[Babylon Bee] WASHINGTON, D.C.‐At a panel on climate change held yesterday, the Senate brought in a group of excited third graders for ideas on fighting climate change.
"These kids have ideas and they are passionate, so we must listen to them," said Sen. Brian Schatz of Hawaii. "There are no possible downsides to taking kids who have been told the world is ending by the public school system and allowing them to dictate national policies on important issues."
The kids came up with the following list so far, though they say they're "just spitballing" and the ideas need some fleshing out:
Bribing the climate with cookies and candy
Putting the climate on time-out
Just ignoring climate change and playing Fortnite
Building a giant magnet and sucking up all the bad climate stuff
Buying a Nintendo Switch for every person in the nation (so they'll stay inside and play Nintendo instead of driving cars)
Making a big freeze ray gun like in Despicable Me and shooting the climate
Pointing and laughing at cows who fart so they'll be embarrassed and stop farting
Hey do you guys want to play some Minecraft? This is boring.
"It's incredibly brave for these kids to volunteer to take over our government's climate change policies," said Schatz as the panel convened for its seventh Fortnite break of the morning. "I'm not sure why we didn't think of this before."
The kids will also be asked to make policies on bedtime, homework, and candy.
Barack Obama has not been shy when it comes to criticizing his successor, but he's been MIA when it comes to defending his former vice president, Joe Biden. He was conspicuously silent when Joe Biden faced allegations of racism for his past opposition to busing and working with segregationist Democrats. Biden clearly survived the temporary controversy because, I suspect, most people deep down recognize that Biden is not a racist.
But this Ukraine business is another matter entirely. Obama could be out there contradicting allegations of impropriety‐in fact, he should be because his own vice president has been accused of a quid pro quo. Obama may want to be neutral in the 2020 Democratic primary, but his administration has a fresh quid pro quo allegation and Obama remains tight-lipped about it.
..."They were walking out to a press conference. I said, nah, ... we’re not going to give you the billion dollars. They said, ’You have no authority. You’re not the president‐the president said’ ... I said, 'Call him.' I said, 'I’m telling you, you’re not getting the billion dollars.' I said, you’re not getting the billion. ... I looked at them and said, ’I’m leaving in six hours. If the prosecutor is not fired, you’re not getting the money.’ Well, son of a b----. He got fired. And they put in place someone who was solid at the time."
With those words, it appears Biden implicated Barack Obama in the quid pro quo scandal. Biden was so sure that he could withhold the billion-dollar loan despite Obama's assurance to Ukraine the loan was a done deal. Biden knew he could withhold the billion dollars because obviously Barack Obama knew, which means Barack Obama had, at some point, approved the quid pro quo to protect Biden's son.
[The Federalist] If the latest media-manufactured hysteria over President Donald Trump’s interactions with the Ukrainian government looks familiar, it’s because it is. The same tired playbook is being run by the same discredited people with the same goal: get rid of Trump, by any means necessary.
Just as the Clinton campaign, Obama administration holdovers, and complicit media allies peddled lies about Russian collusion while engaging in literal Russian collusion during and after the 2016 presidential campaign, so too did Joseph Biden literally threaten to withhold money from Ukraine if it failed to fire the prosecutor investigating his son’s company.
To hear the media tell it, Trump committed treason. The walls are closing in. The end is nigh. Why? Well, the details there are a little fuzzy, as they always seem to be. Somebody heard it from a friend who heard it from a friend who heard it from another that Trump had threatened Ukraine that it must investigate Hunter Biden, the troubled son of Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden...or else.
The media initially hyped their latest faux scandal by claiming a deeply connected "whistleblower" listened to a phone call between Trump and the head of Ukraine’s government, in which Trump allegedly threatened to withhold money if the Baltic nation failed to investigate allegations of corruption by Hunter Biden. Then it morphed into the source reading a transcript or readout of the phone call. And eventually it was buried in the 22nd paragraph of a breathless CNN story that the alleged "whistleblower" hadn’t in fact directly read or seen or heard anything he or she was allegedly blowing the whistle on:
[PJMedia] ..."All I ever wanted as a gay person was equality and dignity under the law. Now that we have that, I don't really care what other people think. It simply doesn't matter. You can't legislate approval."
— Brandon Straka, founder of the #Walkaway movement
The LGBT community, as they call themselves, are a bunch of scummy communists and Democratic partisans who don't care a fig for anybody other than themselves and their ideology.
There is nothing abnormal about being gay. But our (their? I am gay, but hardly a part of this community) have destroyed the entire group, militarized the identity to make it into yet another weapon for the Democratic Party and betrayed their people. They are no different than the disgusting "activists" who purport to represent every other liberal identity group, including women. A history of oppression had been seized upon and grabbed by people who just want to put their boot on the throats of others rather than actually wanting the freedom they always claimed they did. It isn't surprising. Progressives, collectivists generally, destroy everything that they touch.
I was isolated from the community when I told everyone else that I believed that gay marriage should be decided by vote at the state level and that the court rulings would set our movement back by years or decades. I am proven more correct every passing year as these worthless creatures grasp for more ways to put the screws on everybody who might disagree with them and exclude everybody who doesn't match their freakish image of LGBT from allegedly community spaces.
A multi-volume chronology and reference guide set detailing three years of the Mexican Drug War between 2010 and 2012.
Rantburg.com and borderlandbeat.com correspondent and author Chris Covert presents his first non-fiction work detailing
the drug and gang related violence in Mexico.
Chris gives us Mexican press dispatches of drug and gang war violence
over three years, presented in a multi volume set intended to chronicle the death, violence and mayhem which has
dominated Mexico for six years.