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Yasser on his deathbed?
Today's Headlines
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Page 1: WoT Operations
6 00:00 Bomb-a-rama [6516] 
5 00:00 Super Hose [6464] 
13 00:00 Super Hose [6470] 
3 00:00 Super Hose [6472] 
8 00:00 Alaska Paul [6467] 
4 00:00 Charles [6469] 
8 00:00 Frank G [6471] 
3 00:00 CrazyFool [6464] 
1 00:00 .com [6468] 
3 00:00 Charles [6469] 
Page 2: WoT Background
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16 00:00 Anonymous [6478]
3 00:00 Bomb-a-rama [6467]
23 00:00 Jarhead [6528]
2 00:00 Super Hose [6494]
17 00:00 Jarhead [6494]
3 00:00 Kelvin Zero [6466]
6 00:00 Not Mike Moore [6476]
5 00:00 Super Hose [6463]
17 00:00 Fred [6462]
2 00:00 OldSpook [6464]
5 00:00 TerrorHunter4Ever [6465]
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6 00:00 liberalhawk [6466]
7 00:00 Bomb-a-rama [6466]
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2 00:00 Alaska Paul [6465]
Page 3: Non-WoT
6 00:00 Jeff [6476]
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6 00:00 Fred [6460]
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3 00:00 True German Ally [6467]
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Page 4: Opinion
4 00:00 Alaska Paul [6464]
2 00:00 Not Mike Moore [6471]
10 00:00 Atrus [6468]
Page 5: Local News
7 00:00 Joe [6464]
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16 00:00 Bulldog [6472]
3 00:00 Frank G [6461]
-Short Attention Span Theater-
Yukon mothers latch on to breast-feeding title
If any contestant scores above a two, I demand an immediate recount.
The women of Yukon have defended their North American title in a breastfeeding contest held this weekend.
"Bartender! Line 'em up! Milk for everyone!"
America failed to defeat them due to our misconception that volume was going to be the judging criteria. We sent Anna Nichole Smith with no teammates. Our mistake.
On the second floor of a bakery in Whitehorse, 36 women began a countdown, then simultaneously latched their babies on to their breasts. In two other places in the northern territory — Dawson City and Haines Junction — groups of women also placed their children in sucking position at exactly 11 a.m. on Saturday, in a contest referred to as The Great Canadian Breastfeeding Suck-In on one of the organizer's Web site.
The whole idea sucks. Sorry, I couldn't help that.
Yukon beat out other provinces and states, earning the distinction as "2003 Challenge Winner." The contestants were judged based on the number of babies sucking at once as a percentage of all babies born in the area.
Were no style points available?
"We counted down — 10, 9, 8, 7 ... Everyone latch on! Then we counted how many women were breast-feeding at once," said Brenda Dedon, a public health nurse who ran the event in Whitehorse and also participated, with her 18-month-old, Naomi, feeding on cue.
Hey, get that biker guy out of here. He's too old and that 10 year old kid too.
In Toronto, new mothers gathered in the middle of downtown in a bid to make it into the Guinness World Records, a title held by women in California. Only 24 mothers turned up for the event, hosted by INFACT Canada — the Infant Feeding Action Coalition.
I intend to remove the sucking section from my Guiness book immediately... unless there are pictures.
Women were competing in the third annual breast-feeding challenge as part of World Breastfeeding Week, organized by the Quintessence Foundation, a non-profit group that urged women to participate in order to "to combat breastmilk substitutes."
At least they aren't blowing anything up. I support their right to express themselves.
Nunavut and the Northwest Territories came in second and third in the contest that involved more than 2,000 babies latching on at 133 different locations.
There were more than two locations available? That's odd...
Victoria won a secondary category, with the highest total number of babies breast-feeding in one location (112 babies), followed by Vancouver (110) and Honolulu (83). British Columbia had the most babies feeding at once across the province (748), followed by Ontario (406) and Newfoundland and Labrador (238). Although Yukon won the contest based on its birth rate, British Columbia women are more notorious for their support of breast-feeding, said Elizabeth Sterken, director of INFACT Canada. "British Columbia is the breastfeeding California of Canada."
California has disputed the results saying that several of their participants were unfairly disqualified for not having been naturally ... ah ... strictly speaking feminine ... I mean... originally... so to speak.
She said women in the North likely won the top three places because "there is a real strong emphasis on all things natural."
Was that verified, as well?
Posted by: Superhose || 10/07/2003 11:08:02 AM || Comments || Link || E-Mail|| [6467 views] Top|| File under:

