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2004-03-04 Afghanistan/South Asia
I think we’ve found our secret weapon - FRUITCAKES!
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Posted by Anonymous2U 2004-03-04 12:21:00 AM|| || Front Page|| [11132 views since 2007-05-07]  Top

#1 I have eaten many of the most wonderous looking fruit cakes in my youth. And every one tasted like, like...
Posted by Lucky 2004-3-4 12:27:53 AM||   2004-3-4 12:27:53 AM|| Front Page Top

#2 Ever had Bread Pudding at Brennan's in New Orleans? Or Baked Alaska at Antoine's? Melike. The truth is they might qualify as decent warmups, but they can't hold a candle...

Yeah, I know the reputation and the jokes, but that just proves how rare is rare... pity the poor souls who've never had the good stuff. Sorry, folks! And no, there's not enough to go around as it is, so don't ask! :-)
Posted by .com 2004-3-4 1:53:32 AM||   2004-3-4 1:53:32 AM|| Front Page Top

#3 Fruitcake is a magnificent foodstuff. As I understand the history, the fruitcake originated as a staple among the Roman Legions capable of sustaining the warriors during long campaigns. It is the perfect backpacking food. Five pounds of fruitcake -- along with tea and a few other food items -- will sustain me for seven days. Whatever odious ingredient made the odd bite of the fruitcake of my youth taste unpleasant -- probably some sort of peel of citrus -- is no longer present.
Posted by Garrison 2004-3-4 1:59:42 AM||   2004-3-4 1:59:42 AM|| Front Page Top

#4 The last one I got as a Christmas gift made a wonderful doorstop
Posted by Frank G  2004-3-4 8:08:35 AM||   2004-3-4 8:08:35 AM|| Front Page Top

#5 Fruitcakeium is one of the densest materials known to man and can be used as a replacement for depleted uranium in anti-tank weapons.
Posted by Steve  2004-3-4 8:27:52 AM||   2004-3-4 8:27:52 AM|| Front Page Top

#6 The very best fruitcake comes from Claxton, Georgia, just a piece of US 280 east of Vidalia and the War College.

Of course, "best" is a relative term: Fruitcake literally gives me siezures. The muscles in my back start spasming, then jerking my back into a bow, as if I was a flopping fish.

And I still occasionally get the damned stuff as a gift. I will be more than happy to forward it to afghanistan as a good will gesture. Do I use the same shipping company who shipped my uneaten spinach to the starving children in India and Africa?

Funny thing about taste: Py parents-in-law, via The Ambassadors, has hosted two sisters of a friend in Russia, one during the Atlanta Olympic games. They simply would NOT EAT firm, white bananas. The bananas had to be so ripe, they'd bend in half if you held them upright on one end. They'd devour, with delight, bananas that I would have regarded as being long past the "dispose by" date.

Once you think about it, you realize, of course, why that is: It's a loooong way from the Havana Banana trees to Moscow...


Posted by Ptah  2004-3-4 8:52:45 AM|| [http://www.crusaderwarcollege.org]  2004-3-4 8:52:45 AM|| Front Page Top

#7 It's all a plot. and the Afghan warlords are now eating the entire world supply of fruitcake. There are no factories...no one in America has ever eaten a fruitcake. We accept them as presents..and then give them away next Christmas.

Doesn't the colonel know that at this rate fruitcake will be extinct?
Posted by anymouse 2004-3-4 9:53:48 AM||   2004-3-4 9:53:48 AM|| Front Page Top

#8 But these are no ordinary fruitcakes . . . they've been weaponized by exposure to Zionist death rays(tm).
Posted by Mike  2004-3-4 10:13:15 AM||   2004-3-4 10:13:15 AM|| Front Page Top

#9 now i know what to get chainey for chrismas.
Posted by muck4doo 2004-3-4 10:22:22 AM||   2004-3-4 10:22:22 AM|| Front Page Top

#10 My wife is a secret fruitcake lover. She HAS to have some every Christmas. When she has time, she bakes her own. If she can't, she buys the Claxton brand. It only takes a little bit, and she's the only one here who eats it (I can't - on a zero-sugar diet). Of course, it's impossible to bake a small fruitcake, so when she does make them, we usually put two or three in the freezer for future years. They don't freeze well...
Posted by Old Patriot  2004-3-4 10:48:39 AM|| [http://users.codenet.net/mweather/default.htm]  2004-3-4 10:48:39 AM|| Front Page Top

#11 I read all the comments and now I'm HUNGRY.

...waiting for lunch....

Fruitcakes don't freeze well...around here they usually back out of the freezer for a couple of slices so often they never get a chance.
Posted by john  2004-3-4 11:34:30 AM||   2004-3-4 11:34:30 AM|| Front Page Top

#12 Hell John, you don't need to freeze fruitcake... properly made they have a half-life of 328 years.
Posted by Shipman 2004-3-4 11:44:15 AM||   2004-3-4 11:44:15 AM|| Front Page Top

#13 After yesterdays post I thought our secret weapon was condoms.... Did I miss a memo?
Posted by CrazyFool  2004-3-4 12:57:03 PM||   2004-3-4 12:57:03 PM|| Front Page Top

#14 Fruitcakes are bloody evil! I hate them with a passion...eew.
Posted by Andrew Ian Dodge  2004-3-4 1:10:26 PM|| [http://www.andrewiandodge.com]  2004-3-4 1:10:26 PM|| Front Page Top

#15 When I saw this headline, I thought it was a proposal to export America's "gay marriage problem."
Posted by Tibor 2004-3-4 4:51:47 PM||   2004-3-4 4:51:47 PM|| Front Page Top

#16 Claxton fruit cakes are the South's gift to the US--they are abso-lutely the best in the world
Posted by NotMike Moore 2004-3-4 11:53:35 PM||   2004-3-4 11:53:35 PM|| Front Page Top

#17 'The Afghan Fruitcake Affair' (as this event will surely come to be named), will go down in history as a pivotal event in the 21st century's clash of civilizations. It will certainly provide both the keys to peace and incontrovertible evidence that 'those people over there' really are different and we will never truly understand one another.
Posted by Anonymous 2004-3-5 12:33:08 AM||   2004-3-5 12:33:08 AM|| Front Page Top

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00:21 CobraCommander
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00:07 NotMike Moore
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23:47 NotMike Moore
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