Boost, huh? Call my broker...
June 6, 2007 -- A Harlem man has filed suit against the makers of the nutritional drink Boost, charging that the protein shake gave him the wrong kind of lift. Christopher Woods said that drinking cans of Boost Plus Nutritional Energy Drink left him with an erection that wouldn't go away. Woods gets wood. Film at eleven...
Any word on where you can buy that stuff?
According to papers filed in Manhattan Supreme Court, Woods was "caused to suffer and sustain severe bodily injuries" from "the erection that would not subside. It gave me a lot of energy - too much energy," Woods, 29, told The Post yesterday. Hi, I'm Chris the Human Tripod...
"In the event of an erection lasting more than four hours seek immediate professional help."
"It was unbearable and embarrassing." ...and not only that, but my phone's ringing off the hook.
He said he had to undergo two medical procedures for relief from the days-long erection, and as a result, he's now partially impotent. "Partially" impotent? Like, what, not enough air in the tire? Or is this the male version of "I got a headache"?
"It's affecting my life because I'm not getting the pleasure I used to," Woods said. But I am getting more of it...
The suit, which seeks unspecified monetary damages for Woods' "pain, shock and mental anguish," names the drink's former manufacturer, Mead Johnson, and its current one, Novartis. Mead Johnson said it no longer has anything to do with the drink, and reps for Novartis did not return calls for comment. Nope. Won't touch this one with a ten foot pole.
Wait. Let me rephrase that...
The Woods vs. Johnson case dates to June 2004, which is when he said his mother bought him a case of the protein drink in hopes he would bulk up. Well, he did. Kinda...
"Wanna see my muscle?"
"It was supposed to be a health supplement," he said. The suit says he used the "product in accordance with its intended use" - and soon had a very visible side effect. Woah, buddy, you having a circus under that?
He said the erection lasted for over three days, and his girlfriend "was in disbelief. She couldn't understand what was happening." But she wasn't too pissed off, I'll tell ya that...
Except for the blisters, of course...
"It was awful. It was painful. I would always wear jeans, but it was hard to go out, so I had to buy some sweatpants," Woods said. Shit, why would you leave the house?
To buy more?
He said his 7-year-old son asked him what was going on and "I didn't know what to tell him." He should've said, "Daddy's gonna be famous"...
He saw a doctor and underwent a "winter shunt" - a painful procedure where a needle is used to drain blood. The suit says he experienced "persistent problems requiring a follow-up hospital visit" a week later. I wonder what a "summer shunt" does? Pumps it back in?
Woods said he was given two choices - undergo either an embolization, where blood is blocked from going to the arteries, or an amputation. Oooooh, there's a tough choice...
He chose the former, but it has made it difficult for him to get a full erection and left him in "a state of discomfort." Woods said the experience has affected his love life because it's made him very self-conscious. If it was me, I'd put up billboards...
CHILDISH staffers at the "Today" show have been reduced to homophobic name-calling about their rivals at "Good Morning America" - Diane Sawyer, Chris Cuomo, Robin Roberts and Sam Champion. A network source says, " 'Today' staffers, from top to bottom, executives to interns, refer to 'GMA' as 'Gay-MA' " and snicker about the hosts. "GMA" has been gaining in the ratings on No. 1 "Today" and cut its lead in half. For their part, the "GMA" folks are said to refer to "Today" as "Yesterday." Reps for both shows declined to comment.
Posted by: Mike ||
06/06/2007 08:36 ||
Comments ||
Link ||
[1 views]
Top|| File under:
#1
Rivalries can be good motivators to do better. But these are journalists and I don't expect much better.
Posted by: Bobby ||
06/06/2007 6:52 Comments ||
Top||
#2
Weakened pretty quickly before landfall. Assuming they don't have New Orleans-style levees, it looks like Oman dodged a bullet. Iran should get some needed rain out of it.
An another feel good story from beautiful south africa; HT African crisis.
Grahamstown - A hospital security guard behaved like an "animal" in raping and assaulting an elderly woman in front of her grandson, said Judge Elna Revelas in Grahamstown High Court on Monday.