#1  "I've got nipples - could you milk me, Fokker?"
Posted by: Frank G || 10/07/2003 11:11 Comments || Top||

#2  Time for your medication, Frank! :-)
Posted by: Dar || 10/07/2003 11:36 Comments || Top||

#3  Ahhhh,Mamma's milk.
How sweet it is.
Posted by: Raptor || 10/07/2003 11:38 Comments || Top||

#4  This story is UTTER nonsense!
Posted by: Cyber Sarge (VRWC CA Chapter) || 10/07/2003 12:26 Comments || Top||

#5  Were the men allowed to watch, or just sold video tapes after?
Posted by: Charles || 10/07/2003 13:25 Comments || Top||

#6  Cyber Sarge---You ain't seen notin' yet!

Yukon Women

It's a dusty, dirty town to be living in
It's a dirty, driving, dusty wind that blows
It's a dirty, lousy shame this place ain't got no name
It ain't heaven, it ain't hell, but ain't it home.

I ain't seen any green since last November
Ain't tooken off my boots since last July
I ain't been messin' up my mind more than half the time
But honey, don't you bet I didn't try.

'Cause I'm one of those
Rough, loose, raw and rugged, Yukon women are we
We wear plaid jackets and we build our own cabins
And we all vote NDP--independently.

Yeah, we're in top condition and we go on long hikes
And we aren't afraid of bears
We wear woolly socks, woolly shirts, woolly woollies
'Til it gets kinda itchy under there
And we go in the sauna with no clothes on
And if the boys look we don't care
We've got liberated views on who's lovin' whose And we don't shave our armpit hair.

Yeah, we're rough, loose, raw and rugged Yukon women are we
We wear plaid jackets and we build our own cabins
And we all drink rosehip tea--independently.
Yeah, we're rough, loose, raw and rugged Yukon women are we!

Posted by: Alaska Paul || 10/07/2003 13:29 Comments || Top||

#7  Got a source for this?
Posted by: Fred || 10/07/2003 15:11 Comments || Top||

#8  Here is the source. I heard this one in Juneau. Ah the mammaries er memories! The song about Lady Franklin is also a great one. The best version was sung by Irish fiddler Kevin Burke. Even flew my plane around the area where Franklin wintered and died. Back to the Yukon. It is a great place. Still alot of gold mining going on. Dawson is a great place to visit. Also Whitehorse.
Posted by: Alaska Paul || 10/07/2003 15:40 Comments || Top||

Yemen Nabs Cole Blast Suspect Months After Jailbreak
Yemeni police have detained two al Qaeda suspects, including one accused of involvement in an attack on the U.S. warship Cole who had escaped from jail earlier this year, a security official said on Tuesday. The official said security forces were still looking for eight other al Qaeda suspects who broke out with the two men from a prison in the southern port city of Aden in April. He declined to say whether Jamal al-Badawi, a chief suspect in the October 2000 attack, was one of the two men detained.
"I can say no more."
Yemeni officials had promised a "generous reward" for information leading to the arrest of the 10.
Posted by: Steve || 10/07/2003 2:25:58 PM || Comments || Link || E-Mail|| [6472 views] Top|| File under:

#1  Lets offer a reward for all the aiders and abetters as well.
Posted by: Superhose || 10/07/2003 15:09 Comments || Top||

#2  Superhose---better get a fundraiser going first....
Posted by: Alaska Paul || 10/07/2003 18:42 Comments || Top||

#3  You remeber Odd Job from the 007 movies. I think his brother Inside Job works in the Yemenese prison system.
Posted by: Super Hose || 10/07/2003 19:06 Comments || Top||

