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-Short Attention Span Theater-
Man in kilt arrested for allegedly shoving items up his rectum and returning them to shelves at antique stores
2024-02-20
[Blaze] A Texas man in a kilt was arrested after several shoppers reported seeing him grab items at two antique stores, shove them into his rectum, and then return them to store shelves.

Harris County Constable Mark Herman said in a post on Facebook that his office heard from several concerned citizens about the kilted man at an antique store on Feb. 15.

Police said they were able to identify the man as Mitchell Cooper Vest and arrested him.

KPRC-TV obtained some of the surveillance video of the man and included it in the report. It shows Vest walking around an antique store before appearing to stick an item under his kilt.
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Posted by:Besoeker

#13  Probably pretty much normal in certain circles back in the disco days...

A canny old Scot of the Quarter
Stuck curios not where he oughta.
One cold Sunday morn,
Among sporrans and corncobs
And claymores--
"Dude, where's my Toyota?"

Sorry, Mither, "Netsukes" didn't quite fit.
Posted by: Black Charlie tse Tung4252   2024-02-20 22:25  

#12  Just because I own a kilt doesn't mean it was me.
Posted by: Rex Mundi   2024-02-20 19:21  

#11  That, sir, is not first prize.
Posted by: swksvolFF   2024-02-20 16:28  

#10  And of course, someone had to do a cavity search in case more evidence was at hand.
Posted by: Procopius2k   2024-02-20 13:35  

#9  I can imagine Robin Williams doing 15 minutes of standup on this episode in Scottish brogue.
Posted by: Super Hose   2024-02-20 10:14  

#8  A kilt. I suppose the hospital gown was too obvious.
Posted by: ed in texas   2024-02-20 09:15  

#7  #2 An pretty soon he'll be walking the streets again, instead of committed to a Mental Ward.
Posted by NN2N1

Walking, awkwardly.
Posted by: Frank G   2024-02-20 07:33  

#6  #3...

Sorry, No BUTS about it. 🙈</big>
Posted by: NN2N1   2024-02-20 07:03  

#5  My grandparents had an antique store in NH years ago. They had problems with shoplifters. I am not sure that this man would have made it out of their store without a fractured cranium. Grammies best rolling pin would have ended up in an evidence bag along with a tasteful but besmirched Fenton fairy light.
Posted by: Super Hose   2024-02-20 06:41  

#4  Yet another attempt to out-Florida Man, the Florida Man.

Returns should be agreed upon prior to purchase. Plug fitting should be done in the privacy of home or office.


Posted by: Besoeker   2024-02-20 06:30  

#3  ...Everybody should have a hobby, but...

Mike
Posted by: MikeKozlowski   2024-02-20 06:27  

#2  
An pretty soon he'll be walking the streets again, instead of committed to a Mental Ward.
Posted by: NN2N1   2024-02-20 06:06  

#1  Kilt-wearing pervert is arrested after going into antique stores and shoving items up his rectum before placing them 'back on the shelf for display'
Posted by: Skidmark   2024-02-20 04:46  

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