She handed down a 20-year sentence on Zingisile Payi, 24, for the rape, committed last year, reported Grocott's Mail. Revelas said she almost sentenced him to life in jail, but found it mitigating that he was a young, first offender who was under the influence of alcohol at the time of the crime, and that his victim had only internal bleeding. Oh, well, it's no big deal then; I say, let this young man go free!
She found it aggravating that he had humiliated and violated the dignity of his 64-year-old victim in her own home by raping her twice in front of her grandchild, then "casually" bragging that he was her husband.
The woman had given Payi - a security guard at Maclear Hospital, near Mthatha - a place to stay for the night when he arrived at her house pretending to be a friend of her son. He assaulted her, then held her at knifepoint while raping her, threatening to shoot her if she screamed. Revelas said the woman must have been traumatised when she ran out of her house naked in the early hours of the morning to get help.
Although the judge said Payi deserved to be punished for his actions, she hoped he would be Rehabilitated in prison. "You will have time to think about these things in prison.
"You also will have an opportunity to study, get life skills and get involved in religious activities," she told him.
#1
Hey, the old lady should be grateful to this young fella for servicing her for free.
I wonder how her son feels about the sentence. Some sons might find it insufficient, and might be waiting for Payi to get out of prison and might then hang him from a utility pole with certain parts of his anatomy relocated. Just sayin', is all.
#2
I wonder if General Population in SA is as hospitable to rapists as it is in America. If it is, I'm sure the lovely lads there will be happy to help in his rehabilitation.
#3
Swamp - I think the general population of SA these days ARE rapists, in prison or not. The place, or at least a lot of it, is a mess, according to some travelers I have spoken with.
#4
who was under the influence of alcohol at the time of the crime,
Unless that the convicted had been forced at gun point to drink alcohol I fail to sse what being under ifluence should be considered a mitigating factor. If you tend to act badly when under influence then don't drink. Period.
Saudi authorities on Tuesday beheaded three Afghan citizens convicted of smuggling drugs into the country, the Interior Ministry said in a statement. The statement, carried by the official Saudi Press Agency, said Mohammed Qayoum Sakhi, Akbar Omar and Farid Jawid were arrested while trying to smuggle heroin into the kingdom. They were executed in the Red Sea port city of Jeddah.
Saudi Arabia follows a strict interpretation of Islam under which people convicted of murder, drug trafficking, rape and armed robbery can be executed. Tuesday's execution brought to 81 the number of people, including two women, beheaded in the kingdom this year. Executions are performed with a sword and in public as a deterrent. The kingdom beheaded 38 people last year and 83 people in 2005.
Posted by: Fred ||
06/06/2007 00:00 ||
Comments ||
Link ||
[3 views]
Top|| File under:
A multi-volume chronology and reference guide set detailing three years of the Mexican Drug War between 2010 and 2012.
Rantburg.com and borderlandbeat.com correspondent and author Chris Covert presents his first non-fiction work detailing
the drug and gang related violence in Mexico.
Chris gives us Mexican press dispatches of drug and gang war violence
over three years, presented in a multi volume set intended to chronicle the death, violence and mayhem which has
dominated Mexico for six years.
Rantburg was assembled from recycled algorithms in the United States of America. No
trees were destroyed in the production of this weblog. We did hurt some, though. Sorry.
CHILDISH staffers at the "Today" show have been reduced to homophobic name-calling about their rivals at "Good Morning America" - Diane Sawyer, Chris Cuomo, Robin Roberts and Sam Champion. A network source says, " 'Today' staffers, from top to bottom, executives to interns, refer to 'GMA' as 'Gay-MA' " and snicker about the hosts. "GMA" has been gaining in the ratings on No. 1 "Today" and cut its lead in half. For their part, the "GMA" folks are said to refer to "Today" as "Yesterday." Reps for both shows declined to comment.
Saudi authorities on Tuesday beheaded three Afghan citizens convicted of smuggling drugs into the country, the Interior Ministry said in a statement. The statement, carried by the official Saudi Press Agency, said Mohammed Qayoum Sakhi, Akbar Omar and Farid Jawid were arrested while trying to smuggle heroin into the kingdom. They were executed in the Red Sea port city of Jeddah. 