Details on the Bahrain bombing...
In Manama, a police officer who suffered severe burns in a petrol-bomb attack is "critical but stable," a Bahraini hospital said Saturday, as the king vowed the government would show no tolerance for terrorists. Fazal Rehman, 34, a Pakistani national, was one of six Bahraini policemen wounded when assailants threw Molotov cocktails into a police bus as it was driving through a large town southeast of the capital on Thursday night.
I wonder if the other cops were Pakistani nationals, too?
Rehman suffered 60 per cent burns to his body and is "in critical but stable condition," and employee of the Salmaniyah hospital, Manama, told The Associated Press on Saturday. He is expected to undergo surgery soon. The other four wounded policemen have been discharged after receiving treatment for minor burns. Nobody has claimed responsibility for the attack, which the government blamed on "unidentified terrorists."
Well, they're terrorists, and they don't know who they are yet, so I guess that's the category to leave them in for now. But...
The place where the attack occurred, Sitra, is an overwhelmingly Shiite Muslim town and home to many opposition supporters. During the unrest of the mid-1990s, which was fueled by Shiite demands for political rights and jobs, Sitra was a hotbed of anti-government sentiment. Shiites enjoy a slight majority of Bahrain's 400,000 citizens, but the ruling family is from the Muslim Sunni sect. Addressing the interior minister and security chiefs on Saturday, the king, Sheikh Hamad bin Isa Al Khalifa,said terrorism challenged the country's democratic revival.
We ran his remarks a couple days ago...
The king has taken big strides toward turning Bahrain into a constitutional monarchy in the past four years. Last year, the country held its first legislative elections since 1973. But several Shiite-dominated opposition groups, notably the Al-Wefaq National Islamic Society, boycotted the polls because the constitution provides for an upper house of parliament that is appointed by the king. They have also called on the government to employ more Shiites in the Defense and Interior Ministries.
Bus bombing in Karachi, full of Shiites... bus bombing in Manama, full of... Paks? Could this be Dire Revenge™?
Posted by: Fred Pruitt || 10/07/2003 00:54 || Comments || Link || E-Mail|| [6468 views] Top|| File under:

#1  The "king" has begun to rue the day he declared his stupid amnesty for the Bahrani wacko-troublemakers - carefully picked out and exiled by the Little Emir. I miss that guy, he was a fascinating character.
Posted by: .com || 10/07/2003 4:21 Comments || Top||

Mourners vow Dire Revenge™ for Azam Tariq
Hundreds of emotionally charged mourners have rampaged through the Pakistani capital, following funeral prayers for member of Parliament, Azam Tariq who was bumped off gunned down on Monday. Police gave chase to the angry mobs after they pelted cars with rocks, torched a cinema in the Melody market and set ablaze a Shia mosque in the Aabpara neighbourhood. An employee of the Melody cinema, identified as Ghafoor, was killed. He was sleeping inside when mobs set the cinema on fire. "He was brought to the hospital dead," said Dr Rashid Qurashi.
"Kill the infidel cinema usher!"
Another six people were being treated at the Polyclinic hospital for burns, smoke inhalation and cuts sustained when they tried to flee the blazing cinema. Smoke was billowing from a petrol station where crowds had set fire to jerry cans full of petrol, an AFP reporter at the scene said.
"Yeeee-haw! Some funeral, ain't it Mahmoud?"
At least a dozen vehicles were damaged near the cinema. "We will revenge your martyrdom, we will revenge your killing," mourners chanted earlier at the funeral prayers.
"We will have Dire Revenge™! We must have Dire Revenge™!"
Sunni leader Maulana Abd al-Hafeez Hazari led the funeral prayers, which were followed by fiery speeches and face-making and jumping up and down from fellow clerics close to Tariq. "Those who are behind this killing will not be spared," Maulana Masud al-Rahman Osmani told the crowd.
"Bloooooood! Gooooore! Dire Revenge™!"
Posted by: Fred Pruitt || 10/07/2003 16:02 || Comments || Link || E-Mail|| [6464 views] Top|| File under:

#1  Wow.. they're not blaming it on Americans.
Posted by: Dishman || 10/07/2003 17:23 Comments || Top||

#2  yet...Mossad and Merkins will come up, you can be sure
Posted by: Frank G || 10/07/2003 17:48 Comments || Top||

#3  They haven't figured out a good story yet to blame it on us. Creative writing staff had the day off.
Posted by: OminousWhatever || 10/07/2003 17:49 Comments || Top||

#4  Hey! Blazing cinema in a Muslim country? Looks like a new porn flick's in town...
Posted by: tu3031 || 10/07/2003 19:15 Comments || Top||

