04-20 4:29:50 PM|| [http://darkblogules.blogspot.com]  2004-04-20 4:29:50 PM|| Front Page Top

#21 how you say bong hear
Posted by HalfEmpty 2004-04-20 5:30:08 PM||   2004-04-20 5:30:08 PM|| Front Page Top

#22 you have to say it in English first HE...try again
Posted by Frank G  2004-04-20 5:35:26 PM||   2004-04-20 5:35:26 PM|| Front Page Top

#23 "Why don't you people speak f*ckin' English?!!!"

My variation on this one and personal favorite: "You do speak English, don't you??"

Mind you, it sometimes backfires when it turns out they do speak English. It happened at least once, that I can remember.
Posted by Rafael 2004-04-20 6:50:35 PM||   2004-04-20 6:50:35 PM|| Front Page Top

#24 Yo! Muck4doo, mywife is Philippine.
You say that to her she will knock your teeth out!! That's disgusting!!
Posted by Long Hair Republican  2004-04-21 12:03:13 AM||   2004-04-21 12:03:13 AM|| Front Page Top

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