#5  Dire Revenge has gotten kind of blasse. There are more dead after a Great White concert in RI.
Posted by: Super Hose || 10/07/2003 19:33 Comments || Top||

No half-measures on sectarianism
We have often editorialised on this issue and pointed out to the authorities that there is no real distinction between sectarian terrorists and the so-called jihadis. Since the militant groups fighting inside Afghanistan and Kashmir were Wahhabi-Deobandi, a free hand to them by the state meant they would also pursue a sectarian agenda. There is enough evidence to suggest that cadres of the so-called jihadi organisations also doubled, in many cases, as sectarian terrorists. For instance, it is futile to distinguish among groups like Harkat-ul Mujahideen, Jaish-e Mohammad, Sipah-e-Sahaba Pakistan and Lashkar-e Jhangvi as jihadi or sectarian. Putting jihadi and sectarian tags on one or the other is a futile, in fact downright dangerous, exercise.

The Hazara Shia in Quetta had to endure two dastardly attacks which killed more than sixty and left over 100 injured. The Shia clerics categorically accused Jaish and LJ activists. At least one of them went to the extent of also obliquely blaming the Jamiat-e-Ulema-e-Islam, the two factions of which are components of the Mutahidda Majlis-e-Amal. The general tendency so far has been to accuse the Indian RAW of perpetrating these attacks even as, in all cases where the police have managed to apprehend the terrorists, it is clear who they are and what groups they belong to.

Such is the level of hatred now that following the killing of Shia Hazara, two Sunni boys were allegedly torn to pieces by a Shia mob, though the story never made it to the newspapers. While Daily Times could not get it corroborated by any official source, the incident is widely known in Balochistan. Regardless of its veracity, it hardly needs be emphasised that no decent society can allow this kind of violence to go unchallenged.
But we're talking about Pakistan, land of Bugtis and hudood...
General Pervez Musharraf has, on many occasions, talked about curbing extremism. But so far the government has failed to put down this scourge. We are also concerned about why leaders of banned extremist groups like Jaish continue to be treated as VIPs. There can be no half-measures on this score. The sectarian serpent's head has to be cut off. This can only be done by striking where it matters the most, at the level of top leadership. But while sectarianism must be treated as a priority law-and-order problem in the short-term, in the longer run the government needs to take a more integrated approach to the problem. That is where we need to address the question of what is it that produces sectarian hatred? A debate on this question would involve looking at societal tendencies that have developed over the past two decades. Have we become more intolerant and bigoted? Are we now wearing religion on the sleeve? Do we consider apostate anyone who does not share our worldview or denominational particularities?
Yes... Yes... And yes.
General Musharraf's talk about modernising Pakistan will remain just that, mere talk, unless he were to take concrete measures to address these deep-seated prejudices and distortions. It's time for him to walk the talk.
Posted by: Paul Moloney || 10/07/2003 3:02:10 AM || Comments || Link || E-Mail|| [6471 views] Top|| File under:

#1  Maybe Musharraf is not as courageous as he should be it is pity and a great loss for Pakistan.
Posted by: Murat || 10/07/2003 3:30 Comments || Top||

#2  From all that I've read, and I have made an effort to follow it all, Pakiland is well beyond hope - and Musharraf is screwed, no matter what he tries to do. The entire place seems divided into a myriad number of equally insane factions - and this includes everyone: the military, the rainbow of "religious" twits, secular progressives, political parties, and the general public.

Is there any hope, any at all, for Pakiland? Perhaps a radioactive smoking hole on a calm day is about the best that the rest of the world can hope for.

I defer to Fred, Paul Maloney, and the others who have made the Herculean effort to make sense of it and keep up with all of the players. Perhaps they can prognosticate / oraculate whither Pakiland goeth.
Posted by: .com || 10/07/2003 4:46 Comments || Top||

#3  I would not be suprised if Pakistan becomes a mixture of Somalia and Afghanistan with Nuclear weapons and 300 million people.
Posted by: Paul Moloney || 10/07/2003 7:21 Comments || Top||

#4  Sheesh - now that's a picture I don't relish seeing come true. I'll pull for the smokin' hole outcome... ;^{
Posted by: .com || 10/07/2003 9:51 Comments || Top||

#5  It seems to me that the Paks have been so brainwashed, they are quite happy to let Pakland burn for the cause. In the same way that a suicide bomber is willing to blow himself up if it means a few Jews would get killed, Pakland seems to be wearing a giant suicide belt when it comes to India. They are willing to tolerate and in fact encourage all the internal strife if they can direct just some of it in India's direction. I really think that everyone needs to help pakland achieve martyrdom once and for all.
Posted by: rg117 || 10/07/2003 11:43 Comments || Top||

#6  Pakland seems to be wearing a giant suicide belt

You got your beer belt, your wine belt, your bible belt, your rust belt and now....
Posted by: Shipman || 10/07/2003 12:48 Comments || Top||

#7  Can't forget sunbelt.
Posted by: Brian || 10/07/2003 13:39 Comments || Top||

#8  I expect to see most Pakis in the Van Allen belt before 10 yrs come to pass
Posted by: Frank G || 10/07/2003 18:31 Comments || Top||

US troops seal off Baghdad neighborhood, reportedly search for Saddam
BAGHDAD (AFP) - US troops backed by armoured vehicles sealed off a Baghdad neighborhood, saying they were searching for former regime leaders after what police said was a tip-off Saddam Hussein was in the area.
"We're conducting an operation against former regime loyalists and possible blacklist members," US Major John Frisbee told AFP.
"We have reports that some of these people have been spotted," he said, adding: "We will try to catch them."
He said the troops were also searching buildings in the area that may serve as safe houses for supporters of Saddam, who has been in hiding since US troops toppled him on April 9.
An Iraqi policeman, who asked not to be named, said one person claimed to have seen the fugitive (news - Y! TV) ex-leader in a car in the area.
An employee at the Cedar Hotel, within the area sealed off with barbed wire and several dozen armored military vehicles, said US troops asked him whether he had seen Saddam.
A Turkish guest at the hotel, Gulin Pasturk, said a US soldier had told her Tuesday evening "Saddam was seen here 10 minutes ago."
US forces searched the hotel, but declined to say whether they were looking for Saddam.
"We're sealing off the perimeter, that's all I can say," said one of the soldiers, who would only identify himself as Staff Sergeant Stevens, as the troops unrolled barbed wire between the Cedar Hotel and the Al-Rimal hotel facing it.
A large area of Baghdad's Karada neighborhood was sealed off with residents and guests, among them several foreign correspondents, prevented from entering or leaving the area where at least 100 soldiers were deployed.
Posted by: Yosemite Sam || 10/07/2003 3:50:06 PM || Comments || Link || E-Mail|| [6470 views] Top|| File under:

#1  Yasser's going down, now if we catch Saddam it'll be a good day!
Posted by: Atrus || 10/07/2003 15:51 Comments || Top||

#2  In my perfect world - this would close the trifecta. Get rid of Saddam, Arafat, and Davis all in 1 day. Dare to dream.....
Posted by: Yosemite Sam || 10/07/2003 15:52 Comments || Top||

#3  It would be so *cool* if it was an Iraqi who arrests him.
Posted by: CrazyFool || 10/07/2003 16:12 Comments || Top||

#4  48 hour rule in effect, people. Oh, and sombody warn Fred's neighbors about the ululating.
Posted by: Steve || 10/07/2003 16:24 Comments || Top||

#5  I'm getting warmed up just in case.

Posted by: eyeyeye || 10/07/2003 16:59 Comments || Top||

#6  Yassar Going.
Davis Going.
Saddam ???
Come on guys hit the trifecta!
Posted by: Cyber Sarge (VRWC CA Chapter) || 10/07/2003 17:02 Comments || Top||

#7  What are the odds on Saddam being caught in drag?
Posted by: Anonymous plus one || 10/07/2003 17:33 Comments || Top||

#8  He's sucking in his cheeks to try and pass as Geraldo Rivera.
Posted by: El Id || 10/07/2003 17:41 Comments || Top||

#9  Which cheeks is he sucking in? And whose?

Hey, you said he was trying to pass as Geraldo. It's hard to tell with him...
Posted by: Robert Crawford || 10/07/2003 18:50 Comments || Top||

#10  If he is in drag I hope someone is there with a camera to catch it.

So how would they check under veils so as to not offend anyone? Have a woman check?

Posted by: CrazyFool || 10/07/2003 18:53 Comments || Top||

#11  US Major John Frisbee told AFP

Hell this is just a good Merkin boy having fun with frogs.
Posted by: Shipman || 10/07/2003 19:00 Comments || Top||

#12  Sadaam, Davis, and Yasser? Add the Cubs and Red Soxs into the equation and what does it mean?

God is working overtime on our wish lists.
Posted by: Charles || 10/07/2003 19:34 Comments || Top||

#13  If they catch him in Baghdad, I'ld want a Kevlar umbrella before I walked the streets tonight. The forecast says a hale of lead will fall.
Posted by: Super Hose || 10/07/2003 19:36 Comments || Top||

Southeast Asia
Four dead after hostage crisis in Philippines
Three policemen and a Muslim Abu Sayyaf guerrilla have been killed at the end of a hostage crisis in the Philippine national police headquarters. "Three policemen and the hostage taker were killed," said police chief investigator Eduardo Matillano, adding that three other officers were wounded in the three-hour hostage crisis. The Abu Sayyaf guerrilla, identified as Buyungan Byngkak, was being held for the bombing of a southern Philippines pub that left several people including a US serviceman dead last year. He grabbed a rifle from a guard to begin a three-hour standoff with hundreds of police special forces men outside the jail. One police hostage was shot in the head while two of the police officers who came to his aid were killed as they stormed the building, police spokesmen said. The hostage-taker was later shot dead, while three other policemen were wounded, Mr Matillano said.
Posted by: Fred Pruitt || 10/07/2003 01:11 || Comments || Link || E-Mail|| [6464 views] Top|| File under:

#1  Learning prisoner handling procedures the hard way...
Posted by: PBMcL || 10/07/2003 1:31 Comments || Top||

#2  Details: National police chief Hermogenes Ebdane swiftly ordered the relief of Superintendent Rosueto Ricaforte, chief of the division where the hostage-taking occurred. Asked by reporters about the handling of the incident, a visibly irritated Ebdane retorted, "this isn't like a movie."
He said Bungkak and several other detainees had been let out of the prison building without handcuffs for an early morning walk outside because that "is one of the privileges supposed to be afforded to any detainee." Bungkak then allegedly grabbed an M-16 rifle and a pistol from one of the jail guards and took cover in another building in the Criminal Investigation and Detection Group compound. Elite Special Action Force members, garbed in black and carrying a battering ram, surrounded the building.
Tear gas was fired before the building was stormed. A police hostage was shot in the head while two of the officers who came to his aid were also killed as they stormed the building where Abu Sayyaf member Buyungan Bungkak was holed up, police spokesmen said. Three other policemen were also wounded in the firefight on Camp Crame, which ended when the detainee was cornered and shot dead in a bathroom, said police chief investigator Eduardo Matillano. In response to the fiasco, Arroyo ordered the government to speed up the construction of a maximum security jail in the police headquarters that was begun after al-Ghozi's escape.

I'd begin the investigation with the guard who let his rifle and pistol be "grabbed".
Posted by: Steve || 10/07/2003 9:20 Comments || Top||

#3  ...an early morning walk outside because that "is one of the privileges supposed to be afforded to any detainee."

Sounds like a privilege which needs to be revoked for high-security risk prisoners don't you think?
Posted by: CrazyFool || 10/07/2003 11:44 Comments || Top||

Middle East
Arafat has suffered heart attack, admits aide
Yasser Arafat has suffered a mild heart attack but the Palestinian leadership has sought to keep his health problems secret for fear it will "create panic".
"Omigawd! A heart attack! I've had a heart attack! Oh, Lawd!"
"Yasser! Calm down! You'll give yourself..."
"A heart attack!"
The 74-year-old Palestinian president, who is suffering from Parkinson's disease, disappeared from public view last week and re-emerged at the weekend looking extremely ill. His face was pale and pinched, he had lost weight and he was almost inaudible. He had trouble standing for more than a few minutes at a time. The Palestinian press said he was suffering from flu. But Palestinian officials told the Guardian that Mr Arafat had suffered a heart attack last week. "Although he has had a slight heart attack, the doctors say he will make a full recovery. He is in full control. There is nothing to worry about," said a close aide to Mr Arafat, who did not wish to be named.
"Nothing to see here. Move along... Mahmoud! Catch him! He's doing it again!"
Asked why it had not been made public at the time, the official said that it would "have created panic at a critical time when the Israelis are threatening Arafat's life".
"Yasser! Calm down! It ain't a heart attack! It's... ummm... flu."
"It's a heart attack! I can tell! Lookit me! My lips are all blue!"
"Mahmoud, don't feed him that pie anymore..."
At the beginning of last week, the Palestinian president was visited by his personal physician from Jordan, Dr Ashraf al-Kurdi, and a heart specialist, Yousuf al-Qusous, after he abruptly cancelled all appointments and disappeared from view. The doctors said the Palestinian president had been hit by flu but was recovered. "The illness is over, thank God," Dr Kurdi said at the time.
"I'm gonna die! (Blubber!) ..."
But a few days later, Mr Arafat was again isolated from all but a few close aides. Again, the official explanation was flu.
"Mahmoud! The defibrillator, dammit!"
Sources inside the Palestinian leader's compound in Ramallah say he was too weak to eat for several days. When he reappeared at the weekend, regular visitors to Mr Arafat's compound commented on how ill he looked.
"Yasser! You look like spit!"
Yesterday, the Palestinian foreign minister, Nabil Shaath, said Mr Arafat was suffering from a stomach ailment which was believed to be an ulcer. He described him as "very frail".
"Stand him up, Mahmoud!"
Israeli officials say the Palestinian president's health is not a factor as the government considers whether or not to carry out its threat to exile, or even kill, Mr Arafat. "It would be very convenient if nature were to take its course," said an Israeli foreign ministry official, Jonathan Peled. "But Mr Arafat is a cat with nine lives and we do not believe he has used all of them yet."
"On the other hand, if he keels over, that's fine with us."
If Mr Arafat require medical treatment that is not available in Ramallah, he would be likely to travel to Egypt or Jordan but only if Israel permits him to return to the West Bank. Mr Peled said the government would be happy to see Mr Arafat leave but was unlikely to allow him to return.
"How 'bout a 1-way ticket to St. Helena?"
The Egyptian press recently reported that Mr Arafat has sought the help of the government in Cairo to ensure that when he dies he is buried next to the Aqsa mosque in Jerusalem, Islam's third holiest site. Israel would have to give its consent for Mr Arafat's body to be moved from Ramallah to Jerusalem. Israeli officials say that would be unlikely in the present climate.
"Why not just leave him in Ramallah? That'd make it the 943rd holiest place in Islam..."
Mr Arafat was on hand yesterday for the swearing-in of an emergency government led by the new prime minister, Ahmed Qurei.
"See? See? I ain't dead!... Not yet, anyway. (Blubber!) "
But the new administration is already beset by power struggles over crucial issues such as control of the Palestinian security forces. Khalil Shikaki, a leading Palestinian political analyst, said Mr Qurei's government was unlikely to ease the conflict with Israel. "I don't expect this government to deliver very much on the two main issues that confront the Palestinians, political reform and security," he said. "The reform process was destroyed by Arafat when he equated it to disloyalty. The previous government had a much better chance to bring peace because it had the 'road map' [the US-led peace plan] and a ceasefire from Hamas. That is all gone."
G'bye, road map...
"Today, escalation is the dominant theme. Sooner or later the Israelis will expel or kill Arafat, and invade Gaza and reoccupy it. The logic of the Israeli policy is escalation."
Posted by: Frank G || 10/07/2003 9:58:05 PM || Comments || Link || E-Mail|| [6516 views] Top|| File under:

#1  Fred - I've had too much champagne celebrating Arnold's victory to comment, and wouldn't have done justice to yours. I bow to the master ;-)

Arafish needs to be netted and disposd of soon before he starts to really smell
Posted by: Frank G || 10/07/2003 22:26 Comments || Top||

#2  The Israelis should start detonating ridiculously loud noise bombs outside Arafat's HQ every night in the middle of the night to finish him off. Or maybe they can use their death ray . . .
Posted by: Tibor || 10/07/2003 22:34 Comments || Top||

#3  "It's the big one, Suha! I'm comin' to join ya!"

Yasser & Fred -- Separated at death?
Posted by: snellenr || 10/07/2003 22:50 Comments || Top||

#4  Attach a few more truck batteries to The Death Ray. A few more amps oughta do it.
Posted by: tu3031 || 10/07/2003 23:05 Comments || Top||

#5  NO! I just wouldn't be able to stand it if that walking pustule dies peacefully in bed.
Posted by: Mercutio || 10/07/2003 23:18 Comments || Top||

#6  ..."Ahm comin' 'Lizabeth! Ahm comin'!!!!"...
Posted by: Bomb-a-rama || 10/08/2003 0:11 Comments || Top||

IDF nabs two Palestinians on way to suicide attacks
JPost - Reg Req'd
Two Palestinians on their way to carry out suicide attacks in Israel were captured overnight Monday by IDF troops near the West Bank city of Jenin. IDF Lt. Col. Mordechai told Israel Radio that the terrorists were nabbed during a routine IDF operation in the Jenin area. "As long as bombers head out from the West Bank villages, then the [Palestinian] residents will have to understand that their life can not go on as normal." Mordechai said.
cause/effect lesson #5,342
Posted by: Frank G || 10/07/2003 8:49:51 AM || Comments || Link || E-Mail|| [6469 views] Top|| File under:

#1  Don't ya think they (IDF) should have tried an operational test.

Posted by: Anonymous || 10/07/2003 9:11 Comments || Top||

#2  Yep. Better yet, re-test the detonator back at the shop that makes it.
Posted by: BigFire || 10/07/2003 10:50 Comments || Top||

#3  "As long as bombers head out from the West Bank villages, then the [Palestinian] residents will have to understand that their life can not go on as normal." Mordechai said.

Bombers heading out from West Bank villages. That's about as clear a justification of the building of the wall as could ever be made.
Posted by: Bomb-a-rama || 10/07/2003 11:56 Comments || Top||

#4  IDF should mail the bombs to the UN. And when the French ambassador starts denying it's a bomb, blow him up using the " simple vest " he's holding.
Posted by: Charles || 10/07/2003 13:50 Comments || Top||

Israeli soldier killed on Lebanese border
A Israeli soldier has been shot dead in an exchange of fire across the tense Lebanon-Israeli border. Israeli troops came under fire from the Lebanese side of the border Monday evening, said Al jazeera's correspondent in Israel quoting local security sources. Two other soldiers were reportedly wounded. In a separate incident, a Lebanese boy was killed in unclear circumstances early Tuesday morning. Israel said Hezbollah fighters were responsible for the killing of its soldier. But the Lebanese resistance group has denied its forces were involved.
"Maybe he fell?"
In response, Israeli troops returned fire and hit a bus travelling along a normally secure road near the border between the villages of Adayseh and Kfarkila, agencies reported. There were no casualties, Lebanese police said.
Posted by: Fred Pruitt || 10/07/2003 00:24 || Comments || Link || E-Mail|| [6469 views] Top|| File under:

#1  "...Al jazeera’s correspondent in Israel..."

W T F ???
Posted by: .com || 10/07/2003 6:08 Comments || Top||

#2  The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette is reporting that soldier was from Pittsburgh originally. He was short--set to leave the army this coming Sunday.
Posted by: Dar || 10/07/2003 11:57 Comments || Top||

#3  They killed a US citizen? Oh, now you're going to get it!
Posted by: Charles || 10/07/2003 13:54 Comments || Top||

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Two weeks of WOT
Tue 2003-10-07
  Yasser on his deathbed?
Mon 2003-10-06
  Azam Tariq late!
Sun 2003-10-05
  Israel bombs IJ target in Syria
Sat 2003-10-04
  20 dead in Haifa boom
Fri 2003-10-03
  Suspected Saddam executioner caught
Thu 2003-10-02
  Pakistan kills 12 al Qaeda
Wed 2003-10-01
  Senate Panel OKs Bush $87B Iraq Plan
Tue 2003-09-30
  Jug time for teenage exploding Islamic hookers
Mon 2003-09-29
  AMC's Alamoudi jugged
Sun 2003-09-28
  Afghan Constitution Proposes Muslim State
Sat 2003-09-27
  Guilty plea in Portland
Fri 2003-09-26
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Thu 2003-09-25
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Wed 2003-09-24
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